I think you did the right thing, OP. You were put in an awkward position. It can happen, even with family. I’m sorry your DD got caught in the middle, but it does happen. I have some stories that would make your hair curl.
My mom has an older brother (Alvin) who used to do this kind of thing over and over. My mom hosted both Alvin and his wife on countless occasions. They were thankless guests who announced (not asked) when and how long they would be staying, did not chip in, always overstayed the agreed dates, were perpetually on a different fad diet that required special, expensive food which they never bought themselves (and the diets were not health or weight related according to Alvin, just a trendy hobby that was their “thing”), and openly critiqued my mom’s living arrangements and hosting during their stay (which were more than comfortable and generous). She bent over backwards for them, spent hours shopping especially for their meals, stocked the freezer with expensive foods, planned meals around their diets (and once had them switch fad diets without telling her after she had shopped especially for them, then when they arrived with their new diet they complained they couldn’t eat anything), and she never got a thank you. Alvin was in his late fifties when this was going on.
A few years later after their mother, my grandmother, became older and more infirm, Alvin called my mom up and announced that he and his wife were coming to stay again and he didn’t know how long they would be there for. He often did this towards the later years of my grandmother’s life; he had lived off my grandmother (including living in her house) for decades starting in his thirties; and although my mom was my grandmother’s main caretaker Alvin would pop up occasionally to be “worried” about grandmother’s welfare, come to stay with my mom, and ask my grandmother for money. Grandmother would give it to him. Then Alvin took to asking my mom for money too. She gave him some too.
But this time, hosting him was actually impossible for my mom. So for the first time, she replied that Alvin would need to get a hotel because my mom would actually be on an extended vacation for her and my dad’s milestone anniversary. And Alvin said, “Oh, that’ll actually be even better, we’ll have your whole house to ourselves! Just leave us your keys.” (Yes, he asked for the car keys too. For both cars. And would they top off the gas tanks first, actually.)
Mom very politely responded that it would not work and Alvin would need to get a hotel. Alvin was very disgruntled but didn’t make a scene as my parents genuinely never went on vacation and Alvin was clearly expecting more freebies in the future if he kept his trap shut. But his response was enough to miff my dad, and that gravy train never left the depot again. It’s hard, but doable. My mom learned eventually to set some boundaries, but for my grandmother it was too late.
Years later, my grandmother’s life was coming to a close and the family all rallied around her as families do. Alvin’s adult children showed up for the first time ever, and actually asked her for money on her deathbed. And THEY GOT IT.
Never speak to them now.