spending on grandchildren at Christmas

[way2serious]

We’ve currently got 2 grandchildren (from our eldest daughter) on whom we spend about £150 each. So firstly is this too much / not enough / about right? And secondly, we have four other children and so very likely to have more grandchildren in the next few years. We want to be as fair as possible and would need to decrease our spending for each child to ensure they all had the same amount as we couldn’t afford £150 each for more than 2. This obviously means that the first two will have had more for a few years. Do we need to make this up to the others or just lower the amount for all of them?

I hope that makes sense - I know I am probably overthinking things!! How have you managed what you spend as the number of grandchildren increases?

The best thing you can do for your grandchildren is to open a S&S Isa and contribute regularly. This will grow and be a wonderful gift when they are 18. We bought small gifts when they were tiny, they got so much from other family members and invested £30 per month. This has grown to 12k by 18, enough to ease uni journey, pay for driving lessons and even a small car.

This. Your GC won’t remember the outfits, toys or sweets. They will definitely remember and appreciate the cash when they’re older. I’d buy one token toy and then save the rest.

£150 is more than I spend on my kids.

I know grandparents like to 'spoil' grand kids but be careful it can really get annoying and rub parents up the wrong way stepping on their toes and trying to 'out do' the rest of Christmas.

My mam was always a generous woman and loved Christmas and always did everything 'bigger and better' but we butted head more than once over Christmas and her overstepping boundaries (especially the year she spent a small fortune on a huge death trap trampoline when we had specifically already said 'hell no' to the suggestion months earlier - she reluctantly sent it back after we refused to accept it).

Honestly I would do 1/4th - 1/3rd of that amount, so £40-£50 per child which is still more than enough and a nice big gift amount.

You sound like a lovely grandma
It's kind of like your own kids i guess
When you have 1, you might spend more, then another comes along, then its a bit less etc
Certainly don't worry about what you already spent on them.
I spent far more on my daughter than my son, it was just me.and her for years.
But now there's 2, time is shared, money is shared.
Maybe, budget £50 for older ones and £30 for younger ones, older ones always need more.
Obviously depends on your income and what u are happy with. I hope your children and grandchildren appreciate you.

My parents have 8 grandchildren and spend about 25 each. Thats fine.

Way too much and at that age surely they'd get overwhelmed with so many presents, no doubt they get plenty from their parents too. Kids that age really don't need much

I don't spend that much on my own children, who are similar ages to your grandchildren, and also have lots of aunties and uncles and other grandparents. It would be too many presents to get at once and they wouldn't be able to notice and appreciate each one. None of their grandparents are short of money (though one set has 8 grandchildren) but I think they all buy one thing for about £20-25. Sometimes more if there's a very specific 'big present' request like contributions to a new bike, but no-one is really counting.

My parents also put money into their grandchildren's JISAs every year, which my kids are too young to really know about yet.

Cut it back why they are still young and won't notice you could easily end up with 10+ grandkids depending on how many kids you have. I don't have grandkids yet but I think £50 is a nice amount. My parents spend about £30 per kid

£150 seems rather a lot, and not necessary!

As others have said, start as you mean to go on. There are six of us in my main friendship group, women in our 30s. When the first baby in the group turned one, one of the girls asked us if we all wanted to put a tenner in to buy the baby a present “from all of us.” I got in there first and said no, I don’t want to get into this. As if we do it for one, we’ll have to do it for all future babies. And when does it end, when they’re 18? And others agreed with me. And I’m glad because now between the six of us, we have eight children. So that sort of averages out one birthday every month and a half, and I couldn’t be arsed putting a tenner in that often, and us faffing about taking turns choosing the gift and buying it etc.
I know my story there is actually really unrelated to your post, I don’t know why I thought of it linking, but halfway through typing I thought “well I’ve started so may as well finish.” 🤣
Im obviously not suggesting you don’t buy presents for your grandchildren, but just keep the cost way down from now!

What uou spend or wabnt to spend is your decision and nothing to do with Anyone else. More importantly does your spend provide the child with what they would like? If so you've cracked it. The spend for each child does not have to be equal either just as long as it provides what they would like.

