Page 10 | spending on grandchildren at Christmas

LaddersAndLadders · 13/12/2025 17:41

Grandparents don't give Christmas or birthday presents in our family. We all have too much stuff and no where to store them. Charity shops are increasingly refusing toys as they can't get rid of them either. We'd gladly buy anything the grandparents need or want though when we can.

Discuss it with your children as they may not want or need more stuff or if you really have to then 10 to 25 per child is plenty.

Original poster

way2serious · 13/12/2025 18:26

Thanks again everyone. I actually went shopping today and could have bought some more ‘bits’ but consciously put things back on the shelves after everything that has been said here.

OP posts:

pebbles8811 · 13/12/2025 18:55

My mum spends £50 each on my kids

Btowngirl · 13/12/2025 19:28

£150 per child is very generous, I’d rather people didn’t spend that much on our children (1 and 4) unless it was to invest for them/into their savings. I think birthdays are better to push the boat out than Christmas.

To be honest (and this throws my friends and family into a spin) I don’t spend the same on my own. They just get gifts I know they’ll like, we are lucky we aren’t having to really budget but likewise we don’t go overboard for them. Young ones are easy to buy for without it breaking the bank imo. I like PP’s suggestion of secretly saving for them all until their 18th or 21st birthdays!

HandmadeNanna · 13/12/2025 20:21

way2serious · 12/12/2025 10:42

We’ve currently got 2 grandchildren (from our eldest daughter) on whom we spend about £150 each. So firstly is this too much / not enough / about right? And secondly, we have four other children and so very likely to have more grandchildren in the next few years. We want to be as fair as possible and would need to decrease our spending for each child to ensure they all had the same amount as we couldn’t afford £150 each for more than 2. This obviously means that the first two will have had more for a few years. Do we need to make this up to the others or just lower the amount for all of them?

I hope that makes sense - I know I am probably overthinking things!! How have you managed what you spend as the number of grandchildren increases?

If your budget covers £150, then I suppose that would be ok. I just wonder what you are buying? Not sure the current price of toys as we don't have grandchildren to buy for, but I would imagine the price of a good toy would be around £50. You don't have to spend the same on each child. Buy them something they will enjoy.
I had 3 children and never felt that I had to spend the same on each. Dh's grandchildren are abroad so we send them a Christmas tree decoration each year with a card. Hopefully, they will take their decorations with them when they grow up and remember Grandad and Nanna when they decorate their own trees.

Lollipop81 · 13/12/2025 20:50

way2serious · 13/12/2025 18:26

Thanks again everyone. I actually went shopping today and could have bought some more ‘bits’ but consciously put things back on the shelves after everything that has been said here.

Personally I think that’s a shame. How well do you know your own children? As long as they are happy for you to spend that money then go ahead and do it.

Handrearedmagpie · 13/12/2025 21:09

My DC get £50 from one set of grandparents, who give the same to each grandchild, and approx £100 from my parents, but it just depends what they want/need,
id defo consider a panto/experience type gift when they are older though, something to build memories.,

Manthide · 13/12/2025 21:33

I have to admit I don't have set amounts for each dc or gc! If I think dd1 would appreciate something that cost £20 and I see something dd2 might like for £30 I don't try and equalise it. Another year it might be the other way around. I have 3gc and I probably spent more on the eldest 2 gc (from different dc) than I will do on my newest gc as she has plenty of clothes from her cousin and toys from her brother. I would be very disappointed if dd1 and dd2 were adding up the cost of my gifts.

bloomingbonkerz · 13/12/2025 22:57

I have 2 they’re 9 and 3 and we spend 150-300 each depending on what they need and want my saying is while I’ve got it they can have it life’s short and you’re a long time dead enjoy spoiling them aslong as you can

Anononony · 14/12/2025 01:38

Whatever your budget allows is fine, as long as it's fairly even. Doesn't have to be to the £ but similar ballpark.

I'm not a grandparent but my mums budget is ~ £50 each, that's plenty from a grandparent imo

Manthide · 14/12/2025 06:56

Dm and df have 4gc and normally spend around £20 on each of them. They also used to take them to the pantomime every year. Ds (22) is a bit disappointed this year as dm has decided now the youngest will be 18 at Christmas not to do the pantomime this year. It has only been the youngest 2 for the last 10 years as the other 2 are in their 30s.

Dancingintherain09 · 14/12/2025 14:04

I have one DGC and I have spent about £70
So what I do is I've spent around £150 on each of my three DC they know once they have children they get less so the £150 then gets split between them and their child.
So now my DS (24 and 17) who dont have children still get £150 DD (23) gets £75 and DGS gets £75. Ill do the same with DS when they have kids. I have a christmas budget that I put money away for throughout the year. I also stress that it's not about who gets what or big gifts.

TheignT · 14/12/2025 15:21

Dancingintherain09 · 14/12/2025 14:04

I have one DGC and I have spent about £70
So what I do is I've spent around £150 on each of my three DC they know once they have children they get less so the £150 then gets split between them and their child.
So now my DS (24 and 17) who dont have children still get £150 DD (23) gets £75 and DGS gets £75. Ill do the same with DS when they have kids. I have a christmas budget that I put money away for throughout the year. I also stress that it's not about who gets what or big gifts.

