Has anyone with adult children decided not to host anymore?

[Raisondeetre]

I always host Christmas. Have had various partners to stay over the years. Now have two grandchildren as well, and this year I have reached breaking point. Screaming children, mess, complete destruction of the house. Endless meals and washing up, loading and unloading the dishwasher. Washing machine on every day. One child who desperately needs sleep and a rest after a stressful year, not getting it. Another on a fitness regime, going to the gym at crack of dawn , and a badly behaved toddler. I have a UTI and feel crap. I’m never ever going to do this again, I’m hating every minute and just feel like a slave.

They haven’t got room to host. It’s the only time we all get together. What is the solution?

I think renting a cottage for a week in the summer would be a better option. They can pay the damage deposit!!

I'm sorry OP @Raisondeetre you didn't enjoy any of it.
Is it just too raw at the moment?
Have people shared photos of good bits?
The geography is so hard, does it build up expectations too much?

I’ve cleaned the house and order is restored. It wasn’t a bad trip as far as they were concerned and we did our best. I just dont want to do it again. Lots of great photos on the family WhatsApp though.

In two years time, the toddler will be 4ish and it will be a really special time. I’m not invalidating your experience because it sounds hard, but hopefully the hard work will pay off to make some lovely memories for the future (this is what I tell myself as a mother of a 4 and 2 year old, who is grateful to my long suffering parents and in laws for hosting the Christmas period!)

I feel you, @Raisondeetre
This year the kids again assumed they were coming to us. Both closer to 30 than 20, have sufficient space to host us if they put their mind to it. They literally turn up, sit around, don't offer to help with anything - if they do get asked to help it's either ignored or done with bad grace. I was relieved when they'd gone.
I don't think it unreasonable to expect them to offer to host you one year. I slept on an airbed while my parents had my bed when I hosted them in my first flat at Christmas!
Good for you putting your boundaries in place. Have a lovely peaceful time next year!