I would spend the maximum of £100 per child for birthday and Christmas per year. I would also spend more on the birthday. so for Christmas say £30 main present £10 novelties and £60 for a main gift and clothes for birthdays and so on. id probably spend far less than that in reality and take them for days out as well.

im not a grandparent yet but the one thing that wold have been amazing when my child was young would have been older generations noticing how broke I was and buying a nice main gift but the rest given to me as money to buy clothes throughout the year and bits of food. I’m sure your DD is not in my situation but I had to forego meals and so on to keep my child fed and clothed all year especially when an emergency item was needed like unexpected school trip money and so on.

I only have one DGC and have spent £80 this Christmas.

My mil spends around £160 on each gc at xmas. But she only has 4gc and this is unlikely to increase. Tbf when they were under 7 it was annoying as it meant loads of extra “stuff” that we needed to find space for 😂
Her intentions are good with it. I think its because she couldn’t really do any childcare when they were younger or any school pick ups now.
I have told my mil that she really doesn’t need to spend this much but she won’t listen but at least now my children are 9 and 14yo she will do part gift part money.
I would reduce the amount tbh, its a lovely of you but could get unmanageable with more gc

Spending £150 on such young kids is a bit ridiculous really unless their parents aren’t particularly well off and so you are making up the budget/getting things they can’t afford

£50 is more than enough

£100 for teenagers maybe if there is something they want - think driving lessons or a TV etc

I think there are some variables involved here. My MIL used to spend £200 per GC where as my DM would spend £20 per child. This worked for each of them according to what they could afford. I probably spent £4-500 each on my adult children but those are the only presents I buy. We no longer buy for nieces and nephews, our DP are long gone and we have agreements with friends that we no longer give to one another.

I’ve spent £40-50 each on 3 Gdcs, 10, 9, 5. I will probably also give them around £20 each cash, but we are putting fairly substantial amounts every year into junior S&S ISAs for them, which IMO is a better place to put it.

My parents spend around £30 on each of my children at Christmas.
My in laws buy them a token gift, something small to unwrap and then they put £50 into their bank accounts.
My parents have 12 grandchildren between them as we’re a blended family so there is absolutely no way they would spend more then around £30 on each of the children as they are treated all the same.
In laws only have 5 grandchildren which is why they are able to do slightly more but they certainly wouldn’t spend that on a present and rather put money away for them.

My MIL has lots of DGCs, and she buys each of them a thoughtful, well-chosen book every year. So, approx £10 per gift. It might be about their hobby, or part of a book series they like, or a board book for younger ones.

Such a good idea, and I plan to do the same when I have DGCs!!

I have 3 grandchildren and spend between £40 and £50 on each one.
I will most likely have more grandchildren in the future, so I chose an amount that took this into account.

My dad tells the kids they can choose something worth £50 (and he is well off so I think you are overspendign!

also, most presents end up in landfill, how about a fun gift plus money into savings.

I have 3 GDs …unlikely to have any more….I spend about 75 on each of them in gifts to open……then I take them to a show ( Matilda this year) with tea out and ice creams etc…. I also take them shopping early december and buy them Xmas pjs and a Xmas outfit each

We tend not to have a budget, we don’t want to outdo parents but spend varies depending on what they need. Last summer gc got play equipment for the garden as a late Xmas but at the appropriate point. Always a book to open, something small toy and whatever his parents deem needed and appropriate. Having too many hard and fast limits just causes a problem when you have a good reason to break them.

Depends what you can afford. Ive got 4 kids, they all have.a partner, eight GC. So 16 to buy for and budget is £100 to £125 each. I didn't think ahead so we are where we are. I save all year.

My Mum and her husband would spend a similar amount on my kids but they are the only grandchildren (I have 2 children). My Dad and his wife have a total of 8 grandchildren so spend £50 each. I’m sure theirs has decreased as the grandchildren increase but they spend what they can afford. They got my kids some lovely presents this Christmas, they asked me for ideas. The kids loved them all and it was great. My kids were some of the youngest grandchildren if that makes a difference.
I think it is totally acceptable to spend what you want to, if you can afford it. I also think that it is ok that as the family changes, so does the budget.

Part or all of my presents for GC is money in savings accounts.