spending on grandchildren at Christmas

[way2serious]

We’ve currently got 2 grandchildren (from our eldest daughter) on whom we spend about £150 each. So firstly is this too much / not enough / about right? And secondly, we have four other children and so very likely to have more grandchildren in the next few years. We want to be as fair as possible and would need to decrease our spending for each child to ensure they all had the same amount as we couldn’t afford £150 each for more than 2. This obviously means that the first two will have had more for a few years. Do we need to make this up to the others or just lower the amount for all of them?

I hope that makes sense - I know I am probably overthinking things!! How have you managed what you spend as the number of grandchildren increases?

We only spend about £10 per child (4 grandkids) but we do also pay for visits to a pantomime, zoo membership, soft play etc and provide a few days childcare a week in the holidays - and that stuff adds up.

My kids are grandchildren no 4 and 7 on my side and 3 and 4 on my husbands side. It's fair to say there is a quite an earning disparity between the siblings (mix of birth siblings and step-siblings) on my side. My step-Dad died just after my youngest was born and I can well imagine that prior to that significantly more was likely spent on presents for grandchildren than happens now, and there were less grandchildren at that point as 3 were born in the year he died. By that I mean he was a generous spender, paid for swimming lessons and things for the older grand children, cash would burn a hole in his pocket. Subsequent to his passing my Mum has fairly routinely spent £50 on each grandchild at Christmas and birthdays, I think that's the best approach. In recent times as she's aged she gives me cash and I've done the shopping for her. That much buys a pretty generous gift. We don't live in the same country as my in-laws so they put cash in my husbands account and we buy the presents, and I tend to stick to a £50 spend from them too, otherwise I simply can't think of enough things to buy.

I dont think its necessary that you spend the same one everyone each year. Kids wish for different stuff when they get bigger. DS for example wished for a £20 merch item from one of his favourite youtubers this year. Last year he got something for £150. My DD is the other way around. Big wish this year and last year got something cheap she really wanted 🤷🏻‍♀️ Until they are teens they wont know the monetary value and something they really wish for is much more valuable to them than something expensive..

I love all my GC but the number of them is in double figures, so IMO £150 each would bankrupt me and leave nothing for birthdays, special treats, days out, etc.
Regarding "making up back pay" for subsequent GC, will you stop spending so much when the older ones get to 18? If so, there's your chance to enable the younger ones not to miss out.
You sound like caring grandparents - be as lavish with your time as you are with your £££ and you will reap the rewards!

Far too much. At their current ages you can spend £20 and they would still get something nice.

So our kids have grandparents who go about presents in completely different ways!

My parents spend about £20-25 and get them one thing. They usually ask us for an idea or a theme around what the kids want. Our kids enjoy their one thing and play with it lots.

DH's parents buy them anywhere between 7-15 presents each, don't ask us what the kids want and spend probably £100 each. Of all these gifts one or two might be a surprise hit that the kids enjoy a lot, but then the other things are not age appropriate or not something they're into (think TellyTubbies themed when they've never watched that before, but my nephews did so that's probably where they got the idea from).

So our kids actually end up with the same amount of meaningful gifts but there's a vast difference in spending and number. When they were younger I worried a bit that they'd question why they get so many more gifts from one side, but age 4 and 9 and so far it's never been something they've spoken about, and they certainly never complain about only having one gift from my parents.

Honestly OP, I'd save your money and the stress of shopping and just ask what your grandchildren would appreciate. Keep it relatively low key cost wise, as you've already recognised in future if you end up with more it's harder to show equity amongst an increasing number of children!

I have 7 wonderful grandchildren. I spend approximately £70/£75 on each of them for Christmas.

Granny here and I think it’s too much and difficult to continue if you then have multiple grandchildren.
I spend a relatively small amount on gifts but like to treat to activities a couple of times a year, panto and meal around Xmas, trip to local acitivity in the summer holidays. That will tail off as the older grandchildren won’t want to join in over 16 and that makes it more sustainable longer term, and fair.

