Boy moms I need to know whats normal and what's not

[MommaBH]

Boy moms, I have 2 boys , 4 and 2, 21 months apart...

Life is 70% UTTER CHOAS
I don't know if it's me, it's normal behaviour or what but i am stressed out 8/10 when with both boys at once....
Am I overstimulating them ?!

Today.... 🎄 up....
Started off lovely ,ended in CARNAGE, 2 year old tore tree down, 4 decorations broken, one where glitter was thrown everywhere....2 Wild crazy overstimulated boys...

Life is often like this, is this normal?!
Does it get easier?!

I'm stressed all the time

So much anger over a vowel.

I have a DS (9) and a DD (6). My DD has suspected ADHD and is renowned for breaking things as she flings herself around and has generally higher levels of energy, whereas my DS is much more controlled. Of course when they are in the mood (usually close to bedtime) it’s absolute carnage as they play fight and leap around the house! Agree with many other posters - try and get out so they can let off steam every day!

Oh bless you. I’m so glad you managed this with your own kids. Like many, you believe that your amazing parenting meant you had compliant kids. I can assure you this is not always the case.

My two I ruled with an iron fist - routine, consequences, no sugar, no screens… they were still utterly mental until they were about 6. Some kids just are. We didn’t eat out or go to people’s houses or do ‘fun’ stuff like tree day (i’d do the tree whilst dad took them to park and swimming and endless running around to wear them out) for years. They’re older and calmer now.

OP it will get better but parent the kids you have not the ones you expected. If your kids are nutcases, take them to the park, take them to climb trees, soft play, trampolines. Messy play, water play, baking. Not structured activities where they have to be compliant and not break stuff x

Luckily not at my house 😅 at play groups

Lower your expectations and standards. It's any child/toddler. They don't know better. But that's how they learn. One experience at the time. At this age, life is an adventure and their needs are selfish and that's quite normal. Having eyes at the back of your head, assessing every possible situation and sleeping with one eye open are skills all parents learn as their children grow. Chose your battles. Use more child friendly &cheap (plastic) decorations that it won't matter too much if they break. In a few years you'll be sailing this parenting thing. Good luck x

Yes, that's where it belongs
We went to 'Messy Church' this weekend (I help at it) and it was very nice to step away from the glitter at the end. I did have rather a lot on me though.

We’ve got 2 sons, they never behaved like that.

We know have a 23mth old DGS, he doesn’t behave like that either. If he misbehaves he gets consequences. He knows he can’t touch the Christmas tree. He has a little one, that’s his, that he’s allowed to touch.

That’s been my experience too @Yourethebeerthief . People close enough to me that they can speak unguardedly say the same- at least until teenage, girls are less hard work at least in a physical sense. In the 90s I worked in a Romanian orphanage where kids had often been abandoned as babies and then got perfunctory care at best from staff. The boys would play more energetically, pick up toys that looked like tools , hammer stuff, run around while girls were happy with less mobile play. Obviously there are exceptions and overlap but I don’t believe it’s all down to culture.

@TheGander Gosh, that work must have been heart wrenching. I hope you saw some glimmers of hope during your time there.

My girls were busy one cheekier than the other and I can remember at just turned 2 one being a nightmare with the tree. My boy into everything and did not stop unless there was a screen/book. Once around 3 could sit and colour and play with entertaining happily. Also loved school. Some boys need more sport etc than others. I think having 2 boys together can mean they bounce off each other. Definitely need boundaries etc.