Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I’m dreading Christmas Day as my dc have barely and gifts

241 replies

Bluebellberry · 20/12/2022 16:32

Things have been finically dreadful for us.
I normally love Christmas but this year I am dreading it.
We are struggling so badly we only have a couple of very, very small low cost gifts for each child. I am so deeply ashamed.I am dreading seeing their faces on Christmas morning. They only asked for 2 small things bless them but I still feel an absolute failure.
I have absolutely nothing to give to my siblings or parents.
I have nobody to talk too irl as close friends and family don’t have money issues.
Is anyone else in this position?

OP posts:
OtterInABox · 20/12/2022 16:42

How old are they?

There's still plenty of time to look on Facebook - local selling pages and community sites are ideal for this. You could create an anonymous post or ask Admin to do so on your behalf and ask if anyone has books / toys / etc they they'd be able to let you have.

Most people are more than happy to help and there'll be plenty out there who have bits and pieces to donate

The above advice is very practical but it'll work

AllGonePeteTong1 · 20/12/2022 16:43

I'm not in that position so it's easy for me to say, but I really do believe that it's not about the volume of gifts for kids. It's the special family time they get, playing games together, the feeling of it being an event, and enjoying each others company. That's what they will remember. Hug them close and shower then with attention and they'll have the best day.

Stoic123 · 20/12/2022 16:45

Not this year but have been very broke in the past. Please don't be ashamed and allow it to spoil your day. All my favourite childhood memories are about experiences and not things. The main gift you can give your kids is your undivided attention.

You can make it special by doing things differently from a normal day. Watch films or TV as a family, get into pyjamas early (or stay in them), play Christms music and dance around.

Try to not make it about what you can't have/do but about what you can.

Things will get better.

AkoraEdelherb · 20/12/2022 16:48

Not in that position this year OP, but I was there for a long time. When I was young too, that’s how most of our Christmases growing up were.

Don’t feel guilty. You love your children, they’ll be warm and fed and adored on the day and that’s most important. Having humble Christmases when I was little really taught me to appreciate them even more now and to count the small blessings. A small gift given with all the love in the world is so much better than piles of presents that nobody can remember or recognise after about three days.

Concentrate on making the day special by spending time together and doing lovely things as a family.

MeJane · 20/12/2022 16:49

I remember not being able to afford easter eggs for my daughters. I distracted them by decorating actual eggs and we hid them from each other on Easter Sunday. I honestly don't think they were bothered by it but I felt absolute awful.

Threeboysandadog · 20/12/2022 16:49

Don’t worry about your siblings or parents. Let them know in advance and I’m sure they will understand. Money is tight for us and we are not doing nieces and nephews this year and we stopped doing adults quite a few years ago. How old are your children? If they are teenagers then they will understand. If they are younger have a look on Facebook marketplace. Lots of people have a clear out at this time of year and there are lots of free items, toys, games etc.

Will the children get gifts from anyone else. That would help a bit. The most important thing is to make the day special for them. Go for a nice walk and check out the Christmas lights. Do you have a torch? We used to do “dark” walks with a torch. Watch a film together (if you have a tv or screen) or play games with them. It does depend a little on their ages.

Do you have enough food. If not then try to access the food bank via your GP, health visitor or citizens advice. Don’t feel bad. There are a lot of people struggling at the moment and I’m sure your children will know that you are doing your very best.

Logginglogger · 20/12/2022 16:49

there is nothing to be ashamed of, for kids it’s about love and joy as well.

on saying that if you really are worried. There is usually local efforts for low income families where people collect to give presents to children who wouldn’t otherwise get anything , could you look on your local Facebook ?

you could also look on freecycle, and if you’ve a local exchange page, where folks give stuff away for free.

SantaStoleMyPies · 20/12/2022 16:49

I agree with the above point about trying not to let the way you feel about the presents to ruin the day. The memories will be the day, not the presents.

If you wanted to add to it, and depending on the age of your childen, can you offer some free' presents. Like a voucher for 'chose what we have for tea one night' or 'chose what we watch on the telly' or 'stay up extra late one weekend night'. That kind of thing?

And I truly believe the real gift you are giving, is the gift of a loving childhood. Not every child gets that (sadly) and it makes a lifetime of difference.

Threeboysandadog · 20/12/2022 16:50

X-posted with everyone!!

Blowyourowntrumpet · 20/12/2022 16:50

My kids are older now, but I was in the same position when they were little. One Christmas when it wear snowing we all went outside and had a massive snowball fight. It wear the best Christmas ever and they still remember it. You can do fun things without spending money. How old are they? You're not a failure

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/12/2022 16:50

how old are the kids? Perhaps we can think of ways to make the morning fun for them without presents.

