Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

[AFewScrewsLucy]

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

My childhood best friends parents did exactly this. We were 9 or 10

I went round to her house for half an hour before tea time on Xmas day. Her little sisters had massive piles of gifts. She had a few bits, nothing special. Then her mam "found" the ghetto blaster santa had hidden behind the settee

She tried so hard not to be upset but she was just a little girl.

Shitty, really shitty

No, no, no, no, no - just no!!!!

Though when my elder two (much older age than this) got concert tickets one Christmas, and eldest one opened her first, an evil genius took over my mind and I said to DC2, "we couldn't afford to get both of you tickets, so you've got the CD".... We all laughed when she opened her tickets, and we still do now.

This is just cruel though.

Don't ever pretend big gifts are from Santa. My DD aged 9 doesn't believe so this will probably be his last year. My daughter asked for a meta quest 2 this year it's £500 we managed to get it a lot cheaper using some savvy tricks and discount codes. She has saved birthday money towards it and has £250 from us. With all the discounts and savings she will only have to reimburse us £80. I said to my DH perhaps we should let her keep it but DH says she needs to learn the value of money. She's also going snowboarding on the 27th December which costs lots of money.

Is your friend going to also film the child's reaction and post it to thicktok? I'm struggling to see why the child needs to be 'humbled' if their siblings are also getting relatively expensive main gifts.

Its not just mean is abusive. Deliberate emotional cruelty to a child .
Emotional abuse is still abuse and just as damaging as hitting a child.

I think it’s lovely that the child still believes 😊

Holy shit.

The kid will definitely learn a lesson. Not a good one.

Yes. The deliberateness of it. It's a 9 year old child. She will never forget the feeling.

I don't think Father Christmas would bring kids ipads. He brings little toys and stuff doesn't he?

I don’t understand what this is supposed to teach?

surely dc happiness at getting the iPad they want is more important than you getting the credit for it?

Sorry just read not your dc.
Id tell your friend that it’s a bit mean

This, it's just so cruel

Awful thing to do. Sounds like emotional abuse to me.

I'm not sure it is possible to teach an 18 year old, let alone a 9 year old, to be more humble. Children don't understand the value of money at all. This is a ridiculous idea.

Who the fuck thinks this is OK?
I have a hundred soured Xmas memories from an abusive parent. I am the queen of Xmas and my kids only have good xmas memories. why would you do this on purpose to your child

Really horrible. Don't know what the parents are thinking but it isn't coming from a loving place.

Well, it’ll teach the child how spiteful their mother is. What a life lesson to get at the age of 9.

This is really weird, I’d ditch the friend who’s doing this to their child. It’s really odd.

Not just mean but dreadfully mean. Does she not like this child? Does she genuinely want to ruin their Xmas day. Horrible.

Mean, and the problem isn't that the child isn't humble.

The problem is you've left it really late to tell the truth about Santa.

Why didn't you do the sensible thing and break the news gently when they were 7 or 8?

When the gifts start getting expensive it's the parent's job to manage expectations and the best way to start on this is to do The Talk about Santa.

Very mean

You are mean. Why would you even think about doing this to your child? Why haven't you taught them these things with conversation and not bullying schemes? Did your parents bully or over control you? You need to learn that you're supposed to be their no. 1 champion. I hope Santa leaves you some parenting books under the tree.

Look. As adults we clip our little angel's wings as they grow up, as we untroduce them see the cruelty in the world. Your child is too young to be told. However. As a poor person I can give you advice despite not having kids (niece and nephews). You receive a letter from Santa. That way your child can begin to understand financial limitations and you can keep the magic of Christmas while getting the ‘credit’ prese for the larger fists. Hope this helps. Don't ruin Christmas. X

By they way. Any one feel free to use the letter. I wrote it off the top of my head.