Just don’t tell them the lie in the first place, then there’s no illusion to break or magic lost.
No guilt, no devastation, no horrible upsets later down the line, no damaged trust.
Yes they might miss out on the Santa story as a true belief but they will gain other things and appreciate that they weren’t lied to later on. There are plenty of ways to celebrate and include Santa in fun festivities without creating a whole belief system that’s not real and will topple and cause damage on both sides.
Telling children a lie as truth, that exploits their natural faith and re-enforces it via repetition is a very ancient tradition used by many cultures. This was (is) mostly some form of bogey man used to keep children in line using the fear of ‘x’ if they misbehave. Reversely sprites and other faerie folklore have been used to encourage or reward good behaviour but also in the negative/ threatening sense too.
Made up inventions like this are basically used by parents and other care givers as a tool on a threat/ reward basis.
Traditional but entirely invented, and I think it is important to carefully consider what is behind things like this and what might be the result of engaging kids into deliberately false beliefs. How will it shape them? Children’s beliefs run so very deep into the heart of them, they become their true lived world and are precious. Beliefs shape how they see themselves, their parents/ care givers and the world around them.
Imo anything that deliberately invokes fear or anxiety should be handled with caution.
The stories that directly use threat to keep kids in line or even the reward stories which are a more subtle form of manipulation are predominantly for parental benefit. If there is a threat element (direct harm in the worst of traditional stories, there are literally thousands of cultural bogeymen and plenty made up within individual families too) OR the threat of missing out on a reward / something good (ie no presents if you misbehave) this establishes and gives power to a needless fear. Exploitation of a child’s natural trust in their parents and using fear to manipulate them into good behaviour is harmful imo.
Santa is a mild form of this, he’s a good guy but I do think there is still an element of ‘behave well and Santa will bring you presents’. It also plays into a conditional love mindset, of performance based acceptance and many kids already have this going on anyway and it doesn’t take much to set the idea (if I’m good = love, if I’m bad = less love). We work really hard to counter the idea and self belief of conditional (good) performance based love, which can silently slip in amongst busy day to day family life and when we have to tell off and reset boundaries etc.
Santa as it has evolved in our modern story telling kind of crosses over the threat/ reward narrative and fits a bit of both. He is so popular as a pretty uncomplicated good guy, but there is still the threat of the naughty list and the fact he is ever watchful (he sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, which is pretty weird). The fear here is quite subtle, it’s not a worry of being carried off into the night (like with some ancient traditions) but of have I been good enough? Am I a good boy/ girl? Will Santa come? Will he find our house? Did he get my list? Will Santa forget me?
Can any adults here - who believed in Santa as children, can you honestly and truthfully tell me there was no anxiety involved (mixed in with the ‘magic’)?
There is plenty of magic in real things, actual real things in the real world that kids can get excited about. A trip to the Jurassic coast to find real dinosaur fossils, treasure hunting, seeing Christmas lights. That’s what’s wonderful about children, give them a chance to see and experience the wonder of the world around them, there is magic in the enjoyment and discovery. We don’t need to tether them to a lie that will come back and bite them and the parent/s too.
I agree to tell a small child something false and then smash it down is cruel. Don’t do it. Build a flimsy tower of bricks and sooner or later it’s coming down.
Give them truth. Christmas can still be so wonderful and special.