When is the right time to let your child know Father Christmas isn’t real?

[Greyhoundnewbie]

My Husband thinks they should know before secondary school. And I do agree really. But my Dd is 9 and the youngest in her year (year 5) and she completely and utterly believes in all of it.
I feel like after this year, 1 more Christmas, and the she needs to know, it feels so harsh.

Just looking for other views, and what some of you have done in the past. All my friends have younger children so I can’t get any advice in real life.

If they still believe at 11, then definitely before they start senior school. If they have younger siblings, then get them involved in the make-believe.

Our children are now 25, 23 & 22. I honestly dont think we ever had the talk about it. We kept the dream "real" for us as much as them. Our daughter, the oldest, once questioned it (even then late Primary school age), we agreed that she had to keep it real for her brothers and fully went along with it. We loved it as much as they did - all part of the best job in the world! What did annoy us was because SIL put presents under her tree (it all had to look "just so") their kids asked why they weren't with FC to bring. She told them at a very young age, therefore every time the in laws came round to us, they'd blatantly say in front of ours " they dont STILL believe do they?" I could quite happily have smacked them around the face for that!

Mine are 11 & 9… barely hanging onto believing. My eldest goes to secondary school next year so this is definitely the last year. I will be sad but they’re definitely figuring it out. I keep getting questions like “mummy do you move the elves?” “I know that’s not the real Santa” etc.

I used to teach in Primary and then Secondary. Something happens in the summer between Y6 and 7. Kids brains just click by themselves. Some Y6 they all still believe and others it's just a few. By Christmas in Y7 no one believes anymore. Same for me, same for my DC.

I began to have doubts aged 7 - my sister aged 5 when she discovered our Xmas presents in mum’s wardrobe.

I do think some parents are a little selfish wanting to retain the ‘magic of Christmas’ and not telling their kids until they are 10 or 11.

I never told them. They just worked it out for themselves. I reckon they were about 10 or 11 ish by the time he stopped coming but ive no idea when they stopped believing.
I do remember when my eldest knew though. One year she said to me ' can I come with you when you go to smiths for santa for the smallys'. She was probably about 9 or 10 and her sisters wld have been 2 and 3 ish.
Good times.

We told DD in the February of Year 6 and she started secondary in the September. We wanted to let her have one last Christmas of believing and then give it enough time before she started secondary. TBH I think she already knew as lots of kids had been taking about it from Year 5 onwards but I think being told it by a grown up cemented it.

It seemed to work out well timing wise and we explained that she had to still help us make it magical for her younger brother as we want him to have as many years of believing as her.

🙄 Selfish? Parents are selfish, for wanting to retain the magic of Christmas?

FFS! I've heard it all now.

You use a cheque book in 2025? Or has Santa not moved with the times? (Sorry, I couldn’t resist it: coal in my stocking for me!) Mind you, a cheque is a tangible object that can be put in a stocking, unlike a bank transfer.

It’s pretty pathetic to be honest - almost as bad as religion in believing made up nonsense.

I figured it out when I was about 8 or 9, and I was a little bit gutted when I found out that Christmas.. I got up to go to the loo (at about 11pm) and sneaked downstairs, and I saw my dad walking down the long hallway, taking some presents into the lounge.

I got up at 3am and moved all the presents into the dining room, and went back to bed. Then I got up just before my dad, and he came into the lounge and said with a shocked face 'where's all the presents?!'

I knew then that it was him, and not Santa. I was fine later that morning though, when I opened my presents and I'd got what I wanted!

.

Ha ha now it makes sense. My 7 year old has been telling me since he was 5 that he thinks the parents do it, I’m still trying to convince him otherwise 🤣 he is autistic too, whereas my 6 yr old (NT) doesn’t question it at all

Calm down! This is hardly the most pressing of threads!

Wait until your daughter asks questions and answer them honestly. When my daughter was nine, she told me that she wasn’t sure about Father Christmas. I told her that Santa came only to those who believed in him! She said that she believed!

Ours started tapering off from Yr5/6 and this year at Yr8 & 10 is our first year with no elf and really no Father Christmas, I’m not sure I like it!

I don’t plan on ever having the chat with my DD. She will absolutely figure it out soon but but I remember my mum confirming it to me and I was devastated! I knew, I had known for months, but the confirmation broke my heart! It will happen naturally, do you need to officially ‘have a chat’?

Mine believed until year 7/8 it depends on their classmates. A village school, small class, they all believed.

In the Summer before they start secondary school.
Most children work it out before that anyway.

Why is there no Father Christmas? You don't have to believe to write a letter and have Father Christmas leave you a stocking.

Are you sure they did or they just didn't tell you they didn't? I'm not sure however small the school is that kids/teachers didn't give the game away in year 7. Honestly if no educational needs I would start to be concerned if anyone above 10 honestly believed the quite honestly ridiculous logistics involved.

I still have him @Halfblindbunnyand he will of course be coming, but I mean it’s the first year that both of them have stopped even pretending to believe!

Santa still leaves my lot a stocking and chocolate decorations. Hes a very good Santa.
Life is hard enough. Nowt wrong with finding joy where you can.