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Christmas

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Original poster

spending on grandchildren at Christmas

254 replies

way2serious · 12/12/2025 10:42

We’ve currently got 2 grandchildren (from our eldest daughter) on whom we spend about £150 each. So firstly is this too much / not enough / about right? And secondly, we have four other children and so very likely to have more grandchildren in the next few years. We want to be as fair as possible and would need to decrease our spending for each child to ensure they all had the same amount as we couldn’t afford £150 each for more than 2. This obviously means that the first two will have had more for a few years. Do we need to make this up to the others or just lower the amount for all of them?

I hope that makes sense - I know I am probably overthinking things!! How have you managed what you spend as the number of grandchildren increases?

OP posts:
Hons123 · 12/12/2025 18:46

People have gone mad. It is not their birthday. It is somebody else's birthday for starters. Too late for you to change this silly frivolity, but maybe other people will see sense, hopefully. Why set such a ridiculous precedent? It is not even about the money - my friend, having set a similar idiotic precedent, realised in 4 years, that when she came to visit her dgc, they were not looking at her face, they were looking at her hands, hungrily seeing presents. It is a sorry state of affairs.

Franjipanl8r · 12/12/2025 18:47

Kids have so much stuff already I’d rather grandparents got them something small and put cash aside for savings when the kids are older if they wanted to be more generous.

abowl · 12/12/2025 18:47

I wouldn't worry too much about it -first grandchildren quite often receive more. If you are thinking of setting up savings for grandchildren yes it would be ideal to even this up in the future. My husband is the youngest of his siblings - there is a vast difference between the grandchildren, but that's just the way it is - the first grandchildren were born at a time when their grandparents were in very good health and had good disposable incomes that allowed them to spend, not only on presents but holidays and they have many beautiful memories because of the time they had. Our children were born much later and my mother in law had alzheimers (fairly young) and she couldn't do all the things she did with the first ones - if you can afford to spend £150 on each do and enjoy it!

Whichone2024 · 12/12/2025 18:47

I don’t think you should have to worry about making it up to future grandkids.
I’m the last from a big family to have a kid and my parents spend less on the grandkids now than they did years ago and it doesn’t bother me at all! We totally understand that they have a million grandkids including step grandkids and it would just be too much to spend!

my LO most treasured gift from my parents is a tiny turtle from a kinder egg that they found clearing out their garage lol. It goes everywhere on his pocket ☺️
I think the one spend that stayed big for all the grandkids is christening jewellery.
but as grown ups I’m sure your kids will understand x

loriat · 12/12/2025 18:47

Circumstances vary so spend what you can afford. There is no right or wrong amount here. We are spending roughly £100 per grandchild this year, but this may not be affordable next year, so we will reassess when the time comes

suburberphobe · 12/12/2025 18:53

Well, I hope you've got the roof over your head secured before throwing money at more tat for Christmas....

Kids and grandkids should be taught that education is more important than more landfill.

MyDeftDuck · 12/12/2025 18:54

My DD’s would be mortified if I spend £150 on my DGC! I have a budget of £40 and having 4 to buy for plus ‘step GC’ the cost soon mounts up. Be realistic OP , you don’t know how many GC you might be buying for eventually.

Middleagedspreadisreal · 12/12/2025 18:55

We have a limit of £30 for Christmas and their birthdays

mummyof2boys30 · 12/12/2025 18:57

Seperated grandparents here
MIL £100 normally (though gave nothing last year)
FIL anytihing from £20-£50
My mum - £50 and sweets
My dad - usually £50 or bit more if something specific

BellRock1234 · 12/12/2025 18:59

My parents always gave me money "to help santa out", rather than giving presents directly to my DC, then bought a small thing for them to open on the day.

There were no expectations of what I would spend it on - just anything to contribute to a nice xmas. They would have been equally happy for me to spend it on DC's presents, their winter clothes, the xmas food shop or DC's savings. 100% pure generosity, coming from their own memories of how expensive it can be.

I tend to buy something specific, usually tickets for a big day out, and make sure DC know who it is from, and then I add to their savings pot with the rest.

This it totally appreciated by me, and I hope to one day do the same for my own grandchildren.

Tryonemoretime · 12/12/2025 19:00

way2serious · 12/12/2025 10:42

We’ve currently got 2 grandchildren (from our eldest daughter) on whom we spend about £150 each. So firstly is this too much / not enough / about right? And secondly, we have four other children and so very likely to have more grandchildren in the next few years. We want to be as fair as possible and would need to decrease our spending for each child to ensure they all had the same amount as we couldn’t afford £150 each for more than 2. This obviously means that the first two will have had more for a few years. Do we need to make this up to the others or just lower the amount for all of them?

I hope that makes sense - I know I am probably overthinking things!! How have you managed what you spend as the number of grandchildren increases?

At Christmas, we spend around £60 on each of our 7 grandchildren. None of them have parents who are poor, so don't actually need money from us. I also have what are called 'Gran days', when, around 6 times a year, I take them out individually talk to them over cake and a drink and then give them around £25 to buy whatever they fancy. They absolutely love that, and it means I have times when I focus on each child as individuals.

tedibear · 12/12/2025 19:03

My parents spend similar on their 5 grandkids. They have quite a low income. I think it is a bit much. They come over here and it’s like a whole other Santa sack full of toys 🤦🏻‍♀️

I know my mum feels pressure (from herself) to continue as the teenagers have been used to it. She also had only 2 for a while and then 2 went to 5 within a few years. I know she gives the teenagers £150 plus a few small things to open up.

I think £100 is more than enough to be honest. It’s what is affordable though.

