The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Ive just received this book and I’m really impressed with it, if anyone has veggies or non-dairy people to cater for. Loads of mains to choose from, and it’s proper cupboard ingredients repeated in multiple recipes instead of weird vegan alchemy.
I’m looking forward to planning a menu now!

Where do you get your unscented candles from?

Feel like I’m getting in to the swing of things now. Christmas cake is in the oven. I do the BBC good food buttered rum one only this year I’ve used some sort of honeycomb whiskey so fingers crossed. I did 1.5 times the recipe so have a Bundt tin which I’m pretty excited to decorate like a wreath (sadly not one of the gorgeous Nordic ware ones). The Bundt is out but the other is under the hopefully watchful eye of my mother in law whilst I put children to bed. It’s for my lovely neighbours so I hope she remembers to check on it!!

Made my mincemeat earlier too and hoping to get pastry and gingerbread in to the freezer this week. Although I did remember earlier that we’re celebrating my eldest daughters birthday this weekend so I’ll need to find time to make that cake too!

Mother in law turned the oven off but didn’t actually check the cake so I’ve just put the not quite cooked cake back in the oven 🙄

HoHoJo good job Christmas cake is usually pretty forgiving. I’ve had to do that myself before now.

I have done a Christmas window with snow spray and no stencils ever since watching it done on Kirsty Allsop's Homemade Christmas and sniggering, wondering who on earth has got the time. Cue me, a weekend later, spending hours on something I definitely can't spare the time on!

Oh that's really lovely@LoveSomeChristmasPoncing.

The above photo is blurry though as I could only post a screenshot of it, not the original for some reason.

@BeastOfBODMAS thank you for posting that book I'll get that for my dad and his wife

Hello, I'm new to Christmas Poncing. I didn't think I'll make any poncey food or drink as DH/DD won't consume it and I dislike fruit cake.

I have knitted two mini stockings and now envisage a tree decorated with them 😍🤣

They are my first successful attempt at using double pointed needles too. I didn't get the cuff right on the first and the second is too tight so I will make some more

Love them!
You could knit a matching hat as a tree topper

Just dusted off these crochet little birds from a pattern on Attic24 website.

One is spring like so on its way south. 😁

We are about to get a new composite door fitted. We have a nail in our old wooden door for a wreath. How on earth do I hang it now? Does anyone know? The salesman suggested getting a door knocker on it, but then people will use it instead of the doorbell and we wouldn't be able to hear it in most of the house.

Does anyone here have a good solution?!

Tried making some reusable gift bags today with the children. They are pretty wonky, but with practice we will get better. First time dusting off the sewing machine in about 10 years.

We are about to get a new composite door fitted. We have a nail in our old wooden door for a wreath. How on earth do I hang it now? Does anyone know? The salesman suggested getting a door knocker on it, but then people will use it instead of the doorbell and we wouldn't be able to hear it in most of the house.

Does anyone here have a good solution?!

Command hooks are your friend.

@Soscrewed I have an over the door hanger thing for my wreath. It's a metal strip thing that hooks over the top of the door and curves up at the other end so you can hang the wreath on it.

A Command Hook ,as DifficultBloodyWoman says but…. Inside and upside down. Loop a ribbon and hang it over the door to the wreath outside. A sort of mix of the last two ideas.
I have had to make a cardboard and felt backing for mine as DH was panicking about his (!) new door getting scratched.
I put the hook on the glass panel in the door ( see previous reason)

I knitted these a few years ago to amuse the grandchildren.

We are about to get a new composite door fitted. We have a nail in our old wooden door for a wreath. How on earth do I hang it now? Does anyone know? The salesman suggested getting a door knocker on it, but then people will use it instead of the doorbell and we wouldn't be able to hear it in most of the house.

We use a hook with a sucker pad on the end. A decent sized substantial one.

These crafts are fab! I love to see the pics. The Santa clothes are especially funny

I love this thread. Hopefully puts off the killjoys who want to call all chat about Christmas fun "insensitive" or "tone deaf".

I'm mega pregnant with a toddler and still working FT until the new year, so this year I'm hanging up my ponce and leaving all to the men around me. The ponce will be lacking so I'm going to soak it up vicariously here. Pictures please!

Definitely the upside down command hook on the inside of the door for wreath hanging. Only disadvantage is that is does allow the wreath swing in the wind a bit, so be aware of this if the wreath has the potential to scratch the door.

Those Santa clothes amused me @Trumpton!

We have a wreath holder like this, it just hooks over the door, we had an upside down command hook on the inside of our old door but this is easier (although it does move about a bit occasionally).

www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=wreath+door+holder&adgrpid=1180876386826008&hvadid=73804981421764&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=131613&hvqmt=e&hvtargid=kwd-73804910278675%3Aloc-188&hydadcr=18509_2233963&tag=mh0a9-21&ref=pd_sl_px64p898d_e

Thanks for all the wreath hanging ideas. Sounds like command hooks are the way forward. I'm not sure whether something handing over from the back of the door will work, so I guess q command hook on the front is they way forward.

I knew you all would understand- my husband thinks this is a mad worry. But you can't have Christmas without a door wreath!