The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@lucysmam I think I saw mirrored trays very like the second photo (without the glasses) in ALDI very recently. Can’t remember how much they were, though.

We usually use chestnuts for the sprouts - we do something in the vein of sprouts/pancetta/chestnuts/dried cranberries. Just sautéed all together in plenty of butter or olive oil, cranberries scattered over at the end.

You've just reminded me that I've been hankering after a magnolia 'Susan' tree from our local nursery for years. Mum keeps asking me what I want for Christmas so I think I'll take the opportunity to finally get one as a gift from her. I also need to replace my Rose Dawn that an over zealous ex gardener killed after cutting it back to ground level (after saying to me that he would 'just take it back to about the same height as the water butt')

Also, I'm going to raid the pink crab apple tree next to DDs school and make crab apple jelly. I remember 3 of us lugging about 10 kilos of crab apples to my primary school back in the day. The kitchen staff showed me and a couple of friends how to make the jelly. I was so shocked that we only got about 8 jars from all those apples.

Finally, I've got a 10ft Christmas tree in my front garden which was originally a little thing in a pot. I bought it from Sainsbury's for a fiver when DD was born 11 years ago. I saw some similar ones outside B&M this week - about a foot and a half tall. Feeling nostalgic, I went to check the price tags and was rather taken aback to see they were £30!

I love trees and shrubs 😊 I'm not one for bunches of flowers at all. As my old Nanna used to say, "Plants should be in the ground"

Thanks @TangledWebofMincemeatDeception I'm not sure where our closest Aldi is so will have a google and see. I thought I'd try 2nd hand but our charity shops are not brilliant. Although there were 3 glass, chicken shaped, egg cups in BHF (I think)...I may have to check for them again next week 🤔

Oh yes, I always check charity shops first! Wilko might have something. ASDA also likely to have some (at least going by their homewards stock the last time I was in one, which tbf was about a year ago so actually don’t know what they have in now).

I saw a cake decorating turntable the other day but decided against. Could really have used it today when I made a three-tier cake... 🙄 Might have to go in on Monday to see if it’s still there.

You can shop Aldi online too!

@RainbowZebraWarrior we inherited a Magnolia Stellata with our house, which just I love!

www.aldi.co.uk/round-gold-drinks-tray/p/720828655088100

Here's the Aldi mirrored drinks tray. £16.99

I had no idea Aldi were online that could be dangerous thanks for the link!

There's this tray at Asda, too.

Gold Tray

Faux foliage wreath I’ve done this evening. I’m going to add some real eucalyptus to it just before hanging it in earth December. Quite pleased as it’s just bits and bobs I’ve found around the house, so free to make!
The children also wrote their letters to Father Christmas today which felt lovely and festive

@TheWoollybacksWife we're calling into big Asda on Tuesday evening, after a college open day, so I'll have a look for it in person then.

Have any of you made napkin rings in the past? I've decided we need a properly set table this year so have some nice red napkins and have spied a gold runner in Primark that I plan to buy next weekend.

I cooked the Dried Pear Loaf from Advent by Anya Dunk. When I first saw recipe it reminded me of Bara Brith - soak dried fruit in tea, stir in other ingredients and bake. Very easy.

I did panic a bit as there was no butter or egg. I used wholemeal spelt instead of plain flour and dark rye flour. Mixing it I thought it was going to be a fail but then it came together.

it’s served with a cheeseboard in the Tyrol apparently and it is perfect with cheese. It’s dense, very dark and fruity but cuts well. The slices are small. I’ve put a teaspoon in pic for scale.

it has 500g fruit (pears, prunes, figs, raisins, although I used sultanas) and only 150g flour and 60g dark brown sugar (not that it needs much sugar with all that fruit) plus walnuts (I used pecans). Plus cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves.

anyway, she said to leave for at least a week or more before eating but I cut a slice or three once it had cooked. It’s long and thin, the length of a baking tray so I might freeze half.

HannahDefoesTrenchcoat
That's very similar to the Slimming World recipe that I use as a Christmas cake. It has dried fruit soaked in tea, one egg, and flour. It's not as sweet as a standard rich fruit cake.

I think it might be a good solution for us - we had decided against a Christmas cake this year. But then I dithered and thought I’d quite like a little one, so was going to bake a 15cm cake. However this sounds better and I’m keen to try something new. Seems like I might need the book after all...

I got the Advent book yesterday and that was one of the recipes that appealed. I think with cheese would be amazing

@bigbadbarry that’s what really appeals to me - we eat our Christmas cake with cheeses.

Recipe from Advent by Anya Dunk

Yes it would work as an alternative, especially with cheese. It doesn’t look as crisp obviously but it has the spices. When it was baking and I was panicking I looked up other recipes and some included rum. I guess you could include a bit of rum or brandy for more Christmas flavour? Even squiggle a thin line of icing, or a dusting of icing sugar, some holly leaves and a Robin like a Christmas log.

it tastes like a delicious, high end, home made fruit and nut bar/ball but with the fruits roughly chopped. I had a slice with Philadelphia on for breakfast 😋

Oh my have I found my people? Lurked for a week or so reading through this thread and am glad to have people to share my excitement with.
@HintofVintagePink your wreath is incredible! I only wish mine will be that stylish.
@Happyface120 I'd be really keen to see your wooden advent calendar when it's decorated. I've been eying those up for a couple of years but my painting skills aren't the best and I can't decide how I'd make it look festive and stylish.

I've requested the 'Christmas Mystery' book from the library, thanks whoever suggested that, and might get the Slater 'Christmas Chronicles' as a present for my Mum/add it to my list.

Mincemeat was made with DC1 a couple of weeks ago. Need to make a list of the other baking/cooking prep I want to do. I don't have lots of time (2 under 2.5) but last year I was finishing off some christmas sewing whilst in the hospital waiting for DC2 so I'm sure I'll squeeze something in. Felt playmats for the little ones have been cut out so far...

Questions...
Has anyone made chocolate salami before? How did it go? Worth doing?
Anyone made Swedish chocolate balls and have a good recipe, before I scour the internet? I had one earlier this year and fell in love. Apparently they're a Christmas thing.

Happy Sunday poncing everyone.

Made Broccoli and Stilton soup today for over Christmas.
The dgc and I made Chantilly Meringue ice cream on Friday. We will have that served with melted Mars Bar sauce over the holidays.

Please can I come to your house for Xmas, @Trumpton ?

i'm going to attempt Tumnocks tea cake icecream, had it in Scotland last weekend and it was delicious!

Thanks @kniteatrepeat !
I saw something yesterday I’d like to try. Miniature meringues piped in a wreath shape and hung with a ribbon. So pretty and a lovely alternative gift to cookies.

This ice cream sounds beautiful!

I love soup and making them but neither DH or DC are that keen on them so I don’t often do it.

@Trumpton thank you for the paper white advice. I looked up this thread hoping you were on it and had posted about them. I remembered you plant them on Remembrance Sunday but couldn't remember the rest so I've done my mum's with her today.