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Original poster

Our guests are hinting that they are going to stay longer than wanted ! How to find the words?

686 replies

Duvetdaysaregood · 27/12/2022 23:05

Guests invited until tomorrow. Been here since 23 rd with general idea to go between c mas and new year.

Heard one lot say to another , oh how long are you staying.? . they replied ..oh maybe till the new year. ..

I could not just holler .. what ..?? From a distance across kitchen.

So , said to them later , what did you say about stating longer .. ? They shrugged it off and changed the subject
I said i needed to know . Evasive .

I repeated that we needed to know for food etc and they just said oh well we could get food .

I have had this before and struggled .we live in a beautiful area of natural beauty where people go on holiday and they do relax .

anyone had this before ? If so , do I need to directly say please leave ..and if so how ! Without causing offence ?
They know
us well and I am struggling to ask them to go . If i say we have other guests due , ( a lie and dont want to lie ) I think they would just say oh no problem , we can all muck in , offer to sleep on camp bed if bo room .. I jusy want ghem to go .

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 28/12/2022 11:30

Hopefully you’ve learned that an open ended invitation is a terrible idea.

Clymene · 28/12/2022 11:41

Duvetdaysaregood · 28/12/2022 10:37

Oh god they all came by train .. there are strikes and the train does not go the whole way.

Strikes finished yesterday. Get them off today or tomorrow at the latest.

And if they're upset, well good! Perhaps they won't treat you like a free hotel in the future

WickedStepmomNOT · 28/12/2022 11:44

Duvetdaysaregood · 28/12/2022 10:37

Oh god they all came by train .. there are strikes and the train does not go the whole way.

Check out Megabus and National Express, they're running extra coach services.

IncompleteSenten · 28/12/2022 11:44

I'd say I overheard you say you might be staying in the area until the new year. Where are you planning to stay after you leave here today?

Then whatever they say you remind them the invitation was until today and that hasn't changed.

You either let them be pissed off or you let them doss at yours until they choose to go.

It's entirely in your hands.

Emotionalsupportviper · 28/12/2022 11:52

Duvetdaysaregood · 28/12/2022 10:37

Oh god they all came by train .. there are strikes and the train does not go the whole way.

It's going to cost them a lot for taxis, then, isn't it?

😁

Tell them to book a Travelodge.

Benjispruce4 · 28/12/2022 11:55

When you invite people, you say please come on X day until X day. Make sure you have ‘plans’ for the day they leave.Once bitten….

Soothsayer1 · 28/12/2022 11:57

My guess is that these people are of ops parents generation, can't let go of the feeling that they are the boss and everything is automatically on their terms and the generation below will never do anything but meekly comply

Mystery2345 · 28/12/2022 12:02

OP as someone else said this is in your hands. For your own sake, check the trains and assist them in leaving...

pinkyredrose · 28/12/2022 12:05

Why did you ask them how long they were staying so that you could sort food when you want them to leave? 😶

Just let them know it's time to leave, ask if they need a hand packing or sorting a taxi etc

Nameneeded · 28/12/2022 12:07

This is why we don’t have a bed in our spare room. People just take the piss. They clearly have no shame and so wouldn’t accept a reasonable explanation from you so you’ll need to lie and make up some plans that you’ve made for that time period.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/12/2022 12:08

Perhaps check the trains and give them a list of the ones leaving today or tomorrow if not possible because of the impending strikes. Then if they still refuse, text them links to booking.com and hotel.com. Be clear, you cannot be responsible for them insisting on staying and causing an inability for them to be able to return home.

ThePoetsWife · 28/12/2022 12:11

Duvetdaysaregood · 28/12/2022 10:37

Oh god they all came by train .. there are strikes and the train does not go the whole way.

Not true - check Trainline as strikes ended yesterday morning.

Just tell them it's time for them to go home.

Grow some balls ffs

Fufumcgoo · 28/12/2022 12:13

Duvetdaysaregood · 27/12/2022 23:05

Guests invited until tomorrow. Been here since 23 rd with general idea to go between c mas and new year.

Heard one lot say to another , oh how long are you staying.? . they replied ..oh maybe till the new year. ..

I could not just holler .. what ..?? From a distance across kitchen.

