Poncetastic Christmas 2024

[StiffyByngsDogBartholomew]

@vivajen hasn't posted on MN for a year so I've taken the bull by the horns. I can't wait any longer !
Wherever you are, Fellatio, here's to you. I hope you're brining a turkey and had crafting authentic organic woven tinsel somewhere.
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.
So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.
Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.
Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

🎄🎄🎄🎄

@TheWoollybacksWife I made a batch a few weeks ago and cooked it a bit too long and it's basically caramelised sweet chilli sauce! 😁😁 It still tastes good but I would have liked it to be more easily spreadable.

@TheSandgroper I used a recipe from Riverford Veg; it came with a kit I bought but you can probably find it online.

@TheWoollybacksWife @NoWordForFluffy, thank you both, I'll take a look at those!

Saw this and thought of you all! Templates to make outdoor silhouettes on insta/Etsy. Wondering can I persuade DH. Haven’t RTFT yet, must settle in and catch up!

I want to make myself a Christmas mug and I need inspiration! What should I draw/sculpt/write on it?

Christmas lights with your fingerprints?

@NoWordForFluffy I've already bought jam sugar. Would following the recipe you posted work with jam sugar (excluding all the apples perhaps)?

I'd imagine it would, yes. Can't see why it wouldn't!

I'd like a swear shirt. Feeling very sweary today. 🤣

Christmas Cake in the oven. Mary Berry helpfully said 5-15 hours (Aga)

Feels weird as 18C here (Scotland)

Helpful indeed! Also 18 degrees here in NE England. Most disconcerting. Have made the most of it though and have sheets line drying will likely rain now

The first Christmas cake I ever made, I decided to start one Saturday evening. After popping it in the oven at around 8pm, I realised it wouldn't be ready till about 1.30am. I fell asleep and woke up in a panic at 5am. Burnt bits cut off, fed copiously then marzipan and icing applied nobody noticed.

I'm planning to make Christmas cake this evening, but mine is in baked bean tins so won't take hours to bake. Unfortunately I forgot to write down how long it took last year. I lined all the tins last night. It's 17degrees here, I just ate lunch outside in a teeshirt. Lovely and sunny, my washing is out but no breeze so it may not fully dry.

I painted mdf houses today. There's 2 of each design. I'm planning on putting the pairs together back to back and having some micro fairy lights in between. I want them to be able to stand up on their own on the window ledge, so just need to find some wood dowels to stick them together with which are wide enough to make the houses sturdy

Ohhhh @Christingly those are gorgeous! 😍 😍

My Christmas poncing was restricted to trying this Riverford granola recipe with apple, sour cherries and coconut. I remembered part way through that half of the people at planned Christmas morning breakfast don't like cinnamon so I've left it but might use ground ginger instead on next try.

https://www.riverford.co.uk/organic-recipe-boxes-and-kits/recipe-kits/granola-kit?src=product-grid-3

@HannahDefoesTrenchcoat were you pleased with how it came out?

I read that Riverford are doing a box of mixed squashes soon, which I’ll allow them to mug me for. They’ll be my Autumn decorations until they’re eaten! Their mashed potato squashes are really tasty if you can get hold of one.

It was nice. The apples dried out and went chewy in a good way. The grated orange zest was nice in it as were the dried sour cherries.

Not sure why I bought a recipe kit though as it's so easy to make!

@HannahDefoesTrenchcoat it looks right up my street, love dried cherries. I don’t suppose you have a note of the quantities?

Hope you can read that @LemonTurdCart

@HannahDefoesTrenchcoat thank you so much, yes it’s readable. Will scare up some dried cherries from somewhere

This looks like a lovely project! Please show us when again when it's finished 🌟

@Christingly - did you make the mdf houses or buy them? They are going to look amazing!

I love those houses @Christingly. They will look amazing.

Who are my fellow poncing vegans? I’m not keeping up with name changes very well (I am beast of b0dmas of previous years)

Free magazine in Grape Tree today has recipes for vegan chocolate orange Christmas pudding, Christmas cake and cinnamon rolls. I’m happy to post pictures as needed - both the recipe and the test batch!

@LemonTurdCart I'm not vegan any more, but live with one (and a 6yo who goes back and forth!) so we do a lot ot vegan cooking 😊 Our resident vegan made chocolate panforte for gifts last year which was delicious - it's an Italian dense spiced fruit & nut christmas cake, and slices up very well. He wrapped slices in pretty waxproof paper tied with string for coworkers, hosts etc. I'll be doing the same this year!

The Guinness & chocolate Christmas cake you mentioned looks right up my alley, I'm going to give it a go, for the first time ever 🤔 I'm wondering whether or not it needs feeding too though? The recipe I found online doesn't mention feeding at all, but I'm concerned about whether it'll last that long with a low alcohol content... Maybe I'll bung something in anyway 😄 Can you please share what your recipe suggests and how you made it before?

@Christingly Those MDF decorations are so stunning 😍

Hello to fellow panforte makers. I think I need to double my recipe this year to cover my sharing needs.