spending on grandchildren at Christmas

[way2serious]

We’ve currently got 2 grandchildren (from our eldest daughter) on whom we spend about £150 each. So firstly is this too much / not enough / about right? And secondly, we have four other children and so very likely to have more grandchildren in the next few years. We want to be as fair as possible and would need to decrease our spending for each child to ensure they all had the same amount as we couldn’t afford £150 each for more than 2. This obviously means that the first two will have had more for a few years. Do we need to make this up to the others or just lower the amount for all of them?

I hope that makes sense - I know I am probably overthinking things!! How have you managed what you spend as the number of grandchildren increases?

I wouldn’t budget in quite that way. I mean obviously I agree that you set a limit, but the thing to remember with kids is that they have absolutely no idea about money. £150 is very lovely. But I certainly wouldn’t be basing my buying on spending to budget: buying something bigish and perhaps something smaller and then wondering what to spend the rest on a bit like you’re on Bargain Hunt and need to make the most of your money.

This year, my parents are getting our 3 year old a wooden mouse windmill (gorgeous and about £60) she’ll love it. There will probably be a book or two and perhaps some clothing and sweets but maybe not. Last year the ‘big present’ was a ballerina Barbie (didn’t wholly approve, but what can you do!?) that cost something like £25 quid, plus a book and a tutu and some stickers. Ballerina Barbie was by far her favourite present from Christmas!

My point being maybe think more about a set number of things. Some years you might find something for the main present (or maybe they have a list) that is pretty pricey but equally it might be something like Ballerina Barbie or a Duplo set, that’s actually far cheaper than the enjoyment and excitement the child gets from it.

As others have suggested maybe £50 (or whatever you think you can afford and it be fair for futures GC) to go into a saving account. However, personally I would then get them something small (£20 or less) for them to open too.

We have 3 grandchildren, one by our son, two by our daughter. For christmas we spend 100 euro per child. They receive something for their birthdays too. We think that is generous but not exagerated, I think we can continue in this way in the future.

Agree.

no idea what the right amount is . My parents give £100 to each grandchild ( they have 6 soon to be 7 )

But they are your GC not your children unless you are raising them and there parents are useless. Buying expensive main presents is a parents job and you're overshadowing that

Depends on the family, the parents could spend £300, for example.

My kids are the only grandkids and grandparents spend around £50-£75 each on them. They are very well off and could afford to spend more if they wanted but there’s just no need. The kids get plenty from us.

I’d stop the clothes. Kids that young don’t care about clothes. Just get a few nice books and toys.

Im spending over £1200 but i only have one grandchild, its on a special trip plus some other bits and pieces. Last year it was about £140. She doesn’t really ask for expensive gifts. I didnt spend much on her birthday. I waited a long time for a grandchild and i do tend to buy a lot for her but i dont mind.

My aunt has just bought her GC the Moulin Roty wooden garage. It is more like a public parking building and has a lift you can winch up and down to take the cars up the levels, then ramps for them to whizz down. Little wooden cars to go with it and a filling station where the cars can get filled up with pretend fuel.

We had the Fisher Price version when I was little and we all played with it for hours on end. Little children just like the winching up action then the racing down the ramp; as older children we made lives or journeys (which involved setting out roadways) for the cars beyond just the garage.

This one is lovely, it's wooden and far from crap, will no doubt still be in lovely working condition for her GGC, but I think cost 150 in one hit.

So I agree, you don't need to be buying piles of tat to spend £150 these days/

But it doesn't matter how much the parents are spending. Presents from others should be a small token gift. Grandparents have had there time getting to buy loads of presents and spoiling there own kids now its time to step aside and let the actual parents get that magical moment

I disagree with the above - my parents spend more on my children at Xmas than we do (and more than the OP) and buy the “biggest” present and I don’t mind at all - they have a great relationship with them (based on time not just money) and it’s lovely they get to enjoy them getting their presents.

Also saves me money at an expensive time of year as I buy a little less than I would otherwise as I don’t want them totally spoilt!

I’m an only child though so there’s no potential for wider family upset.

Other GPs spend much less (prob £20 each) and that’s fine too.

I agree with this: children don't appreciate gifts according to the cost.

Just do what you are comfortable with op, in terms of planning for later GC as well.

My GPs gave me lovely gifts but gave a Mason Pearson hairbrush one year when I was about 8 or 9. It was the large one. I kept it until after I was married and could afford to refresh it, and it was brilliant. However, I remember being silently a little underwhelmed at the time.

Same brush retails at £145 these days!

Its a generous amount.
Its great if you can afford it and it gives you pleasure but tbh if other granfchildren are likely to come along then i echo pp and say start as you mean to go on.
DHs mum started a savings plan for his brother DCs ,her eldest DGC, however she couldnt afford to do the same for ours so her eldest DGC have received a lot more than her other DGC .

How do you spend £150 on a one year old?!

I don't really focus on cost to make something equal. Kids don't know how much things cost. In the interests of equality, I get my young grandchildren the same number of gifts, that will be appreciated equally because they suit their own enthusiasms.
I don't think I've ever spent more than £50. Usually £25-30, plus some sweets and cheap stocking fillers.

This year one DGD's presents will cost half the amount of her sister's. But the presents will be appreciated equally by them, because they're things I know they will love.

Oh I don’t feel this way at all! Im so happy to have two sets of grandparents for my little boy that take an interest and spend lots of time looking for things he will enjoy! They’ve had their time stressing over the cost of childcare, paying their mortgage, covering all the non-fun costs like school uniforms etc - if they want to spend £150 at Christmas I don’t mind. My grandad was always a soft touch with me though so maybe that’s why I feel this way 😂

I have 3 grandchildren - 18, 17 and 11 - they get £100 cash each from me plus a gift of around £50 plus I get each family an adventure voucher. I spent much less on them when they were younger but the older 2 like the cash and drag me out sometimes to spend it!

My mum offers about £100 each but I always say it's too much, I think £30-50 is plenty. My MIL is financially better off and spends about £20-30 on birthdays and Christmas, but always gives them spending money before holidays and she paid for their first uniforms, occasional school trip or a family day out etc

Grandparents, know your place!

You're there to do childcare FOC, to support your GCs parents in all things, never criticise or give unwanted advice, and only buy your grandkids a bottle of bubble liquid and a packet of chocolate buttons for Christmas, because you've had your time!

Our Great grandchildren are only getting a small gift each to open Christmas Day. We have bought their winter coats. They don't need so much money spent on them surely. You are fortunate to have such a huge sum of money spare to spend on them. Don't let them get used to the Grandparents as the 'Golden Goose' you will regret it in the long term.

Personally, I don't think you need to worry about possible grandchildren who aren't born yet, but it's very kind of you to think of balancing things.

i HAD to make myself follow the rule:
something they want
something they need
something to wear
something to read
or I would buy them a whole toy shop each!
I do get creative though e.g dressing up clothes for their something to wear!

That's very similar to what I did for my friend's 4 year old

A book
A toy
A couple of silly things like bubbles and some stickers

Comes to about £20 to £25

That seems a lot. Now my mother has 13 grandchildren, so obviously that's a big family, but 150 is a lot to spend on a child, no matter how many you have?

My parents give £30-50 worth of gifts/money

MIL used to give £20 in a card

FIL buys a £25 voucher usually