Quinner · 20/12/2022 16:52

If you have relatives or friends who don’t have money worries and you think would give without judgement or expectation could you ask them to help.

personally I would to be able to give them something extra

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/12/2022 16:52

There are toy collections for people having dufficulty I know Lidl and Salvation army do this but don't know who to approach for help.

Have you looked on Freecycle? I gave away my grandsons' outgrown scooters a few years ago. The children won't know they're second hand.

Charity shops.

If you have some money buy practical things like a toothbrush and flannel, socks etc. and wrap them up.

Make the day exciting in other ways. A picnic Christmas Dinner- I heard a woman on a radio programme describing doing this in the 70s when she was in a similar position -they had a picnic on the floor with sandwiches and made it fun. Go for a walk when it gets dark and look at the Christmas lights. Go for a walk in the daytime and make it into a treasure hunt with things to look out for.

I hope you manage to have a good day and remember it is just one day.

gogohmm · 20/12/2022 16:53

What age are your children, if young then a message on your local Facebook group asking if anyone has suitable second hand items (eg board games, toys) they would consider passing on is a good idea, many people have a lot of stuff that quite frankly they can pass on. Older children are different, they will understand more and perhaps spending time together and making plans for the future where you as a family can do things which aren't about money.

hiredandsqueak · 20/12/2022 16:54

Speak to your parents let them know how tough things are. I know if my dc told me they were struggling I'd help them out. Have you tried contacting Action for Children they are providing help to parents who are struggling.

TokyoSushi · 20/12/2022 16:55

DS has just come home from school to excitedly show us a game he designed in IT. We all stopped what we were doing and sat together playing it, giving massive praise about how brilliant it was as we did. I could tell from his face that already that's going to be his favorite moment of the Christmas holidays.

Don't worry too much about the gifts OP, just focus on having a really lovely time together.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/12/2022 16:55

You mention parents and siblings. Will they not be buying for your kids as you say none of them have money problems? Kids will see presents, they won't particularly be thinking we'll Granny got me this but Daddy and Mommy only got me that.

. Second the free cycle / FB style post.

gogohmm · 20/12/2022 16:56

For my DD1s first Christmas she got a book, a packet of crayons and everything else was hand me downs from a friend.

Things have improved, I don't have money issues these days (I'm probably a lot older that you now) but I remember when buying a whole chicken was a stretch!

CaptainMyCaptain · 20/12/2022 16:57

Contact your local Salvation army.

I’m dreading Christmas Day as my dc have barely and gifts
MandyMotherOfBrian · 20/12/2022 16:57

I can only remember two presents from the whole of my childhood, right up to 16. One was an outfit of a bright red short flared skirt and a matching waistcoat (don’t judge, it was the 70s 😂) which I absolutely loved and wore to death and the other was a Rocking Horse - the biggest thing I ever got as a child and that’s why I remember them. Don’t remember a single other thing. I do, however, remember living that everyone, even my Dad, was at home together. I remember having a lovely roast dinner AND a salad tea, with coleslaw which was a Christmas treat. I remember clementines and Quality Street and always watching The Great Escape. The smell of sherry and the hideous garish fool decorations all attached to the ceiling m,fanning outwards from the light shade in the middle. And making paper chains every year . And I loved it! They’ll be fine OP.

bloodywhitecat · 20/12/2022 16:58

Not now but I have been and, now the kids are adults, they look back on that Christmas with fondness. They never knew how badly off we were at that time, their gifts were secondhand and we couldn't even run to a turkey that year or the rest of the traditional gubbins but they remember a day spent together, playing games and watching crap TV together.

MyBooksAndMyCats · 20/12/2022 16:58

How old are they?

Please don't feel bad. Do you have any board games? get them out and make memories; that's what the kids will remember not what's under the tree.

MamaFirst · 20/12/2022 16:58

Have you considered second hand? It's quite late in the day now, but you can often find good quality books and toys on fb marketplace, ebay, charity shops.

POr you could get creative and make something home made they would love. Is there anything they are really into, like a film or series? You could make vouchers/tickets/matching food suggestion and have a celebration day for inbetween Christmas and New Year. I'm thinking Harry Potter, something Disney or a favourite TV programme - no idea how old they are, but age appropriate obviously.

Or you could make a jar of wishes with tokens for all kinds of free and cheap activities - baking, home cinema, treasure hunt, decorate a cake competition, Teddy bears picnic etc?

CakeCrumbs44 · 20/12/2022 16:59

There are toy collections for people having dufficulty I know Lidl and Salvation army do this but don't know who to approach for help
I think it will be too late for this, and you usually have to be referred e.g. by the school, health visitor, social services etc.

CakeCrumbs44 · 20/12/2022 17:00

Good idea about asking on Facebook marketplace, I have quite a few toys that my kids have grown out of and would be happy to pass them on to someone who needed it if they were local.