What to say to child when you can’t afford the ‘main’ gift?

[UnTrussworthy]

My 4yo DD has asked for a particular present this year. One toy, that’s she’s been asking for for months and months since she seen it.

We can’t afford it, at all. It’s too expensive with the cost of living crisis so we just can’t do it.

DD believes that Father Christmas makes all the toys before they’re given to the shops to sell and that’s why he can afford to give presents to all the boys and girls who have been good.

I did try and brush it off when she mentioned it after realising there’s no chance we can get it. I said Father Christmas might not be able to bring her a present like that this year and if there was anything else she could ask for. She said she asked if she had been a good girl and I said she has but sometimes Father Christmas gets to pick what he brings, which she just got upset and thought she had been bad because now he doesn’t want to bring her said toy.

What can I say that A- keeps the magic and B- doesn’t make her think she’s not been good enough to deserve it. I am so filled with guilt worrying about her little face on Christmas when she thinks she’s coming down to the toys she’s asked for and she isn’t.

Hello everyone
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Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really everything works out soon.

Where abouts are you? There is one on marketplace near me for £8.

If you look up the website Modanisa (from which someone has pasted a link to a bargain new kitchen upthread) on Trustpilot the reviews are very poor. I’d hate to think of OP losing her money on that.
Please also consider that a genuine poster sharing that link and the owner of a scammy site sharing the link to drive traffic there would look very, very similar.

The story I told my children is Santa is very old and has limited amount of money as he lives on a pension , basically the elf’s do the shopping now because of there being so many children. They might have to get you something similar.

when they asked for something really out of my reach ….. “well Santa is on a pension and he asks parents to pay and he delivers. So I cant pay Santa to deliver”
I lived in those days on a very very tight budget eBay was my go to place. As for the stocking suggestion couldn’t pull that one of on mine as one said well a Nintendo ds is a small present!

Good luck with what ever you decide. Hopefully this might make you smile my youngest 8 at the time wanted a real Tardis and Santa could make him one, well I replied but Santa can’t do that a Tardis is grown not made and it takes hundreds of years. My youngest was very understanding of that so I suggested making one out of a cardboard box, he loved it 🥰.

It seems hard, but it is a common dilemma. Explain the elves can only make certain things and parents bring the other things. You do not have the money to buy what the elves can not make.

My DD used to make up toys that did not exist and ask for them for months and months. Of course she never got them. A friend of hers who lived in a tower block asked for a horse every single year. She also did not get it.

Don't worry about changing the story. She is 4 years old. They believe the unbelievable.

Gumtree have quite a few ranging from £15 but depends on where u are based. I would also place an add on freecycle for wanted. Bound to be someone who is about to bin one in the clear out before Christmas and u might get lucky. I’m sure your DD will continue to believe, they get so swept up in the moment. My dd has asked for a Barbie Dreamhouse for a couple of years and we cannot justify the cost. When she sees her gifts she totally forgets. She does however still want one. We tell her that it’s a very big gift and Santa might not be able to manage it but would always try his best. We tried to do the stockings from Santa, presents from us as that’s how I grew up but she tends to just think it’s all from Santa 😂 we don’t get a look in!

Maybe...
Minnie mouse= plastic. F Christmas only makes wooden.

Find a decent used wooden one on Facebook, next door, ebay.

Where are you based @UnTrussworthy?

What about a cheap white wood similar shape (perhaps add bits from hobby craft to the right shape) paint pink add glitter to the paint and get some Minnie stickers to add. Put battery lights on possibly primark might have Minnie Mouse ones, I think they also do kitchen bits as well (for us big kids) , On Xmas day when she opens gasp and say omg you got the new one and it’s been upgraded, wow Santa did a brill job , these accessories will work in our big kitchen as well! I’m so pleased for u Santa must have known how well you’ve been doing in school??

