Poncetastic Christmas 2024

[StiffyByngsDogBartholomew]

@vivajen hasn't posted on MN for a year so I've taken the bull by the horns. I can't wait any longer !
Wherever you are, Fellatio, here's to you. I hope you're brining a turkey and had crafting authentic organic woven tinsel somewhere.
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.
So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.
Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.
Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

🎄🎄🎄🎄

I make a great apple and mince meat cake with leftover mincemeat. DH says he likes it more than the mince pies!

Thanks for that tip regarding Waitrose @RainbowZebraWarrior. I already know I am buying in any Christmas poncetasticness this year including the cake so I will check it out today.

I make these which are Delias wholefood mincemeat slices but using spelt flour and butter

https://theordinarycook.co.uk/2012/11/14/mincemeat-bars/

Also thanks to @RainbowZebraWarrior
I'll get myself to waitrose for a browse this evening and allow myself some flexibility in what I make and what I buy with 20% off. Win win

Tbh I think poncing is an attitude rather than what you do (for me, anyway). I get way too stressed if I allow myself to become overwhelmed. So I've learnt that there's a sweet spot - do what genuinely makes you happy, buy in the rest, and don't be in a competition with your former self in a former life.💐

As far as I'm concerned poncing is about making Christmas as beautiful and bountiful as possible in whatever way works best! 🎄🎄🎄

Thanks so much @HannahDefoesTrenchcoat that’s really helpful!

Regarding alcohol free mincemeat, I'd say just keep it in the fridge and all should be good for a couple of months unopened. As others have said, simmer and add to hot sterilised jars first.

Adding to the Waitrose info, I noticed via this week's Waitrose Weekend that there are other 20% off No 1 offers lasting until 5th November. (Including some delicious sounding chocolate and hazelnut florentines that they don't sell at my tiny store)

Waitrose are also now selling 2 Michelin starred restaurant Gymkhana jar sauces. I've popped a Butter Masala one on my order for next week as it could be a good bet for a lazy Boxing Day Turkey Curry.

I promise I don't work for Waitrose!

I got my reusable Christmas crackers from here:
https://wastefreecelebrations.co.nz/products/diy-sew-your-own-christmas-crackers

Lots of shops sell the snaps so you still get the satisfying pop when you pull them.

The same website also has pre-made reusable crackers for those who only want to ponce the contents of the crackers.
https://wastefreecelebrations.co.nz/collections/reusable-celebration-crackers

They are really good quality but I’m not sure what the shipping costs would be from NZ tho.

My absolute favourite leftover mincemeat recipe is by Nigel Slater. Mincemeat Hotcakes. (It's on his 12 tastes of Christmas series)

Thank you for the tip on the DVD/recipe cards. I'm going to treat myself to that for sure! Yes that's the book I was talking about. I like it better with the lighter cover and less lurid lettering, is that the book itself without the dust cover?

Oh I really like the 12 Tastes of Christmas series. Haven't watched it in years! I hope I can find it on YouTube.

YouTube is where I just found it (and made the collage from screenshots)

The pic I posted last night is Jamie's book with the dust cover on. Its really nice. I hadn't realised previously, but this is it sans dust cover. As you say, a little lurid.

Actually that one's not too bad! The one I've seen is a green cover which, combined with the coloured lettering, just feels a bit too much. Maybe I can find one like yours on eBay/whatnot. 🙂

This is what I thought it looked like. Looking again it's not actually that bad.

But maybe it's just the stock photos making it look like that...yours is fine.

Might have a little hunt around for a bargain!

My mum always made her own mincemeat and her own mince pies - perish the thought of shop bought! DH will only have shop bought but just last week I had the longing to bite into one of my mum's pies, made with her own pastry. There's only the two of us so it's not worth me making my own, sadly.

@NowLightOneThousandChristmasLights - I completely agree. I go all out in decorating the house but I don’t craft anything. The one year I went all out making my own mincemeat and chutney etc it all got thrown out six months later as we were moving countries! And my home made mince pies were like rocks!

But I love Christmas decorations and decorating the house and switching things up every year.

And I love these threads and living vicariously through those of you who go a bit further than me!

So what is the best mincemeat recipe?

I'll give you my favourite turkey recipe - the superbrined turkey from Nigellas Christmas book. Its basically a turkey in a bath of water with malden salt, oranges, cinnamon sticks etc and its just foolproof and fabulous.

I'll try and find a link.

But her mincemeat recipe wasn't that great so I'm looking for some recommendations.

https://www.nigella.com/recipes/spiced-and-superjuicy-roast-turkey

We chop and change so we don't have a favourite, really - we've used Delia's, Mary Berry's, Nigel's, and last year we did a Hairy Bikers recipe which DH liked a lot so we're doing it again this year.

I've also used this for the last 5 or 6 years. I used to take half of my turkey to my Mum's house and we would compare with her turkey. Nigellas wins hands down every time. Even fussy DD enjoys it. (I have a video of her when she was about 6 saying "Mmm Mama, it's soooo juicy!"

@MissMarplesNiece
Of course you must make your mums mince pies. They are easily frozen. Just take one out when you want it. Give yourself a little treat every now and then. If you freeze them cooked just need to pop them in the microwave.
Enjoy.

The Nigella brined turkey looked amazing, and quick too! Plus I love the idea of turfing the turkey out of the fridge to brine the day before, and then having more room for wine prepped veg 😄

I keep getting shown beautiful hand-painted taper candles online, and I'd love to try doing some of my own. Has anybody painted candles before? I'm considering making some for hostess gifts too, but only if they turn out okay! Or has anybody bought some before? This is the kind of thing:

@Edgeofthesea that would make a great slogan for an advert. "Turf the turkey out!" I imagine people up and down the country popping their turkeys into buckets then kicking back and shoving an extra bottle or two in the fridge.

Thos candles are divine. I make candles but I'm not clever enough am too lazy to paint them finely like that.

<scuttles off to buy some>

Edited to add: the ones on the right side of your pic are too expensive all sold out. Might get a YouTube tutorial up and grab DDs podcast pens and have a go after all.

@Edgeofthesea You can also decoupage plain candles with some christmassy napkin images.

Ooh, I've just had a 10 minute tea break and tried this. It needs neatening up and a coat of mod podge over the top, but thanks for the idea!