Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

[AFewScrewsLucy]

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

That is mean. A whole day of disappointment just to make a point.

If this is the intention of a friend of yours please please show her this thread.

Mean and a way to create a lifelong horrible memory for the child.
Show the parent this thread, please.

My brother's main present was a bike one year. We lived on the top floor of some Army flats, and Father Christmas left the bike outside the front door of the flat, on the landing. My younger brother and I got our main presents, and D was obviously disappointed thinking he hadn't got a main present. My Dad then asked him to take all the wrapping paper down to the bin, which he did, twice, each time missing the bike parked outside the door! Eventually my dad "found" a note from Father Christmas to D, telling him where his present was, and he was obviously very pleased. D is 71 now, and still remembers that as the year Father Christmas forgot to get him a main present....and doesn't remember getting the bike at all.
Don't do it.

So mean. I’m all for cultivating appreciation and the value of things, but giving their siblings their main presents in the morning while leaving them to think they missed out is just unkind

na I let everything come from Santa regardless. I just say we have to send money to him but he makes them and delivers them

The point of realisation for the child, together with the gratitude will come sooner than the parent is ready for.

I see the point. I don’t think it’s mean per say, but I think it’s bursting a very big bubble perhaps before either are ready for it to be burst! (& for the little ones!)

Pointless and cruel why would anyone even think of doing that

How mean

Or at the very least an explanatory letter from
Father Christmas with an explanation about not being able to provide a warranty for such items and an understanding that parents had bought the item instead!
don’t keep the child waiting all day & suggest a conversation has taken place.

What sort of mother would want to teach their child on Xmas day a lesson like this. Clearly an abuse of power and so very sad 😢

What a nasty thing to do, the child is just excited.

That’s really mean and also, Santa buys the smaller presents, no way is he getting the credit for the big ones 🤣

Really mean! Also, when you said you can’t afford it and they said Santa will get it I took this to be them understanding that you can’t get it and instead of making a fuss telling you it’s ok because Santa can bring it.

This isn't the way to make your child appreciate things. They are 9 and believe that santa brings the gifts. If you want the credit and appreciation for the big gifts rather than santa then you ought to explain to your child that a santa only gets some gifts and the big pressies are from you. If you can't afford an item again make it clear that only a few bits come from santa, maybe just Stockings or one gift.

What you are planning to do is as good as telling them santa isn't real today and spoiling the magic and wonder of Christmas for them. M

Mean and very odd. Who leaves ipads in trees?

Santa brings the stockings in our house. And one present. Certainly nothing electronic or super expensive. They should understand that people make an effort to buy them gifts and not think they all come from some mythical beardy man.
Give them something else from santa and make sure they know that you've bought the ipad because some kids will never get an ipad and you wouldn't want them to think that he can get them for some people.
Also, maybe your 9yo is testing to see if there is a santa.

Mean

Unfortunately it seems Father Christmas bringing everything always leads to so many issues, in our house he fills up their sacks with smaller presents & the bigger/more expensive things come from us. You can then explain to kids why things haven’t arrived due to money etc.

All seems pointless doesn’t it? If they get the iPad later because it was ‘misplaced’ it’s teaching them nothing anyway, apart from to search the presents better! I’m not really sure what your friend is trying to achieve, if they’ve told the kids that santa brings a big present then it’s not unreasonable for the kid to ask for and expect a big present…

What a bitch of a mother. Poor kiddos under her care

I would tell the child Santa isn't real and you can't afford it. Though this clearly isn't true since the iPad has been bought.

Absolutely insane.
Stop letting santa take all the credit and teaching your children that he brings whatever they want. Santa brings small gifts, have you ever seen the elves making iPads etc on the films? No. The big expensive gifts are from you and you can ensure your children know exactly how much they cost and how bloody lucky they are. They'll go back to school telling their friends in January what Santa bought them and what will that do the kids who got very little.

Sorry that’s really mean. Especially as your other children will be getting theirs. You can teach this in other ways.

Mean and unnecessary.

If you can’t afford it then why is he getting it? That’s the bit of the lesson that’s wrong. And it’s you that needs to learn that lesson.

I can’t believe all the presents come from Santa. Why does some mystical fat man get all the credit. We do stockings from Santa. Much easier to manage expectations.