As you can prob tell I have told the kids some huge exaggerations of why Santa can’t do blah blah blah. Oh and a letter from Santa explaining why can’t do blah blah. Best one is if you ask someone close very deep voice Santa sounding to call you on your mobile you have to change their name Id to Santa Claus in your phone then they tell the child the issue with elf’s and supply and suggest an alternative which will be better.

I really hope you manage to find a second hand one. It's hard when they have specific ideas on what they want! My eldest dd didn't asked for much (still doesn't at 14) but you could see the disappointment in her eyes if it wasn't right even though she would be saying thank you and being really grateful. So I always went second hand and had to carefully manage her expectations. I've had to make up many stories over the years to keep the magic alive, from inexperienced Elves, the reindeer ate the instructions on how to make that toy, trainee Elves.

Santa rules here were
• no live animals, santa doesn't want poo in the sleigh. Plus the different animals might fight, eat each other or scare the reindeer mid flight.
• no electronics - the elf magic in the North Pole interferes with it, plus those tricksy elves might replaces wires with candy canes or sweetie laces!
• you can't ask for too much as he has lots of children to bring toys to, he will bring 1 toy from your wishlist and a stocking.

These were all easy to understand from a young age, the poo in the sleigh and silly Elves not understanding electronics always made them laugh when they were little! And no problems with believing dd2 is now 10 and still believes.

Op if you don’t have any luck would this be something she would be happy with its Minnie Mouse and a working sink I had a plain one for my daughter when she was younger and it was her favourite she’s loved the working water !
www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/toys/magical-disney-gifts/minnie-mouse/minnie-s-happy-helpers-magical-sink-disney-junior/p/175896?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=surfaces_across_google&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIs_Gcr4zy-gIV4ejtCh3tyQRPEAQYByABEgJFWPD_BwE

Just an update for those interested - I didn’t get a message back from Minnie kitchen on marketplace, we didn’t get a message back so I messaged another slightly further out and we’ve secured a Minnie kitchen.. or semi secured as we’re not collecting until next week 🙈 It’s a bit further to travel than we would have liked but it’s not awful, and it will be worth it to see DD’s face on Christmas morning 🤭

Its too early to wish you all a Merry Christmas, So.. Happy Halloween will have to do!

Glad you found one!

It might help to change to what I do. DS is 5 and I tell him he writes a list and Santa likes there to be a surprise so will pick one thing from his list. He cannot write just ome thing, needs to be several. That way, easier to steer towards something more affordable, or in my case already purchased!

I love this, especially reindeer eating instructions!

Santa only brings things you don't already have, so if she already has a kitchen he won't bring another.

If your DD is like me it's either that specific thing or nothing, not a different kitchen.

Anyway you will be going to the parents and chief elves meeting soon where the chief elf, Jessica, will go through what type of things are available so you can ask for a kitchen but it might not be the specific one because a little girl who doesn't have a kitchen at all.

You could even set up an email account and send an email from Jessica.

My kids have never got the big present they've asked for. On the day they are too excited about the other things they got instead. If they do remember that they asked for something else I just say Santa must have run out. It's not a big deal.

Fantastic news!!

I never told mine that good kids get gifts. Not a good idea to tie Christmas gifts to behaviour. Kids know that bad kids get good gifts, and they can work out that such things are unfair. I'd stick to Santa bringing a stocking - that way you won't get tangled up like you did this time.

Fantastic new @UnTrussworthy!

Happy very-early-Christmas 🎄🎅🏻

I've always been vague and said sometimes he can't do it. I've just aimed for at least one thing off the list that we can afford and lots of surprises because he has a lot of children to buy for

I mean get toys forward!! Not buy.

Yy badger we did something like that also.

OP why can't you get one of the ones that @00100001 found for you. They are literally all over UK. Most for £40 and some less. Could you not travel to nearest one and get it for her. You said she is a good little girl?

@UnTrussworthy

How much was it compared to new? Mine have had years of second hand and never batted an eye ( good quality second hand).
That's wonderful you did get it . .