Thing people do at Christmas that seem helpful to the Christmas Host but actually really aren’t?

[Talkingtomyhouseplants]

I’ll start

• Bringing something to contribute to the day without checking with the host what is wanted/needed first. Results in additional unnecessary work for the host who has had to cover that item because they didn’t know it was going to be brought and food that doesn’t necessarily match the rest of the menu but people feel obliged to eat anyway
• On a similar note, people asking what they should bring about 3 days before the big day - this is a BIL special - no thanks my big shop has already arrived and we’re all sorted now.
• People who clear up in the kitchen but put things away in the wrong places rather than just leaving them dry, neatly, on the side.

What else?

When my children were little... either saying presents were from Santa or giving me things to put in their stockings (wrapped). I admit this may have been control freaky... but their stockings were carefully balanced as they would open things together, they had individual Santa wrapping paper... d I liked to keep the Santa bit separate to the Family bit as I had told them that Santa only brought one present and the stocking. (The wrapping paper was so I could have a bag of wrapped gifts that was easy to split into the stockings without need for labels)

Starting a tickle fight just before we sit down to eat Christmas dinner

Oh that is annoying - my mum always had special Santa wrapping paper too…MIL got around it by not wrapping stocking presents 🤣 you don’t mess with a family’s version of Santa though!

Being an extra body standing around in the kitchen trying to chat with the cooks and always being in the way of the cupboard or fridge that need to be opened and never offering to help!

Standing in an already busy kitchen bleating "can i help?" repeatedly. And if you give them a task, being hopeless and asking 65 million questions, and a commentary on how they don't do it like this and then wandering off after half completing said task.

Anyone coming in my kitchen and trying to help with the cooking does my swede in.

When I'm doing a roast I've got everything timed perfectly and know exactly when things need doing. Cooking is my happy place, well meaning people trying to be helpful elbowing in and saying "ooh let me get on with the carrots love!" completely throw off my groove and make me irrationally angry 🙃

I guess mine is not only specifically during Christmas but yes, putting toys away wherever they pleased to do so😂 i have a best friend with 3 boys, similar age to my boy, its always armagedon after they visit but i dont mind cleaning the toys! I even like it cause have a chance of sorting them out and i am glad boys have fun, but my friend insist on teaching her boys to be helpful and not to leave everything like that and then just go…so they just put them away…everywhere they can without sorting and i have to take them all out and re-do it all🫣

I remember a friend whose job it was to bring a cauliflower cheese, bringing a cauliflower, a block of cheese, milk, flour and butter and putting them on the side!

Ooh I have another - the fancy cocktail makers. Starts at totally inappropriate time eg just as ii am hoping to serve up or when trying to clear or at breakfast - and offers to make hugely complex cocktails, and then starts demanding "where are the cherries/bitters/limes/shaker/crushed ice" and getting all the things they "need" out of the cupboards.

Ah you know my brother!

once tasked with bringing “a cake” and brought a packet mix. Didn’t even bring the eggs.

Refuse to join in a game of trivia pursuit but then randomly shout out answers to be “helpful”

One year I asked my brother to bring crackers. He brought cream crackers. Next year I asked specifically for Christmas crackers. He brought a Christmas themed box of Jacons crackers. I should point out that at no point have we been a cheesy family, cheese does not feature in Christmas day at all and both times I said "the sort you pull." The year after he brought 6 crackers, so less than one each. I've asked for fizzy pop for the kids - he's brought prosecco.

Tutting every time a present is opened by the dc and muttering that in my day all the dc made do with 1 present between them

Insisting on being gluten free, (which means me jumping through hoops to serve themselves first a nice meal) and then just having a bite of the ordinary mince pies ‘as they look so much nicer’ than the gf ones I bought

Asking how can I help every 10 mins but then asking for step by step instructions if given a job and then leaving everything a mess and everywhere after having tried and failed to do said job

Coming downstairs late to present opening (after having agreed it the night before) so that all the dc are sat there waiting…and then present giving runs into my cooking time so I miss some of it when I have to get lunch started

Asking for a cooked breakfast when I had fancy baked goods planned and bought

sorry. Not as light hearted as I was intending to be..

