Traditions we avoided

[ImALargeAbsentMindedSpirit]

Can’t do anything about it now but just wondering how others view what we did as parents. Are we the only ones that didn’t do these things? Purely selfish reasons as they all seemed like more effort than was necessary at an already manic time. We never did elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, stockings, visiting Santa or leaving anything for him or his reindeer, footprints etc. Gifts are from the people that bought them, no gifts from Father Christmas he is just the delivery guy, Christmas Eve church service, buying teachers gifts.

Have your adult kids expressed any view on it?

For me, I really dislike the idea of Father Christmas as the ' delivery guy'. There's nothing exciting about someone from Amazon or Evri dropping off a parcel. However, I think you have to do what you can manage and what suits your family the best. We do some of the things you list (stockings, visit to Father Christmas etc), but leave out others. I'm sure your children enjoyed their Christmas time and in the end that's what matters.

That’s quite a lot to not do, especially stockings I think. BUT only you know what you could have coped with at Christmas and sometimes something has to give in order to maintain something else (mental health, financial solvency, relationships etc)

also, how old are your children as things like the elf and Christmas Eve boxes are quite new “traditions” I think. I won’t do an elf either, it’s a step too far!

Elf on the shelf and Christmas Eve boxes are comparatively new so I wouldn’t regard them as traditions. I did the last three though.

The fact the op is asking likely indicates one or all her adult children have perhaps expressed less than positive memories

Just do what you do/did, there’s no need to participate in things you don’t enjoy or believe in.

I went through a bit of a phase of not wanting to mention Father Christmas because it felt like lying to DC, but luckily I got talked out of that one. We do leave a mince pie and a whisky for FC and a carrot for the reindeer but that’s quite time limited!

never done Xmas Eve boxes, visits to Santa, the Polar Express, Xmas markets. Not religious so don’t go to church.

Right so what did you do then? Because I have to be honest sounds miserable from your OP.

We don’t do Christmas Eve boxes or elf on the shelf.

We do do letters to Santa, presents from Santa (but
only a few, the rest are from whoever bought them), a stocking and treats for Santa and the reindeer. We do a Santa train ride on the local steam railway and that is really good fun, we do that with cousins and grandparents so it’s a nice event, not just seeing Santa.

We do stockings, but don't do Christmas Eve boxes (this just seems like unnecessary added commercialism for me), Elf on the Shelf is just a hard no for me, my kids have never wanted to visit a Father Christmas (son knew straight away that they weren't the 'real one' so wasn't interested). We aren't religious so don't attend a church service but we do go and watch the local brass band play carols in the village. When I was a child Elf on the Shelf and CE boxes weren't a thing, but my family always had a relatively small Christmas and it honestly never bothered me. My kids are still relatively young (8 and under) but they've never complained about feeling like they're missing out on anything. I think Christmas can be an expensive time of year as it is without adding all these extras on. You can make magical memories for free in other ways.

I think there's a few things on your list that dont take much effort and are quite easy to do. But I don't know your circumstances so I wouldn't reflect badly on you for not doing them.

Exactly the same as you, except I did stockings for them and left out stuff for santa. DD's birthday is Christmas Eve, so I wouldn't have ever done Christmas Eve boxes. I wouldn't have remembered to move the elf if I'd started that!

Stockings and leaving stuff for the reindeer, and to an extend, the Santa visit are all heavily linked.

They're the only three im surprised at not doing. Though we only did the Santa trip....twice? My MIL probably took them a few times too ....

Santa as the delivery guy seems.....cold. We always did gifts under the tree were from us/family and Santa brought the stocking which had...just random stuff in, none of their lists so to say.

The only thing that matters is, how do your children (I'm assuming now adults) feel about it?

Yes elf on the shelf isn't tradition and no chance I will a doing that. Ditto Christmas eve boxes. They get enough without having to do that too. I think we do most actual traditions - carol singing, mice pie for Santa, stockings, Christmas mass, trees, lights etc.

Did your dc get excited about Christmas each year? Do you think they’ll look back on Christmas with fond memories?
I don’t think my dc would have half the excitement and magic they didn’t do things like writing letters to Santa, visiting Santa, seeing Santa’s footprints in the morning. I’ve never done Christmas Eve boxes or the elf though.

The view that matters is that of your children, surely?

What did you do to make Christmas special?

I find it odd to “do” Santa without ever doing a Santa visit, stockings or leaving something out. I realise some people don’t do Santa at all, that makes more sense to me!

Sounds like your kids missed out ….how sad for them

We carried on traditions from our own childhoods, so church on Christmas Eve, stockings (filled by Father Christmas), one visit to FC, and putting out goodies on Christmas Eve. Plus advent calendars. And panto.

No elves, North Pole breakfast, boxes, multiple expensive trips, light displays.

My now adult DC still love an advent calendar.

Our DC are adult and late teen now.
We didn’t do elf on the shelf or footprints but we have always done;
Christmas pyjamas on December 1st alongside advent calendars.
Visit to Father Christmas.
Pantomime or a show.
Christmas Eve hamper with new pyjamas for anyone staying over that night, a candle & treats.
Traditional dinner and drinks with friends and however many of our collective DC that are home every Christmas Eve in a local pub.
We still leave out a carrot and a mince pie before bed on Christmas Eve.
Stockings.

Elf on the Shelf and 1st December/Xmas Eve boxes weren’t a thing when my were little, thank god, but yes we did mince pie for Father Christmas, foot prints in the garden, present for teacher etc and my kids have fond memories of it all.

I was never going to do The Elf.
Until Christmas 2020, seemed like more restrictions everyday and he was grinning at me in Asda and I thought sod it. We need some fun this year.
I never went big on pranks, we just hid him around the house. But it genuinely cheered up a 6&8 year old that year.

They just found that elf in the decorations box... so now I have my 14yo taunting my 12yo with a toy.

Christmas eve "boxes" always amused me as the number if people who would declare they don't go in for stuff like that and just give their children pyjamas, hit chocolate and a film instead... exactly the same stuff in the box!

It sounds a bit joyless @ImALargeAbsentMindedSpirit.

I don't think we went over the top but the DC left out a mince pie and sherry for Santa, we left a sooty footprint, he did bring presents and they were taken to see him. They had stockings, went to the panto, ice skating, church on Christmas morning. Christmas cards for friends, it was lovely. They are grown up now. They still enjoy searching the tree for the ornaments they chose, one each, for about five or six years.

We predated the elf and Christmas Eve boxes. Next Christmas I shall have a grandchild, I shall go with their parents' flow but am sure they will have lovely Christmases.

We still would go to pick the tree and decorate it. There would be the big reveal Christmas morning where all the gifts appeared, Christmas baking, advent calendars, Christmas Eve we always watch A Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart and the muppets Christmas Carol which they still do with us. They have happy memories of Christmas.

@BobblyBobbleHat
"I really dislike the idea of Father Christmas as the ' delivery guy'."

Actually I can see a real benefit here, if you forget to buy someone a present or just chose not to, you can say "Father Christmas has probably delivered it to the wrong house, or chucked it into a hedge somewhere. I'll put a message on FaceBook and hope someone brings it round..."

Same with elf on the shelf Christmas Eve boxes and trips to Santa (went one or two years but the kids dissent react majorly and we couldn’t really afford it anyway), same with pantomime and some Christmas fairs. Oh god ok, so it’s pretty much all money related!!!!

So in that case, what’s the big deal and why are you navel gazing about it this morning? Surely the important people, your children, have happy memories?