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Original poster

Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

772 replies

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

OP posts:
Hesma · 11/12/2022 06:25

Mean

RayRay9 · 11/12/2022 06:30

Sorry. This is one without mistakes. Sorry I am dyslexicic.

Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?
RedHelenB · 11/12/2022 06:46

PurpleWisteria1 · 10/12/2022 20:01

Not for many people no. When I was a child Father Christmas brought everything on Xmas morning. As a child of the 80’s it was the same for every friend I knew.
I continue that with my kids. Father Christmas brings everything. It works for us.

Show quote history

I did too. I never get the Father Christmas brings the presents but I pay for them either. Just have the magic, they don't believe for long and some of my favourite memories are scrabbling around kast minute for the one thing they know father Christmas is going to bring them because they'd written that in their letter ( but hadn't bothered to tell me when I'd asked what was on their list) In fact it kept them believing a bit longer when they got a more expensive present they knew I wouldn't buy for them.

loudbatperson · 11/12/2022 06:54

Isn't this the sort of video that gets posted on SM every year. It's awful, and the parents do it just for "likes" to fill their ever growing need for validation. I really worry about the impact on the future generations mental health of growing up with parents who share their entire childhood online.

It's cruel and completely unnecessary, particularly when the other kids are getting expensive presents.

MrsSchadenfreude · 11/12/2022 08:15

Santa didn’t bring big presents in our house. He brought things that went in stockings - new pants and socks, chocolate, sweets, crayons, pens, puzzle books, paper, small toys, board games. We did buy ours an iPad one year, and hid them behind the tree to be “discovered” later, but they had no idea they were getting them.

CheeseandGherkins · 11/12/2022 08:24

Mean. Also something they will remember for the rest of their life, and not in a good way. Why would you want to ruin their Christmas by doing this? Either get an iPad or don't, pretending is just horrible and I don't think you'll be teaching them anything.

ImNotBella · 11/12/2022 08:51

reesewithoutaspoon · 10/12/2022 23:39

Its not just mean is abusive. Deliberate emotional cruelty to a child .
Emotional abuse is still abuse and just as damaging as hitting a child.

My thoughts too!

Jaybird43 · 11/12/2022 09:08

Mean. My DS is 9 and still believes. 9 is still a child!!!

MrsWhites · 11/12/2022 09:11

Unbelievably mean, you don’t teach a child to be ‘humble’ by ruining their Christmas Day!

AbreathofFrenchair · 11/12/2022 09:17

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

It seems mean, especially as you've created that tradition for your house that Santa brings expensive main presents.

Is this some sort of weird thing you are trying to do to get him to stop believing?

Jaybird43 · 11/12/2022 09:19

@AFewScrewsLucy sorry, I just read all your updates and realised it’s your friend wanting to do this, and not you. Yes, it is incredibly mean to the poor child and they are at the age where they will see their brother and sister open their gifts from Santa and think that they did something awful as to not receive a gift.

I sincerely hope your friend re-thinks this idea. It’s not kind and it’s not fair to play a trick like this on a child.

Dreamwhisper · 11/12/2022 09:54

I haven't RTFT and probably don't need to post as I can see there are 16 pages of replies!

But yes it's mean. Not only because it's just mean, but because it doesn't follow any logic, as in it's not a logical consequence to the behaaviour.

The thing to do would have been to tell your 9yo that Santa doesn't bring tech like that. My 7yo asked for a laptop (which she doesn't need as we have every other device under the sun and a home desktop) and I simply said Santa doesn't bring things like that! And then followed through with other nice gifts that you wanted to give.

It sounds like you have fed your child information and failed to manage their expectations, and then blamed your child for that instead of yourself. If you've brought them up to believe in Santa and told them or let them believe that Santa can bring anything they ask for, is it fair to then blame the child for their assuredness that Santa will bring the present they asked for?

WaddleAway · 11/12/2022 09:57

Dreamwhisper · 11/12/2022 09:54

I haven't RTFT and probably don't need to post as I can see there are 16 pages of replies!

But yes it's mean. Not only because it's just mean, but because it doesn't follow any logic, as in it's not a logical consequence to the behaaviour.