This is me too! Our kitchen isn’t big enough to have people in the way, anyone who’s there will inevitably be right in front of the fridge/cupboard/drawer I need to get to. So I mostly keep them out. Also have timings all worked out, stuck with a magnet to the front of the fridge, where they won’t disappear or have anything spilt on them.

After dinner is a different matter - I don’t do any clearing up - that’s all down to dh and everybody else, while I chill on the sofa with chocolates.

Offering to bring a dessert then whipping the cream, chopping fruit, adding alcohol and displaying while you are trying to cook the Christmas dinner, and getting in your way the whole time - where’s the whisk - where’s the nearest plug, where’s the sieve, the knives, the cutlery, the cake stand, the brandy?
Then displaying it as the highlight of the whole meal with a big “ta-da”!!

Ohhh this is my kind of thread 🤣

I don't mind people bringing things unexpectedly but if they expect any of my oven space to heat it up, hahahaha. The microwave is free, go for your life. 🤣

(If they ask what to bring after the shopping has already been done, the answer is always booze. Then you can put yours away for new year!)

The messing with Santa thing - absolutely grinds my gears. When my eldest was little my MIL announced "Santa came to my house for you too!" and I whizzed in straight away with "no he didn't, silly MIL, Santa only comes where there's children!" afterwards I had to painstakingly explain how annoying confusing it would be to complicate things like that... she got it, eventually. 🤣

I've got a relative that insists on helping with the washing up, but they do it so grimly without changing any water or rinsing that I have to make a mental note and then rewash later.

All of these are making my blood boil...
Don't bring anything that needs preparing. If I am hosting you bring wine, crisps, crackers, whatever. Don't put things way in the wrong cupboards. And if you live in the house, you should be helping, not messing about in the living room.

Insisting that gift opening can't happen unless I am in the room- having arrived just at a critical point in the cooking and handed DC huge bags of presents ('Look what Santa left at my house!!!'). Declining the invitation to just go ahead without me on the basis that it wouldn't be fair for me to miss out, and there's a gift for me too. Then coming in to the kitchen every 2 minutes to ask if I'm ready yet and couldn't I just come in so we can open one present each. Repeated each time I go to the kitchen to make sure dinner is cooking and not burning.

See also- bringing (unrequested) food that needs to be put in the fridge and insisting that it must be put in immediately even though you can see I am juggling several hot dishes of food and the fridge is already full. Extra irritating points if accompanied by comments about how much food there is and surely we can't possibly eat all of that (yes, we can and we will).

Answering any question about what you would like to eat/drink with 'whatever's easiest' or 'whatever you're having', then questioning/complaining about whatever you're given.

It sounds like you have all entertained my mother in law before.

What really gets me though is the constant "is it ready yet?" enquiries, but when we're actually ready to sit down and eat none of them bloody come.

Yes, this. Fuck off out of my kitchen; I’m busy.

Not a Christmas thing but DH does this before bedtime if he was home late from work. I know it's guilt he didn't get in on time to spend proper time but it really is so unhelpful.

Turning up late or early. Within 15 minutes of the time you were asked to come please

Bringing food as a hostess gift that needs to be stored in the fridge. My fridge is already chock full

Making any kind of comment on the food that is not positive. If you did not cook just accept what you are given and say thank you.

Bringing something that needs cooking without checking first.

Someone did this to me once at a big party. They bought pizza and then faffed around making me get an oven tray and preheat the oven. The pizza actually got burnt as my 'friend' assumed that I would be in charge of the timing and removing from the oven, all at the same time as welcoming about 50 people, hanging coats, making drinks, etc. He had a strop about it burning. Twat.

Not Christmas but New Year. Bringing a horrible synthetic neon orange dessert called a lampreia, completely flavourless and collapsed in a sloppy heap. Then expecting everyone to a) ooh and ahh and b) actually eat the thing