My friend does this . She has 8 to buy for and each child gets new pyjamas and a small selection box . She never deviates , that’s what they get and the parents know they don’t need to buy PJ’s for the kids .

It’s too much; it’s more than most parents would spend on their own very young children, and risks looking like grandstanding. That sort of excess is often not received in the way you intend it, unfortunately. I’d stick to a max of £50 per child, which is loads for a grandparent’s present.

That sounds like a lot to me, but of course it entirely depends on your circumstances.

I do think it depends. What your finances allow for a start. And how much these GC are in your lives. If they are kids you see eery day and have a real bond with, it is less shocking to hear that you are spending a lot on them than if they are the 'Christmas and Easter relatives'.
I'll throw it out there - it may not always be 'even' if there are more GC. The relationships may not be even.

That’s actually a lot of money to be spending on anyone let alone grandchildren. It’s not just about the acquisition of ‘More Stuff’ but the message that you’re giving them.

I remember one year my nephew was more interested in the boxes that everything came in than what was inside them. Something really thoughtful but inexpensive is going to be far better than 150 quids worth of stuff that they will eventually grow out of / get bored with. Maybe a theatre/panto/museum/farm trip that they’ll remember having fun at?

My parents spent about £50 per child ( 5 grandchildren in total )
As the grandchildren got older they increased that a little .
Some other mums said that was a lot , but I needed to remind those mums that their parents took the grandchildren away for days out / lunches / holidays / paid for some of their children’s extra activities/ bought them clothes and shoes etc .
My parents never looked after my children and didn’t pay for anything other than a Christmas gift and a small birthday gift each .

Seens an awful lot to me. I spend around thirty. Partly depends how many other relatives buy for them I think. I am intrigued as to what you buy them for 150 each unless we are in the age of new bikes and laptops. If I had that much to spend I think I would still spend around thirty to fifty and save the rest for the future for them.

My father asked us to set up a CTF/JISA for each of our children when they were born. He then put in £50 a month from 0-18 years and I invested it in US Tracker funds.
He then only got them a selection box for Christmas, they got loads from us and they understood/ weren't bothered.
They are now in Uni without student loans, so pretty happy end result.
Appreciate not all pensioners can afford £600 p.a. per grandchild, but rather than spending very much on a child, save it for them and they will remember you fondly later on a trip of a lifetime or leaving uni with less debt.

We set a budget of £250 each for our two grown up sons and now that we have 2 grandsons, they also have a budget of £250. The grandchildren get a couple of toys, an outfit or trainers and the rest I give in cash which goes into their savings account.
We aren’t likely to have any more grandchildren so will probably stick to this amount for as long s we can.

£50 is plenty for a gift - most kids get so much it's too overwhelming. If you want to give them more, give it to the parents to put in their savings accounts x

I have 18 grand children and 3 great grand children when the first grandchild was born I still had a 6 and 7 year old at home so only spent £20 per child from day one. I only buy until their 18th birthday which makes it a bit easier every year. However with my youngest grand child only 5 months old I have a good few years ahead of buying for grand children . I think I decided right at the start I may have a few grand children and didn't want to start something I couldn't continue with xxx

Now i can understand why so many parents on here only buy there kids 2 or 3 presents they're just letting grandparents do it along with full time childcare does anyone actually raise there own children anymore

That's a lot! Maybe time to reduce it with more GC coming. Xx

My MiL spends £30 on each and they are very happy with that.

That is far too much to spend on Christmas presents! £20-30, surely will still buy an amazing set of presents?!

This is the same sort of principle we have applied to nieces and nephews, but I must say I’ve noticed this year with inflation it’s become increasingly difficult to get anything main for under £20 for any but the younger ones. We’ve had to go to more like under £30.

Carry on as you are is my advice and worry only when you need to. Personality though, I would focus less on a 'set amount' and just get them a nice pressie that they've asked for