Traditions we avoided

[ImALargeAbsentMindedSpirit]

Can’t do anything about it now but just wondering how others view what we did as parents. Are we the only ones that didn’t do these things? Purely selfish reasons as they all seemed like more effort than was necessary at an already manic time. We never did elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, stockings, visiting Santa or leaving anything for him or his reindeer, footprints etc. Gifts are from the people that bought them, no gifts from Father Christmas he is just the delivery guy, Christmas Eve church service, buying teachers gifts.

Were your DC 90's kids? This sounds a lot like my Christmases being born in '93.

Christmas was definitely lovely, my dad cooked a lovely Christmas dinner and my mum got us loads of presents, but we didn't do much other stuff and I remember the tree wouldn't really go up until the start of the school Christmas holidays which would be just a handful of days before the 25th!

I did like it and was also happy at school because we did lots of prep at school, nativity play, lots of crafts, Christmas fair etc which helped to give a build up, but I definitely don't do it that way these days. My tree will be going up today or tomorrow!

We avoided much of what you list because they were not so-called “traditions” until quite recently. I mean Elf in the Shelf, Christmas Eve boxes type things

Over 40 years ago, Father Christmas was "just" the delivery guy in our house when we were growing up. It was still magical and in the Christmas spirit and we never questioned it as kids. I love Christmas to this day. I think it's weird that some people are brought up to believe the presents are from Father Christmas! I was 7 or 8 when I found out the truth. Didn't scar or upset me.

Then your thread is just confusing. You made it sound like you avoided all that stuff completely.

This year I am going all out as I get the inkling my 7 year old has realised Santa isn’t real. My mum died at Christmas 2 years ago so 2023 was written off a bit and last year was hard but I’m really trying this year.

we have:
advent calendars
elf on a shelf (nothing crazy!)
christmas carol concert
Loads of Christmas movies and hot chocolate
Christmas movie at the cinema
christmas markets
crafts
Dressing up our horse and riding out
mince pie and milk for Santa and a carrot for rudolph
we decorate our horses stable and she gets an advent calendar and presents too!

we don’t do:
Christmas boxes
santa visits (son has never liked it but he does like a breakfast with Santa sometimes and we have done a winter wonderland train once or twice)

presents are bought by me and sent to Santa. He knows the value of money and I thought it important because his school has some less fortunate kids who won’t get much so it’s important he knows gifts are bought by family.

we also always do a charity present and buy for the food bank.

I think the magic of Christmas is the run up rather than the day itself.

We didn’t to Elf on the Shelf or Christmas Eve boxes as that wasn’t a thing when ours were young but we did everything else (aside from church). I remember doing those things when I was a child and it was magical. The kids have lovely memories to refer to, especially when we’re speaking to you get family members. It was more about making memories with what we had than spending lots of money. It seems from your second post that you did the same.

My son is 12 now and doesn't believe anymore but we have done some things off your list in previous years.

We did a santa visit (at a local garden centre), leaving carrot/mince pie out, stocking.

We still do a stocking.

We also go to a church service, village lights switch on, party tea and Christmas film on Christmas eve, festive baking. Other things too.

Haven't done elf on the shelf or Christmas eve box.

We don't do elf on a shelf that thing is not coming into my house!
Also don't do 1st December Christmas box or Christmas eve box. Don't do matching pj's, breakfast with santa or a grotto.

We do writing a list to santa, a santa craft class, picking our tree together, stockings from santa along with one small item from the list. We leave out a mince pie and a carrot. We will usually go to a light show as well.

Mine were a bit freaked out by Santa visits so we didn’t do those, we did do stockings and leaving whisky and mince pies out, with a carrot for Rudolf. Our Christmas tradition is watching Home Alone together. I’m not one for those super expensive trips out - didn’t really want to spend the money. My kids appear to love Christmas.

How old are your children, op? Mine are late teens/early 20s and we didn’t do the elf or Christmas Eve boxes either because they weren’t really a widely-known thing back then. I’m someone who would definitely have done them if I’d been aware of the concept so am pretty confident I wasn’t aware- maybe they were more American at that time.

I do think it’s unusual not to do stockings but it sounds as if you had lovely Christmases with plenty of treats and fun. What has prompted you to worry about this?

I’d resist comparing your Christmases with what currently appears as normal on instagram. Even now the vast majority aren’t doing all that, and there is a lot to be said for keeping things simpler with less emphasis on spending and consumption. That’s not a second-best Christmas- quite the reverse.

Neither elf on a shelf nor Christmas Eve boxes were a “thing” when my DC were young, thank heavens! We did go to Church on Christmas Eve, and we’ve always done stockings - this will be the first year I’m not doing them, because none of my DC will be home for Christmas. I’m going to my DS’s, and my DIL has made it clear that she prefers to do her DC’s stockings exclusively herself, so I put any stocking bits under the tree. I do, however, always send something for Advent - it started as just an Advent calendar, but it’s grown a bit for the DGC so they get a few chocs and some Christmas pyjamas and a Christmas decoration as well.

