When is the right time to let your child know Father Christmas isn’t real?

[Greyhoundnewbie]

My Husband thinks they should know before secondary school. And I do agree really. But my Dd is 9 and the youngest in her year (year 5) and she completely and utterly believes in all of it.
I feel like after this year, 1 more Christmas, and the she needs to know, it feels so harsh.

Just looking for other views, and what some of you have done in the past. All my friends have younger children so I can’t get any advice in real life.

I think my DD was helping us to ‘make the magic’ at 10, for DS who was 6 at the time.
Secondary school children can be very cruel, so don’t let your DC be put in a difficult situation.

Me.

What do you mean by allowed it to happen? He is a very black and white child. Santa didn’t make sense to him. He told us he knew Santa wasn’t real. We told him he was right but it was a fun game people play at Christmas. We explained that lots of children do believe, so he shouldn’t tell his friends or his older brother. He was fine with that. He loved Christmas after that and still does. It wasn’t at all heartbreaking. We have wonderful magical Christmas’. It’s my and my children’s favourite time of the year. I parent by doing what’s best for my children and parenting the children I have (shaping my responses to them to their personalities) not by blindly doing what’s best for me.

I told mine from the start. It's fun to pretend but it's not real. And if you had to face sobbing children claiming their parents wouldn't lie to them when faced with another child who ridiculed them for believing you'd do the same. ( I'm a primary school teacher)

Your strong reactions on this thread are a bit bewildering.
Millions of children globally and throughout history, have managed to have fun, magical childhoods without knowing about or believing in Father Christmas.

Some people choose to cultivate a fun belief in Father Christmas that their child usually figures out (some sceptical children sooner than other children) isn't true on their own, others choose to treat Father Christmas like an imagination game (the route I took, as I didn't want to lie to my kids about something minor), and still others don't bother with Father Christmas at all but rather focus on charity, and gift giving between friends and family at a meaningful time of year.

None of these things are likely to scar anyone's children!

That’s an interesting take. We said the same things to him as we did to his older brother, his brother believed till he was much older. Which suggests that maybe (shock horror) all children are different? Either way, I’m very happy with my choices and I’m glad you’re happy with yours.

You don't. They eventually start to find out by themselves and ask you...

All that matters is that they don’t find out in November or December as it’ll be on their mind. We’ve always told before secondary, actually generally age 11/12

Best to wait until they question it and know, no need to burst the bubble. DC is in y7 and they and friends still believe.

My ds still believes (in year 6) I plan to tell him in a few months

@stayok excellent idea

TBH I'm amazed kids at school have not told her. My brother is the kind of kid who always found where the presents were hidden-he is 4 years older than me and I don't remember a time when I believed in Father Christmas- certainly by the time I went to school at 5 I knew.

Never, we had an unspoken agreement, they knew, that we knew, that they know... But nobody must ever say!

I suppose on writing the above, I should correct myself, when they have there own children and are negotiating the same thing we discuss it together.