The thing to do would have been to tell your 9yo that Santa doesn't bring tech like that. My 7yo asked for a laptop (which she doesn't need as we have every other device under the sun and a home desktop) and I simply said Santa doesn't bring things like that! And then followed through with other nice gifts that you wanted to give.

It sounds like you have fed your child information and failed to manage their expectations, and then blamed your child for that instead of yourself. If you've brought them up to believe in Santa and told them or let them believe that Santa can bring anything they ask for, is it fair to then blame the child for their assuredness that Santa will bring the present they asked for?

If you had read the thread (or even just the OP’s posts, which is easy to do), you’d see that it isn’t the OP who is suggesting doing this. It’s her friend, and the OP disagrees with it.

Dreamwhisper · 11/12/2022 10:00

WaddleAway · 11/12/2022 09:57

If you had read the thread (or even just the OP’s posts, which is easy to do), you’d see that it isn’t the OP who is suggesting doing this. It’s her friend, and the OP disagrees with it.

Show quote history

Yes okay fair enough if I had read the many updates I would have seen that, but the OP knows it's not her and she was clearly looking for responses to the situation which I have given; it doesn't really change my thoughts just change "you" for "her". 🙄

The OP could have said it wasn't her, obviously people are going to respond as such until they see the update.

WaddleAway · 11/12/2022 10:02

Dreamwhisper · 11/12/2022 10:00

Yes okay fair enough if I had read the many updates I would have seen that, but the OP knows it's not her and she was clearly looking for responses to the situation which I have given; it doesn't really change my thoughts just change "you" for "her". 🙄

The OP could have said it wasn't her, obviously people are going to respond as such until they see the update.

Show quote history

She did say it wasn’t her, in her subsequent posts. I don’t understand people using forums who only read the OP then think their comment, 16 pages later, is going to contain some new and insightful information that no one else has thought of.

Luredbyapomegranate · 11/12/2022 10:03

Twattish.

Surely anyway Father Christmas just brings small sticking presents, else how do your kids thank people for their presents??

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 11/12/2022 10:03

I personally think it was op but didn't come clean after seeing the responses!

Dreamwhisper · 11/12/2022 10:04

@WaddleAway Oh bore off does it really matter? If you're deliberately ambiguous in your OP some people might accidentally assume you're talking about yourself since most people are. As said it doesn't change the content of my post literally at all.

Dreamwhisper · 11/12/2022 10:05

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 11/12/2022 10:03

I personally think it was op but didn't come clean after seeing the responses!

Exactly! Always be suspicious of online "asking for a friend" posts, especially if they didn't point that out from the outset. 😅

Dreamwhisper · 11/12/2022 10:06

who only read the OP then think their comment, 16 pages later, is going to contain some new and insightful information that no one else has thought of

Also don't be such an arrogant asshole, do you think all of the 16 pages of posts before mine have all said unique things, or are they all pretty much just saying the same thing, that it's mean 🙄🙄

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 11/12/2022 10:06

Yes, if it really was the friend op would have said "my friend has told me this outrageous plan..." Not write the op to get a feel then say "oh it's for a friend".

Bollocks. It's the op and we all know it. But hopefully she might think about why she would do this based on the responses on here.

LindaEllen · 11/12/2022 10:17

That's just horrible. He will be upset for the whole of the day. Why would you want him to spend Christmas upset instead of thrilled over his gift?

DumpedByText · 11/12/2022 10:17

That's just vile and cruel, how someone can think this is OK is beyond me.

BeggyMitchell · 11/12/2022 10:36

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 11/12/2022 10:03

I personally think it was op but didn't come clean after seeing the responses!

Same !

shiningstar2 · 11/12/2022 11:06

Mean. Cruel actually. What profound lesson is he supposed to learn from this? My Dd and her children all believed in Santa past this age. Is this a cruel way to disillusion him about Santa? Why would you want him to watch his siblings get what they wanted and leave him sad and hurt all Christmas day. This is the kind of thing kids talk of with hurt and bewilderment the rest of their lives.