I know nothing about the advertising world but I’ve made a few tweaks in my head and I personally think they would improve it.
The children aren’t rude and badly behaved, but lacklustre and clearly bored.
They come in moping just when nanny is doing her cards with cash.
She says what would you like to do? They politely ask if she’d mind taking them out for them to get a present for their parents. They hold up their pocket money they’ve saved up so we know they’re not trying to sponge off nanny.
As they leave one of the children says ‘let’s take pickles’.
Once in John Lewis the children are entranced by the magic of Christmas, but focus on their mission and get mum and dad a present.
We see Nanny looking thoughtful and this gives her the disco room idea.
On Christmas Day we don’t have the children gloomily shaking their Christmas cards. Instead they unwrap the key and the joy of the disco room commences.