What would Christmas be without Mums?

[PontiacBandit]

I reckon 85% of Christmas is down to women making it special. Traditions, decorations, meals, gifts. The planning, having to think of everyone, the organising of when gifts go to people, shopping for gifts and food and alcohol, sending cards, cooking a massive roast meal on the day, wrapping gifts.

I have a good DH but he's pretty rubbish at these things. He does more housework than I do but the planning and organising is not his thing at all.

If women did nothing at this time of year it would be shit show wouldn't it?

I'm one of the lucky few. 😇
My hubby has always been quite hands on for christmas. But this year he's really stepped up. 🫶
My mum sadly passed away this summer 😔 and he has taken care of everything, except for decorating the real tree! ❤️🎄 😆

He's sorted out:
Gifts for our DS 🕺
Gifts for both sides of our family, 🎁
Christmas booze and snacks 🍾
Organised multiple days out 🎅
As well as booked us out for our christmas day meal at my mums favourite restaurant. 😋
Not all heroes wear capes 🙌

@PontiacBandit
Edited to add:
I hope you have a magical christmas.
Cheers to you 🥂

Why is sending a gift to your child bizarre?

Well, now you’re just being unpleasant and small-minded.

You're missing out on the opportunity to exploit (near adult) child labour there.

I'm a single mum, and DS2 (aged 10) is my pastry slave, so he makes the mince pies- I just put them in the oven. DS1 aged 15 will be making us pancakes for Christmas breakfast, and will be making the "perfect" roast potatoes he saw on YouTube 🙄. We all erected the tree and decorated it together (DS1 thought he could do it on his own, but did not in fact possess the skills 😆).

We might go out for a walk before Christmas Day and get some Holly and ivy together, or we might not.

Both DSes now react with horror to the idea of Christmas markets, concerts or pantos, so we don't do any of that.

XP will have them either before or after Christmas because he's too lazy to do the stockings or cook a proper dinner.

It’s not complicated at all. You’re being defensive because the truth is you have a man that will watch you flog yourself because he cba. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t care about Christmas. If Christmas is a ‘thing’ for you and his kids then his absenting himself with the cheese sandwich excuse is a cop out. And you’re compensating and enabling it. Same as the other men in your example. They’re just selfish useless dicks.

I agree to a certain extent - doing nothing is obviously unacceptable and I don’t see how someone could label someone like that a good partner.
But I think there’s a limit to how far you should be expected to go for something that your partner wants to do - if my DH suddenly decided that elf on the shelf was something he really wanted to start doing and was really important, that would be fine, but I’m not helping. He’s decided to give himself that job.

It’s not. Sending decorations for their university flat is what’s bizarre.

Why, for finding something ridiculous? I’m sure I do plenty of things that people find ridiculous- I can’t say I’ve let it upset me yet 🤷‍♀️

It’s really not. Glad you’re not my mum. 😅

I definitely enjoy the organising and buying and wrapping more - basically everything in the build up - DH enjoys being the busy practical one on the day including cooking, building toys, clearing up, drinks etc (food I make I prep in advance) which suits me fine because I just get to put my feet up on the day while he serves me all day lol.
I think it’s because he knows what he’s doing and doesn’t have to decide anything.

I find plenty of things ridiculous myself, but I’m also able to accept that other people have a different view. If you’re on the internet telling people that the things they have chosen to do are “bizarre” then yes, you are unpleasant and small-minded.

But why do you find it bizarre what do you find so strange about sending some Christmas decorations.to an adult child houseshare . I think that is what people are asking, you asked that poster if she had nothing better to do then found it bizarre do you think we should stop doing silly and fun things for our adult kids if we want to?

Oh well, I’m sure I’ll cope 😉

I find it bizarre because when I was that age, I bought my own decorations in my own taste with my friends. Is that okay with you? 😂

Me too, don’t worry 😂

That isn't really an answer but ok it is the answer you are going with.

It really is. If they had wanted decorations they would’ve got some! You need to let your children live without involving yourselves too much by the time they start university.

Normally I would agree with you and I always get over stressed this time of year.
This year my MH has taken a beating and I am having a break at an intervention centre for women.
My husband has shown his true colours and taken over completly looking after the children, dogs, house and fielding family. He has been bloody awesome.
Amazon has been my friend!!!

Yes, this is exactly my view. An 18/18/20 year old living away from home doesn’t need mummy buying them baubles and twinkly lights 😬

I’m the least involved mum of anyone I know. But sending nice things in the post takes no time. I even sent an advent calendar to his girlfriend at uni this year. The horror! 😂

As I said you don't need to stop having a bit of fun with them because they are 19,

As long as she doesn’t demand a photo to see what they look like up, then I think it’s a lovely thing to do.
If the DC doesn’t want it, they can just thank her and ignore it, but there’s a good chance it might make them smile and feel loved. I know it was certainly the case for me and my friends when we were away. I’m assuming the odd package once in a while, not a constant weekly bombardment.

Nobody has suggested that they “need” it. Some people like to do things beyond the bare minimum.

Online shopping has made Christmas prep so much easier - presents/food/drinks etc all can ordered online without having to face the crowds in the shops. Saves so much time.

I never said you did I just personally find it bizarre, you don’t. It’s really not that serious!