Poncetastic Christmas 2024

[StiffyByngsDogBartholomew]

@vivajen hasn't posted on MN for a year so I've taken the bull by the horns. I can't wait any longer !
Wherever you are, Fellatio, here's to you. I hope you're brining a turkey and had crafting authentic organic woven tinsel somewhere.
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.
So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.
Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.
Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

🎄🎄🎄🎄

My son is at home sick today so I’m hoping for some ponceing time.

Splendidly poncetastic.

Infused gin
Linen napkin
Licking splashes off hand

My task for today / this weekend is to make a table runner. I have these Christmassy fat quarters and want to make a one with quilted strips. I shall need to take a trip to hobbycraft for some backing fabric.

Wish me luck. I can neither sew, knit or crochet, so this is absolutely not my métier!

I'm currently on holiday in Cornwall with Dd but will be back home on Tuesday abd don't go back to work until the 3rd November so am looking forward to starting my poncing proper next week. I've been enjoying all the Christmas decorations in the shops we've been in :)
bought a couple of gifts for DDs advent calendar and the Christmas Day wine from Polgoon Vineyard in Penzance. They make a glorious elderflower champagne 🤤

@TheWoollybacksWife it's a me issue 🤣 I've tried smaller hooks for the thread & have the same trouble. I'll get there in the end. Either that or I'll source some styrofoam and make the one from the other village pattern I have 🤔

@RainbowZebraWarrior that sounds fantastic. I'm going with buying a new table runner this year.

There's only the four of us but I'm going to sit down and plan table decoration over the half term.

I'm thinking crystals, white feathers and white felt decs for the tree now...after a scroll of t'interweb. So maybe sticking with that but kitten friendly.

The metallic felt worked better than expected!

@RainbowZebraWarrior you could use

this

@LaChatte that looks fab

Oh @LaChatte I want to be you! I want to be all of you who can sit happily and contentedly with crafting materials and make beautiful things. I love the idea of it but the reality is it stresses me out. 😔

I hope to find some starting point this year where I can just be gentle with myself and get a little something done, to get over this mental block!

@RainbowZebraWarrior those are very pretty! I really admire your zest for trying new things/doing things you've never done before.

I love crafting and have so many craft supplies but I also have an unfortunate habit of not completing things 😅. Judging by the time it's taken me so far to get started I have the feeling this particular project may not be ready until Xmas 2025 😂.

What a great idea! I'm just back from Hobbycraft and have got all I need. I'm going to try and sew the quilted runner, but use the wonder Webb idea for making a couple of pan stands (Oh listen to me, getting all overly confident!) My biggest hurdle is setting up the sewing machine. I'm dyspraxic and to me it's the same sort of witchcraft that allows people to blow dry their hair with a brush in front of a mirror.

@NowLightOneThousandChristmasLights Thanks, but I'd reserve judgement if I were you. I have a terrible habit of buying things then never actually doing them (the scandi fabric is at least four years old) As with you, I struggle to keep focus and have a terrible habit of impulse buying.

@lucysmam I went to buy a table runner yesterday from M&S, but they are all too long. I need a shorter one that doesn't hang down the sides of the table as the cat will just whip it off with whatever is on top of it.

I bought some Eringyum yesterday from M&S (I never buy flowers) but they are my favourite and my intention is that I can use them in some sort of wreath or display once they are dead dried. Again, hark at me biting off more than I can chew!

@RainbowZebraWarrior surely biting off more than one can chew is a hallmark character flaw of the Poncer 😁

Well if that's the standard then I definitely qualify, heh! My little stash of Scandi fabrics is almost 9 years in the waiting - I know what I want to do with it but haven't got round to it yet. I've air drying clay waiting, also for a specific project, and my white wool and crochet hook. Half completed cross stitch card...strips for making woven stars - I made a few and then decided I like plain white ones best. I've also got some card templates for making coronets - they only need gluing together so there's really no excuse!

I really, really want some Nooli Bird stamps (have coveted them for a few years now) but I'll wait one more year as I've still got loads of cards to use up.

One thing I will do for certain this year is make a candle holder with fresh greenery, ready for Christmas Eve. I found a little white porcelain pot for it the other day.

Sounds like you're 100% a poncer to me!
I have Fimo from the 80s (still works by the way), and some of the embroidery thread I'm using belonged to my great grandfather's sister who died in the 90's. She was obviously a poncer too, the craft supplies that I got when we emptied her house were incredible (a few things were post WWII era).

@NowLightOneThousandChristmasLights you'll fit in perfectly here! It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be finished, but we'd love to chat & see what you're doing 😊

I went for a wander in town today...eyed up lots of festive things. Primark have new colours of my wine glass I need want & I may have picked up Christmas bedding, for myself, in there 🤣

Didn't see any table runners though 🤔. Maybe I'll re-use the gold one...crystal napkin holders plastic cos dickhead kittens...gold napkins...glass candle holders (anyone seen any nice ones?)...gold cutlery...couple of tiny Christmas trees.

Oooor I could make beaded napkin holders? I have millions of beads left from the Eras Tour.

<skips off to Pinterest>

@lucysmam sorry I've namechanged yet again! It's me 🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰 and DH has said he may revoke the ban on gingerbread structures this year! 😆😆😆

@NowLightOneThousandChristmasLights 🤣 I didn't recognise you this time! You've reminded me I usually pre-make my dough about now (half term).

Despite being an English teacher I am apparently incapable of understanding basic instructions and have run out of embroidery thread in the colour I started with 🤦🏼‍♀️. Going to see if they have the right colour in the local shop tomorrow, if not I'll need to go back to the big shop but that's an hour away. I'll get on with other components in the meantime. So far I'm not convinced with my colour choice, but I shall persevere. On the plus side my embroidery technique has vastly improved over the day 😂.

Oh it's beautiful!

@LaChatte yes, it is beautiful.

@lucysmam car boot sales often have nice glass candle holders - you probably wont get loads of the exact same and might have to rummage a bit but i think if they're of similar style it often works better especially if you use the same candles.

I'm thinking of doing a Christmas Eve table with the decoupage candles in glass holders and the paperwhites which will hopefully be blooming by then.

Ooh, @LaChatte I love!! (That sounds a bit like Ooh, La La when I read it back) The colour is lovely. if you don't like it, send it my way as it matches my dining chairs

Just had an email to say that Fortnum's Christmas food slots are now open. May be of use to some poncers. (Not me, I'm in NE England) I only pounce on their emails as I'm waiting / hoping they will reduce their Halloween hampers.

Love all the table decor ideas and agree with @Magnoliasunrise that mismatched candle holders are lovely.
I am coveting some kind of footed cake stand to raise up a centerpiece whilst making room for food. I really should decide a theme so I know the right thing when I see it.
Today I have worked on a seitan recipe that will be my Christmas dinner. It’s close, 4 slices into testing so far.