Good question, I suppose with my nieces and nephews children I see more than when mine were younger. We all love Christmas and but time will tell if my children have children and how they will do Christmas.

Thankfully the elf, Christmas eve boxes, December 1st boxes hadn't been invented when mine were little! We decorated the tree together so ours was a riot of colour not a single colour themed tree, we went to see Santa when they were very young but didn't go to markets or pantomime because they didn't like them! Presents under the tree were delivered by Santa but from whoever bought them and the stockings were from Santa.

We didn’t do Elf on a Shelf or Christmas Eve boxes, but they weren’t a thing when my children were small. We had, and still use, a couple of advent calendars though - one of which has 24 small boxes that I put a chocolate coin or similar in.

We also never left food out for Father Christmas or the reindeer. We didn’t make a special effort to visit a Santa’s Grotto, but he sometimes happened to be at something we were already at, eg a school fair

The children had stockings, which Father Christmas filled with small unwrapped presents. All other presents were wrapped and left under the tree, with labels making it clear who they were from.

We did small presents for teachers at primary school (but not secondary) and music teachers.

When the children were younger we used to go to a Christingle service, a carol service and church on Christmas Day morning. We still go to the carol service but now go to Midnight Mass.

I understand the elf on the shelf, although I do do it and all the above you have said. But the stockings I find a little sad? My kids love their stockings. My mum still does a stocking for me now, a joint one with my husband! I’ll probably do the same haha.

Our Gdcs are still young, but dd has never done elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, or e.g. Christmas pyjamas. I don’t think they’ve ever felt deprived!

IMO it’s a bit miserable not to leave anything for 🎅🏻 and the reindeer, though - as long as it’s not ‘milk and cookies’ - a pernicious American custom that should fuck right off back across the pond where it belongs.
In the U.K. 🎅🏻expects a tot of something warming, and a mince pie or two. Who on earth wants cold milk on a cold midwinter night anyway??

But it’s just that things have changed since your own children were small. So you see ‘more’.

My mum was born in 1945 and my dad in 1928 and they had one Christmas present but they both had stockings. My dad had a Christmas tree. My mother grew up in poverty and didn’t have much at all ever materially until she was grown up. But it didn’t stop her from understanding what other people did at Christmas and doing that when she had children. Things change.

We've never done elf on a shelf or boxes but enjoyed experiences like theme parks, light trails and bluestone and Butlins at Xmas. The one that dd loved most was the year I did a 'favourite things' buffet instead of Xmas dinner. She's been nagging me to repeat it since and has worn me down so maybe that'll be our new tradition?
Stockings are a must though. Santa delivers overnight and they can be torn open when you discover them!

I never did any of the things you list when I was a child and I haven't done most with my own DC. I think you often tend to pass on things you grew up with. All presents were under the tree when I was a child rather than in a stocking so that's what we do, although they have always been from Father Christmas. We do leave a mince pie out. I also attend church regularly as an adult so go to a Christmas Eve service now. We have our own little "family" traditions that have developed over the years too.

Also when I was young I remember visiting a local Santa's grotto every year and did that with my DC when they were using. They're older now so we do something like visit a NT property or light trail.

I think people tend to take what their parents did for Christmas and then add to it. So we did leaving stuff out for Santa and the reindeer because my parents did it for me and I loved it. Same with stockings and crackers.

I added in the baking - my mum hated baking and never did it.

Each to their own.

No stockings 😱
My adult dc still get stockings, they say thats the highlight of their day and was my favourite part as a child

Christmas Eve boxes
Elf on the shelf
Light shows or walks
Hot chocolate stations
Matching pyjamas

I would however love to do all the traditions that Kevin from Motherland does!

Stockings is the only surprising one for me. I would think most people do / did Xmas stockings or something like them, since they’ve featured in Xmas pics, stories etc for decades / centuries.

Of the other things, we visited Father Christmas once or twice, usually just at the school Xmas fair or something. We also usually leave sherry, mince pie and carrots but we don’t do any footsteps or anything complicated- we just drink the sherry, eat the pie or put it back, and leave a bitten end of carrot behind.

Other than that, all as you say.

Most of those weren't generally done things when I was growing up. We had stockings, and we left a mince pie and glass of wine for Father Christmas - he was 'the delivery guy' in our house too, and my mum told me he got in through a window when I asked how he'd get down the chimney when we had a gas fire at the bottom of it.

Elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes, hot chocolate stations, December 1st boxes (plus special breakfast) and elaborate foot prints from Santa are all modern things for the Instagram generation, simply didn’t exist before smartphones. Gifts such as pyjamas were given on Christmas Eve (not matching) and basic advent calendars on the 1st but that’s it. Stockings however are old, my mum had one in the 50’s but presents were modest. A visit to Santa was a basic affair in a church hall or perhaps a department store but didn’t cost the earth, and you didn’t book, you just queued up. Light displays didn’t exist until recently nor Christmas markets in city centres, nothing wrong with them but they are modern consumerism trying to monetise Christmas.

As for my dc, now grown, they had chocolate advent calendars, new pj’s on Christmas Eve and modest stockings, elaborate or expensive gifts were from me!