So , said to them later , what did you say about stating longer .. ? They shrugged it off and changed the subject
I said i needed to know . Evasive .

I repeated that we needed to know for food etc and they just said oh well we could get food .

I have had this before and struggled .we live in a beautiful area of natural beauty where people go on holiday and they do relax .

anyone had this before ? If so , do I need to directly say please leave ..and if so how ! Without causing offence ?
They know
us well and I am struggling to ask them to go . If i say we have other guests due , ( a lie and dont want to lie ) I think they would just say oh no problem , we can all muck in , offer to sleep on camp bed if bo room .. I jusy want ghem to go .

Mistake number 1- By saying 'you need to know for food' you've confirmed your OK with them staying as long as you have enough food.
Mistake number 2 - Not immediately confirming you need them to leave.

In future, ask a cheery 'what time are you planning on leaving tomorrow? Do I need to plan lunch?'

This confirms they are in fact leaving as planned and no later than after lunch.

To fix this current problem, you just need to clearly state with a kind tone that its been lovely having them but you do need them to leave tomorrow as planned. You cannot host longer.

If they object, say 'no I'm sorry that doesn't work for us, we need to stick to the original plans' then smile and change the subject.

Itisbetter · 28/12/2022 12:18

Is it sorted @Duvetdaysaregood ?

Mandymirage · 28/12/2022 12:19

If i had a the tiniest HINT from my hosts that I am over staying, I would be mortified and would leave instantly. Looks like your guests are a bit rude and selfish if you think they understood the situation but are not wanting to leave and if that's the case. Tell them nicely that you have plans and prefer if there is no one in the house as you want a bit of privacy and relax time before holiday ends, "hope you understand"? Being honest is the best way forward and there is a always a nice way to deliver the message. If they still don't undertsand then they are clearly taking the Pi** and you need be clearer and firmer. Good luck!

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 28/12/2022 12:19

Who are the guests? They sound incredibly dismissive of you?

IsItThough · 28/12/2022 12:27

who are they?

Just tell them you are busy and have plans now - and WRITE DOWN IN YOUR CALENDAR if you ever invite them again you need an EXIT DATE.

You need to get them to go before NYE or they will deffo be stuck for yonks - 3/4/6/7 so get them out or they are with you till the 5th

IsItThough · 28/12/2022 12:31

"I love you dearly and it is wonderful having you visit but I need some time and space on our own before the end of the holiday"

Also

"I've looked up the trains and you need to go on 29th or 30th as there are no trains again until the 5th and I have to be back to routine/work"

Kisskiss · 28/12/2022 12:35

I used to have this problem every year and we started saying that the house is “available from X to Y”
these guests still manage somehow to push the dates out beyond the X and Y now but at least they are forced to tell me before they show up.

MaggieFS · 28/12/2022 12:35

I still don't think OP should say she needs quiet time of anything like that. ANY detail allows CF to try and wheedle around it.

Quite simply, the OP 'has plans'.

Itisbetter · 28/12/2022 12:40

God I hope they’ve taken you out for a meal. Anyone who lives in a good location has lived some variation of this nightmare.

Original poster
Duvetdaysaregood · 28/12/2022 12:59

..has been agreed that all will leave 30th .

I have said we are running out of food now .
no offer to go to shops. I may ask them to go but if so we may get the bill and am
unsure if we can ask guests to buy food .. i may say contribute !

.. will dig heels in .. we will eat any random bits out of freezer.

OP posts:
Itschristmastimeinthecity · 28/12/2022 13:01

Duvetdaysaregood · 28/12/2022 12:59

..has been agreed that all will leave 30th .

I have said we are running out of food now .
no offer to go to shops. I may ask them to go but if so we may get the bill and am
unsure if we can ask guests to buy food .. i may say contribute !

.. will dig heels in .. we will eat any random bits out of freezer.

Good!

And yes, you can absolutely ask guests to contribute to buying food as they
over-stayed their visit!!!

Left to me they'd be leaving 30 mins from now and would never step foot in my house ever again🙂

Coffeepot72 · 28/12/2022 13:03

Well let’s all pray the departure date doesn’t slip …

Soothsayer1 · 28/12/2022 13:05

Empty out all the cupboards and the fridge
eat secretly in your room, just shrug and change the subject if they mention food