What would Christmas be without Mums?

[PontiacBandit]

I reckon 85% of Christmas is down to women making it special. Traditions, decorations, meals, gifts. The planning, having to think of everyone, the organising of when gifts go to people, shopping for gifts and food and alcohol, sending cards, cooking a massive roast meal on the day, wrapping gifts.

I have a good DH but he's pretty rubbish at these things. He does more housework than I do but the planning and organising is not his thing at all.

If women did nothing at this time of year it would be shit show wouldn't it?

Agree. I see so many women adding more and more tasks to an already full load and I just don’t get it. If my partner wanted to add lots of unnecessary nonsense to Christmas (which simply results in families not actually having any quality time to spend together) then she would have to do it herself because I won’t.

You say "mums" in the title but "women" in the first line - I reckon you're right re women doing most of the Christmas work even those of us who aren't mums 😊

I agree ,For many years I ran myself ragged shopping for nice presents .Ahh thank goodness for Amazon! Now Im older and our friend has cooked for us which is lovely.DH washes up preps veg and so on but planning left to the ladies I think!

Amazingly men love their families and want them to have a lovely Christmas. Not all men are useless.

You’re a keeper- and rare!

TBH I love Christmas, I arrange everything and my children all love Christmas too and my adult children enjoy coming home. I love buying gifts for everyone and book the panto, tree is purchased by me and decorated by the kids. I have already taken my youngest to lapland uk, ice skating, polar express at the IMAX, baking cinnamon biscuits etc etc my husband does buy nice gifts for me and the wine and cheeses.

However one thing i don't do is buy his family presents, If he chooses to buy nothing or some rubbish that is his choice.

Of course they do. There are differences between the sexes even if that’s an uncomfortable truth that’s unpalatable to you.

Yes, men have a penis and are generally bigger and stronger. It doesn’t affect their ability to go food shopping, buy presents, pick up a tree, etc. Do you know how much planning, logistics, social skills it takes to run a department/company/project? All these are transferable skills. Now, you may have a crap man in your life who is unable to do relatively simple tasks, but being brainwashed into thinking this is related to having a penis is not the case for many people. I’m sorry if that is unpalatable to you.

Up your standards! Do people really find useless men attractive?

I completely agree, and luckily don’t know any men or women like this (although I’m aware they exist). What sort of message are you sending to your children otherwise? Sorry you have a father that doesn’t care about you. Sorry you will grow up to believe women have to take in all the domestic duties. Let’s hope they can see this for themselves ans break the cycle.

My dad done everything for us at Christmas while my mum just sat and got drunk and moaned on about what a terrible man he was. If it was down to our mother we wouldn’t have had any Christmas.

Christmas would be all year round left to DH. But the dinner would have been abandoned over the years as he hates cooking a roast.
My father in the other hand would cook himself a roast, but decorate nothing.
Both would go mad on presents for loved ones, but noone else gets a thing.

The main elements would still get done (tree, dinner, presents) but on a much later time scale.

DH has started his Christmas shopping this week, I finished mine 2 weeks ago and have only got the last bits to do. Presents for people would be more generic - bath sets on 3 for 2 at boots, chocolate, alcohol. He does his side of the family and this is what they get if they don't explicitly ask him for something. The children and I are the only ones he puts thought into gifts for. Whereas my gifts for my side have more thought put in them.

I suffered a miscarriage last year for a baby due last Christmas so didn't feel like Christmas last year. DH put the tree up the weekend before Christmas with DD. Whereas this year and every other year the tree is up on last weekend of Nov or first weekend in December.

Dinner he would ship everyone off to the pub or it would be at another relatives house. Or he would do a takeaway and no Xmas dinner.

There wouldn't be the light trail, seeing Santa, Christmassy events as I always book those because I enjoy them and DH just doesn't look for them so never knows they are happening. Last year we did nothing in the run up to Christmas as I couldn't face it and DH just didn't prioritise booking stuff. DD saw father Christmas at the school fair the week before christmas purely because it was there when DH picked her up from school.

So I know bits would get done but no-where near as early as I would do them and all the nice extras wouldn't be done.

Why should they tie themselves in knots for something they don’t care about though?

If the woman wants to make it a Big Stressful Christmas why should he have to set himself on fire also?

It’s not that they can’t, it’s that they don’t see what all the stress is about.

But this is where women have got it a bit backwards.

Doing loads of stuff for Christmas does not = loving your family. Both can be true of course, but they are not the same thing.

there are no differences between DH and I in our ability to arrange the Christmas details . Jointly we have arranged Christmas for 20 people which makes them and DH and I happy.

DH and the men I know - family and friends care about their family having a happy Christmas and jointly work to make it happen.

So no gay men/couples have any sort of festive celebration and lesbians boost the tinsel economy several times over that of heterosexual couples.

Im child free by choice and am feeling pretty overwhelmed this year. Last year I had lost my dad to prostate cancer two months earlier so ppl got vouchers. This year they are getting cash because i just cant face traipsing round the shops when i already do the normal food shop physically as i dont do it online. Its just too much stress. I found the WDNC club on fb after reading about it in a magazine.

https://gb.readly.com/magazines/bella/2025-12-09/6933c72d5d133f0f88c91cde?srsltid=AfmBOopsk-B4VX7nOZ7FU0IiNLv_Wmq7L7sFv-0VqYkop06QglU0TzI0

What would Christmas be without women??? - well there would t be Christmas if my husband was in charge! 😂

Nothing would get done, the decorations wouldn’t be put up, the presents wouldn’t get bought or wrapped and there would be no food in. My husband would probably drive to work (which would be closed) if I didn’t remind him he had booked annual leave and everywhere is closed 🙄

I'd turn this on it's head and question why mum's make such a meal out of it! Does Christmas have to be so seemingly complicated.
It is, because women do it.

My children’s wouldn’t get anything if it was left to their dad. I do think these things are seen as a woman’s job

Children*

Why wouldn’t your DH ensure they had a good Christmas? Why do you think it’s a women’s job?
I hope that’s not a message you’re passing onto your DC’s.

If a disaster happened and you got taken into hospital over the Christmas period are you saying your DH would be incapable of organising a good Christmas for your DC’s?

I think so too! I have a good one who helps with chores/childcare/facilitating my career etc but I don’t think Christmas would be the same if he was in charge! I book up our Christmas activities in Sept and sort gifts and cards Nov so it’s really just making the most of the festivities when they time comes. I do want to add I am grumpy that even though I do all the leg work the dog and daughter still favour him!