Poncetastic Christmas 2024

[StiffyByngsDogBartholomew]

@vivajen hasn't posted on MN for a year so I've taken the bull by the horns. I can't wait any longer !
Wherever you are, Fellatio, here's to you. I hope you're brining a turkey and had crafting authentic organic woven tinsel somewhere.
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.
So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.
Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.
Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

🎄🎄🎄🎄

@Edgeofthesea
Panforte sounds fantastic, I don’t think I’ve ever tried it - what would you suggest instead of honey?

For the chocolate Guinness cake, I use a mashup of the Domestic Gothess vegan traditional Christmas cake recipe, and the good housekeeping non vegan chocolate Guinness one. Pics attached, ignore timings as my oven is a law unto itself so bake until done.

The GH recipe says don’t feed but a few slugs of kahlua when soaking the fruit does it no harm at all.

Oooh @Christingly your MDF houses are stunning! Did you make those from scratch?

I'm enjoying lurking on this thread again this year and living vicariously. I'm dying to ponce to my heart's content but with four kids in tow, including a one year old and a one month old (!) my time for poncing is sadly a bit limited this year.

I am keen to give paperwhites a go; I've never grown them before but it looks doable...can someone confirm, do you just need the bulbs, pebbles and pot of choice? Anything I'm missing?

Thanks all! @lucyhoneychurch7 nooo! I got them from a shop on etsy, have just painted them white and gold. Looking forward to the next stage which will involve a glue gun 🤣

@LemonTurdCart golden syrup, treacle or rice malt syrup can probably be used to replace honey in panforte. Maple syrup less so, I think, as the heavy stickiness is what’s needed.

@lucyhoneychurch7
Paperwhites.
Yes that’s right.
I start mine on 12th November I just stand the bulbs on the pebbles in a tall glass container and add water just to the base of the bulbs. Leave in a cool dark place until about 3 inches of growth then bring into the warmth and light. It is at this point that I carefully tip some water away and replace with a 4-6% alcohol solution made with one part gin/vodka to 7 parts water ( this stunts the green growth without affecting the flowers and stops them getting too leggy)

http://www.hort.cornell.edu/miller/bulb/Pickling_your_Paperwhites.pdf

@Trumpton oh thank you for the great instructions! Definitely going to do it, I'd be delighted to have a display like yours!

@Christingly you did a great job painting them! Love Etsy! Always wanted to have a reason to use a glue gun also

I'm going to have a look at my cookbooks over the weekend and have a think about what edible presents I might make. I really loved Nigella's fermented chilli sauce last year; I might try her chilli jam as well!

My much loved recipe for Kletzenbrot Dried Pear Loaf from Advent is vegan.
It's somewhere between a normal tea loaf and a panforte.
I bought the dried pears from Hrapetree as the little local shop has stopped stocking them.

Can you share your panforte recipe please? Sorry if I've missed it.
Half the family is vegetarian with one or two lapsed vegans 😳

There was no cheap brandy in Sainsbury's this week and no unsalted butter in waitrose.

Lovely to think of all that fruit steeping all over the country (and beyond).

Exciting. Fingers crossed for this timing works for mine this year :)

This is not strictly in the spirit of poncing however as they will form part of the candy buffet including gingerbread house I'm hoping you'll forgive me 😂
i LOVE the sweet goodies on Alpenfest week (and the pumpernickel is for Julbord night) and had an exciting/pricy trip to Lidl this morning
one box of the Mozartkugeln is for my piano teacher :)

@LemonTurdCart Thank you for sharing your recipes! I will add a slug of something into the fruit to help it out.

For those asking about panforte, I think this is (loosely) the recipe we've used before:

https://wallflowerkitchen.com/vegan-panforte-italian-chocolate-christmas-cake/

@TheSandgroper You're right, I think maple syrup alone as a swap for honey would be too runny, but the recipe above adds brown sugar to maple syrup and warms to dissolve the sugar and reduce it down a bit, which worked fine in case that helps anyone 😊

I also quite fancy this recipe which uses apricot preserves instead:

laurasvegantable.com/recipes/panforte/

I've come on here to ask where your mug is from NowLightOneThousandChristmasLights? I love it!

Is the design apples or pomegranates? Trying to search for it!

Found it, is it Emma Bridgwater Vegetable Garden apples?

@Goodwitch9 yes it is! At least I think that's what its official name is. Definitely apples, anyway. 🙂

We're veggie, but most meals end up being naturally vegan.

No christmas poncing for me this weekend I have been finishing off a dress and planting some bulbs for spring. The cake si done though and I am debating having a go at some reusable crackers

I'm not getting far at all 😥 I'm just too knackered after work & weekends are either busy with the girls, or socialising. Or like today - I need a steady nothing day to recover from Friday/Saturday evenings <sigh>

@Frumpyunicorn i was wondering what on earth a reusable cracker was, having crackers for cheese in my mind, and wondering if you'd made a typo.
Then I realised 🤦🏼‍♀️
id be interested in which pattern you're using, I quite like the idea

I did some poncing practice last night while watching Rivals by doing a needle felting kit. It was quite successful so I'm thinking about making some little felt decorations for my tree.

I was looking in a cupboard for my copy of the Christmas Chronicals and uncovered this little beauty 😂

I've never done a fanny recipe before but I do enjoy watching her old videos on YouTube.

Oh, and for all of those on this thread making Christmas cakes, you're all 10 months too late according to fanny. Tut tut.

Strangely I've just been watching Fanny Craddock Cooks for Christmas, (1975) and making notes. She actually puts the bacon in between the breast meat and the skin of the turkey. (She plucks at the skin first to loosen it)

Where have you been watching this? I don't know if I've seen it.

@RainbowZebraWarrior found it! I must have already seen this because I remember the bit where she says Christmas is just slave labour for women 😬😂

Doesn't Delia do that too or am I getting confused? Maybe she layers it on top...I've done it a few times but I'm always worried I'll tear the skin.

Has anyone got Jamie Oliver's Christmas book? I quite fancy having it but I don't like the styling he's used for the cover...but if it's good I might get it anyway. I quite like some of the things he's done on his Christmas shows.