MIL doesn’t chip in/help out

[Koalapb]

AIBU to expect my MIL to help out over Xmas. She has decided that she has “done her time” and now it’s over to us so does nothing while we are run off our feet. It’s also contributed to by her feeling she is a guest (and to be fair she wd do more if we were on her turf)… I end up feeling angry, as if I am a bit of a servant but am also aware she is elderly (though very fit/capable), that I have children that can (and do) help and that maybe I am being unfair… I do find it falling though to see her floating around when everyone else is hands on deck…

Oh bless you. Christmas is so stressful for the host… you’ll look back in a week or 2 and wonder why you were upset… but it’s easily done when you’re running round and feel like you’re being put on… even if you aren’t.
Happy New Year x

Something else is clearly going on

Same. Sounds like you just don’t like her, tbh.

At 80, I will absolutely have done my time of Christmas dinners too.

OP she is 80. Are you annoyed that other people in the house aren’t helping. It’s completely unreasonable to be annoyed at an 80 year old, she has done her time and is entitled to relax

We like some help from people who can actually help a little I don't keep track who does what and couldn't imagine everyone needing to help out with every task

Honestly I think she probably has done her time and is entitled to be looked after at 80! It's time for grandchildren to pitch in not her

Well look at it this way - when you’re 80 maybe you’ll enjoy being hosted with care and grace, rather than being expected to earn your place at the table?

YABU.

Christmas is one day that I don't let my parents do ANYTHING. At 79 and 82, they've earnt the right to relax and be fussed over. My children are on board with this.
And if you're 'run off your feet' you're doing it wrong 🤷‍♀️

My MIL is 81 and never offers to help. That’s fine by me. She doesn’t really help that much, I just find people get in the way when they offer to muck in. I can also kind of see her point. She’s probably had 60 odd years of waiting on everyone.

This. This. This. This. This with Bells on!

She's 80! Give her a break, sounds like there's more than enough hands on deck to cover what you think she should be doing.