Boy moms I need to know whats normal and what's not

[MommaBH]

Boy moms, I have 2 boys , 4 and 2, 21 months apart...

Life is 70% UTTER CHOAS
I don't know if it's me, it's normal behaviour or what but i am stressed out 8/10 when with both boys at once....
Am I overstimulating them ?!

Today.... 🎄 up....
Started off lovely ,ended in CARNAGE, 2 year old tore tree down, 4 decorations broken, one where glitter was thrown everywhere....2 Wild crazy overstimulated boys...

Life is often like this, is this normal?!
Does it get easier?!

I'm stressed all the time

Mums of girls (understandably) get annoyed by the suggestion that they've got an easy ride. And obviously people vary. But my experience is that girls (including Nd girls) are much more likely to be able to sit and listen to instructions and engage with things. And as other posters have said, boy or girl aside, some kids are harder than others

My ADHD son (now grown up alpha and outdoorsy) wasn’t feral and didn’t need ‘exercising like a dog’. He played in the garden and round the house the same way as his sisters. I do truly believe that most behaviour is down parenting. The adults set the expectations and discipline accordingly.

And yes even at 2! (At what point do you start if you ask stupid questions like that?) ‘discipline’ doesn’t mean six rounds of the cane. We are not Victorians. Discipline means voicing to the child in an age appropriate way, what is expected. If these meet those expectations - however small - you praise, kiss, cuddle. If they don’t, you don’t. You hold their hand and teach them or show them how to put it right. You also need to model behaviour - so agreeing to disagree, not being on a phone constantly, sharing tasks with your partner, being kind and caring etc. Children become what they grow up around.

If my kids had destroyed the Christmas decorations and wrecked the living room they would’ve got a severe telling off and they would know they'd ‘disappointed’ mummy to the point that they’d not want to repeat the experience.

Mum of 3 boys and 2 girls. None would engage in that kind of behaviour. Or they would once and not again. It’s a boundaries setting problem. I’ve seen parents of both sexes let their kids run feral at your kids ages and no it doesn’t get better unless you make it better. Let them
know that they cannot do this kind of thing!

Boys are wild 🤣 I have one of each (7 year old boy and 2 year old girl) and they are completely different!! My eldest was forever climbing, running and just generally chaotic 🙈 still is at 7…climbs trees constantly, forever muddy and soaking….but happy and such a sweet and kind wee boy. The chaos hasn’t left us an I don’t think it will 🙈

I would also like to mention he has suspected ADHD with ASD traits.

Has anyone considered that maybe it's not that our expectations of boys are necessarily too low but that our expectations of girls are too high?

If children are allowed to get any more annoying the birth rate is going to fall into the negatives

I treat mine much like dogs. Get them outside as much as possible to get all their crazy out. They start bouncing off the walls otherwise.

Personally I find almost all children much less annoying than most adults.

Good for you but plenty of people disagree and there is a reason fewer and fewer couples want to introduce this malestrom I to their lives.

100% agree

I have three boys now 25, 21 and 21 and I really hate the sexist stereotyping

If they are hyper
is it because they are excited about Christmas
Are they eating stuff that could make them overstimulated

Up to them, really. Of course people shouldn't have kids unless they want them.

In reality, though, most people think they're going to be great parents and have angelic kids before their children actually arrive so I'm not sure badly-behaved children are really a big deterrence.

I used to look at the rowdy ones and judge and think "There's absolutely no way my future kids will ever behave like that" 😂. I miss those imaginary kids.

If you think that depopulation is a problem (I don't really but most people disagree and tbf I'll likely be dead of old age before the consequences really kick in) then you should pause to think why are fewer people having them. Imo the answer is that children are not prevented from being absolutely terrible company as they used to be. In the UK, anyway.

There are lots of reasons why people are having fewer children (COL, house prices, other options, increased demands of parenting) but children behaving badly isn't really a major factor imo.

Miaow! I’m educated to masters degree level and speak 3 languages. One son went to grammar school with no tutoring. The other is doing a degree in philosophy. Not being right on does not equate to being unintelligent. HTH 💋

Ha,ha! Completely normal! I have 5 sons less than 5 years oldest-youngest. Out lives were utter chaos!

what consequences would you suggest for a 2 year old??????

Asking this question is wild to me. At two my child threw sand at a child in the park. I took him aside, told him why we don’t do that, and warned him if he did it again he wouldn’t get to play in the sand. He did it again so he was removed from the sand and we went elsewhere to play. He cried, I reiterated in very simple terms why we don’t throw sand. He never did it again.

Why wouldn’t you have consequences for a 2 year old? They’re not 4 months old with no understanding of why they bonked you on the head with a rattle or grabbed your hair and didn’t let go. They’re 2.

Well said. If you can’t give a 2 year old consequences then what age would you be able to? Probably never, hence the feral kids

This. It shows a lack of discipline rather than typical boy behaviour. But, yes if you can set boundaries now, it gets so much easier as kids get older.

Yes it will get easier, because this time next year,you will have a 5 and 3 year old. You will also have 12 months more experience under your belt. You'll all learn along the way about how to live together. They do inherently want to please you and do as you say. It's just they can't always manage it due to their immaturity. You can do it. It's one of the most stressful times of the year right now, they're tired, you're stressed. Allow yourselves days after crimbo when you are doing the activities that keep you all the calmest. Good luck

Mine are 3 and 5 and can be quite wild. Christmas is hyping them up for sure. But they are like dogs. They have to be exercised. Every day. Without fail. We’ve done the decs today and whilst they were excited and both have spent some time on the bottom step (mainly for fighting) today they haven’t stripped the decs or anything. It’s excitement that over flows into daft behaviour.

what consequences were there?

I have two boys with that age gap and I would never have let them behave like that. So no, it’s not a boy thing. Mine are pretty roughty toughty outdoor farm kids who play a lot of sports, and yes they have always needed a lot of time outside and exercise, but bad behaviour like ‘tearing a Christmas tree down’ aged 2 (or any age) would absolutely not have been tolerated. My boys are teen/tween ages now and are (mostly) polite and well behaved boys, because I won’t allow them to speak rudely or just do as they please - there are consequences in place for thoughtless or unkind behaviour and there always has been. Thankfully I rarely have to use those consequences as they know the rules and stick to them most of the time.

It’s the age not the fact they are boys. My DS is 10 and was the same at that age. He is loads of fun now and helped do the tree!

im saying all children need teaching how to behave. Ive had 5 and have 15 grandchildren and none of them have ever behaved like that .

Wh my children were small i always put the tree and decorations up when they were in bed. They have severe autism so weren’t interested in decorating it anyway. But they loved it when they got up and seen all the decorations up.