Emcolmol · 12/12/2025 19:04

I have 12 grandchildren and we give around £30 each at Christmas. We have a large family so they get lots of money & presents from everyone else. I think you’re spending way too much to be honest

Dawnb19 · 12/12/2025 19:05

My mum and dad sends me and my siblings £100 for each grandchild (all 7) to spend on clothes and then we give them the stuff for them to wrap and give to the grandchildren.

Hedgehogbrown · 12/12/2025 19:05

way2serious · 12/12/2025 12:45

Thank you everyone for your feedback. We are definitely overspending by the sounds of it. The boys are 1 and 3. We've bought two outfits each, some toys, books, jigsaws etc and a few sweets / chocolates. Will look at what we could keep until birthdays and will be buying less going forwards.

How do their parents react? Are you overshadowing their gifts? Family members should give a one gift limit in my opinion. we can never buy much for our 2 year old because his Gran overshadows us and buys him masses of stuff. It annoys me so much. She isn't his Mother.

Usernamenotav · 12/12/2025 19:06

My mum has 8 grandchildren/ 4 children. She does £100 per grandchildren and £100 per child and £100 for each SIL and DIL. I personally think it's too much, I don't need her to spend that much on the kids. I had mine last so assume the older grandchildren got a bit more when they were younger but this doesn't bother me in the slightest!

oldmoaner · 12/12/2025 19:11

I think a good idea is work out how much you can afford to save each week or month without struggling. Save it in maybe a separate bank account then work out IF you have say 4 or 5 GC to buy for, how much would it work out each, with other presents you have to buy. If still only got 2 GC spend a bit less because prices go up every year, so eventually you won't get as much for your money and if more to buy for you will struggle. Any left over after you've got presents, leave in the account for following year. (Incase extra to buy for)
Personally I think 150 is far too much for under 16s, I spend 100 on older ones or give them gift vouchers plus a small present to open Christmas morning.

DaisyDaisy133 · 12/12/2025 19:15

way2serious · 12/12/2025 10:42

We’ve currently got 2 grandchildren (from our eldest daughter) on whom we spend about £150 each. So firstly is this too much / not enough / about right? And secondly, we have four other children and so very likely to have more grandchildren in the next few years. We want to be as fair as possible and would need to decrease our spending for each child to ensure they all had the same amount as we couldn’t afford £150 each for more than 2. This obviously means that the first two will have had more for a few years. Do we need to make this up to the others or just lower the amount for all of them?

I hope that makes sense - I know I am probably overthinking things!! How have you managed what you spend as the number of grandchildren increases?

Our daughter and son have 4 children each (sons 2 eldest are step children). Ages range from 3 to 19. We give them all £100 each at Christmas and £100 each for their birthdays.

Bellyblueboy · 12/12/2025 19:16

OP people get a bit weird over spend on Christmas presents.

in my view, it is a very personal thing and is dependent on what you want to spend, what you can afford to spend and what your children are comfortable with their children being gifted.

If you can’t afford this level of spend for more than two grandchildren I agree you should reign it in now.

however there is no universal right or wrong level of spend on Christmas. Despite what people will preach here,

Beentheretoolong · 12/12/2025 19:17

It depends what you can afford really! My parents save through the year and spend the same amount on me, my brother, our spouses and the 3 grandchildren and it is about £150 each. My MIL has 4 children, 10 grandchildren, a great grandchild and is on pension credit so spends considerably less and mostly on the grandchildren. Both sides spend what they can afford and we are all grateful for what we get.

PloddingAlong21 · 12/12/2025 19:22

My mum and my MIL spend more than this. They can’t help themselves (also can afford to).

Personally think it’s less about how much and more about affordability.

£150 to one person is loads and to another not. Never get yourself in any sort of debt. If that’s a stretch then cut back now and don’t set a precedent.

Larymarylary · 12/12/2025 19:22

I spend £50 on each of my five grandchildren. I couldn’t afford more than that.i think £150 is a ridiculous amount.

YourLoyalPlumOP · 12/12/2025 19:25

way2serious · 12/12/2025 10:42

We’ve currently got 2 grandchildren (from our eldest daughter) on whom we spend about £150 each. So firstly is this too much / not enough / about right? And secondly, we have four other children and so very likely to have more grandchildren in the next few years. We want to be as fair as possible and would need to decrease our spending for each child to ensure they all had the same amount as we couldn’t afford £150 each for more than 2. This obviously means that the first two will have had more for a few years. Do we need to make this up to the others or just lower the amount for all of them?

I hope that makes sense - I know I am probably overthinking things!! How have you managed what you spend as the number of grandchildren increases?

Honestly. My mum was like this

but even as teens they don’t even notice unless of course one got 3 laptops tablets and a car and the other got a bar of chocolate.

kids don’t care. They won’t know till they’re about 8 anyway. Go for it for now I say

SeaUrchinHat · 12/12/2025 19:27

As to managing, I've always only spent what is comfortably affordable and put into their savings Christmas and birthdays. What's the point of buying a shed load of plastic they neither want or need. It's up to their parents to buy the main gifts

This is the best ever gift a grandparent (or parent) can make. Beats adding to the pile of ‘stuff’ by miles.

MrsJeanLuc · 12/12/2025 19:30

This obviously means that the first two will have had more for a few years. Do we need to make this up to the others or just lower the amount for all of them?

OMG the things people find to worry about! Yes @way2serious you are waayy overthinking this.

£150 is a ridiculous amount to spend on children so young - they aren't going to know or appreciate it. So who are you buying for? Yourself? or your children?

Looking forwards to the huge brood of grandchildren you anticipate, what's important is not how much money you spend, but buying something that is relevant to each child, something that will please them / challenge them / help them in some way.