Do your children's partners get anything? I have the same budget for my kids, their partners and GC. This is the first year I've bought for GSs girlfriend but that's just a small token present

Dancingintherain09 · 14/12/2025 22:42

TheignT · 14/12/2025 15:21

Do your children's partners get anything? I have the same budget for my kids, their partners and GC. This is the first year I've bought for GSs girlfriend but that's just a small token present

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Currently just token gifts as they've not been together long. We spent £10-15 . I may go more when they've been together longer. Only my daughter has a partner currently and they've only been together 4 months (she split DGS dad as he was controlling) .

ChewbaccasMrs · 14/12/2025 22:53

We spend about £80 each on our 2DGC we only have 2 right now but we have 5DC so could end up with a few more so I thought it was best to keep it to under £100 per Grandchild from the beginning,we do buy them some stocking fillers and advent calendars ontop of that.

Infracat · 14/12/2025 23:00

My parents spend £100 each. MIL spends £200 each (it used to be £300 before she retired)

TheignT · 15/12/2025 11:39

Dancingintherain09 · 14/12/2025 22:42

Currently just token gifts as they've not been together long. We spent £10-15 . I may go more when they've been together longer. Only my daughter has a partner currently and they've only been together 4 months (she split DGS dad as he was controlling) .

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I've never thought about if ILs spend similar on my DC to their own child. I always spend the same (within a pound or two) but maybe I'm not being fair to my own DC. Interesting thought.

Manthide · 15/12/2025 15:26

TheignT · 15/12/2025 11:39

I've never thought about if ILs spend similar on my DC to their own child. I always spend the same (within a pound or two) but maybe I'm not being fair to my own DC. Interesting thought.

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I either get them a joint present or spend about £10 on sil and £20 on dd1/dd2. And then between £20 and £30 on each of their dc, my gc.

CrossiantsForBreakfast · 15/12/2025 17:17

3 different ‘sets’ of grandparents for DC.

One gets all a board game for each family/ set of grandkids.

One gets a board game as a family gift like above but also a selection box for each DC

Other spends about £20-30 on each DC and puts together a gift bag with lots of different things in. Sort of like a stocking in terms of items in it.

LovesToMunchPlants · 15/12/2025 22:37

£150 is very generous but in my opinion wildly excessive and not required at all. I'd say £20-40 is more than enough. We ask for one present only per child per grandparent or it all gets out of control and too overwhelming for everyone. Keep it simple

Waynettaaa · 16/12/2025 14:55

I have 4 DGC. I actually have no idea on how much I spend, as such.

It varies by what they need - eg: 1 needs a new bed this year, so we've bought that, so we've bought another more expensive gift that will go between 2 and the youngest is a newborn, so we've bought nappies, weaning stuff etc as it will be useful and save DC money as they won't have to buy them.

I then buy a mix of clothing, "fun bits" and some books & toys. I buy as I see, so don't tott up how much they are/to a budget.

Their ages range from newborn to 7.

I also have 4 DC (& their partners). Again, I buy as I see, not to a budget. I've spent £20 each on nieces & in-laws. Probably £10 - £15 on 2 close friends.

**edited to add - my pets also get a stocking with treats, as do DS & DR'S pets 🤣

UniqueWriter · 20/12/2025 19:04

I think it has to be about setting the parental expectations and I agree with the poster who said that the parents should be buying the bulk of the presents for their children. Having said that though Toys are so expensive. I have one grandson who is 6 and he's getting 4 presents from me costing £120 in total. It's more than enough and I can't afford anymore especially when my own children are requesting expensive gifts that I have no hope of being able to afford.

Debtcrusher · 20/12/2025 19:11

VeruccaSalty · 12/12/2025 11:03

That is a lot. I don't let my kids ask for anything more than £30 from their grandparents (who have 6 and 9 grandchildren). Also if they are really young, they don't need or appreciate a load of money spent on them. I would cut back and you can always be a more generous when older, if you can afford it. I don't know if you need to worry about making it up to.the children that don't exist yet. My in laws spent a lot on the first two grandchildren as they were the only ones for like 10 years. Mine are not aware of this and my husband and I don't care. But maybe worth a conversation with your children as I know from Mumsnet some are a bit funny about that kind of thing

Same. My parents give each of their ten children €50 each for Christmas. They are not short of money at all. They don't pay for any extras (not that I would expect it) nor do they help with childcare.
The grandchildren are age between 20 and 8 if that helps with perspective.

RAPSMom · 20/12/2025 20:10

Do a list of what you would like to get them, go through it with the parents… there wasn’t really a limit. As they’ve got older, now 10 and 13 we tell the GC there is a limit, usually about £100 each… they do their lists on the Amazon wish list. I share it with DiL… she leaves notes on the items… Already got loads of these… no room… etc! Works well. At the moment we have spent more on DiL than Son!

Aussiemum87 · 20/12/2025 21:35

My eldest son is 11 years older than the next grandchild. You don’t need to ‘make it up’ . Buy what you think the kids would like and don’t worry about an amount. It doesn’t have to be equal.