The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Some excellent poncing. I have made the cake,made plum brandy and have chilli oil ready to decant into little flasks. Need to dry whole chillis to add for decoration but dont fancy having the oven on for hours to dry them.

Although could dry orange slices at same time for wreath,I suppose.

@kiwi17 your son's stocking matches very nicely! Poncing well done 🌟

The 'thistles' are Eryngium (common name Sea Holly) They dry beautifully - a little bit like Teasels. They keep their form / shape perfectly. Unlike Teasels, they maintain some of their blue colour, but you can also spray them white / copper or whatever to fit your colour scheme. Hang upside down for around a month and they will be good to go. Thank you so
Much for this information.

Ah thanks everyone! I also finally tracked down some pebbles in Hobby craft (thanks for that recommendation!) So am ready to go with the paperwhites!

@HannahDefoesTrenchcoat they look about the same size as the pathetic ones I scrumped from my grannys hedge a fortnight ago. Theres not much flesh on them but they add a certain something to apple compote (apples also scrumped!)

I might do that with apples and some little quince bits but must, must soak my Christmas cake fruit before I do anything else…

I'm quarter of the way through one of my fruit cakes already. I don't think its going to make it till xmas and I haven't even finished feeding it!!
I justify it by naming it the Trial Cake and baking 2 more whoppers at the same time. They make excellent gifts cut into smaller portions and I'd hate to give away a substand cake, hence a Trial Cake is most necessary. And is very useful to mitigate those moments where you get all overwhelmed with preparation.

God I wish I had done this, I would bloomin love a piece of Christmas cake right now!

A little behind on the poncing so far, but I have just had a lovely craft evening finishing some garlands to decorate our church. Quite pleased with these!

@VivaJen there's always next year!! In fact they get better with age so you could start making next years now!
I'm trying to resist the temptation to get a wedge for a midnight feast but it calls to me...

@HintofVintagePink those look fab! We hang a garland along the ceiling beam in our cottage but its looking a bit tired now. I keep thinking that i ought to ponce another one, you've inspired me to actually do it!

Hello ponceuses! Thanks to whoever suggested the Christmas Chronicles podcast a few pages back. I've been listening on my morning walks and they're delightful.

I've done hardly any poncing so far as we're just completing an extension so it's a daily battle to keep on top of the dust. However we will definitely be done by Christmas so I'm planning lots of home made decorations for December and until then I'll live vicariously through this thread.

Lovely garlands @HintofVintagePink !

I also wish I’d made a Trial Cake for quality control purposes now. Completely defeat the point of doing a loaf size this year as I’m the only one who eats it. I shall just have to start practicing mince pies instead.

I could do them today. My Viennese recipe calls for vodka to make the pastry crisp, but, it’s my DD’s first day at nursery and I’m sure I’ll end up on a List if I drop her off at 8.30 and immediately go and buy a bottle of vodka

Oh my word those garlands are gorgeous!

There's some first class poncing on this thread bravo to all ponceuses!

Wow, those garlands are so beautiful!❤

Those garlands are stunning

Oh thank you so much for the kind comments!

I love the idea of a trial cake. What an excellent notion 😇

Can the two boxes of Aldi maple and pecan tarts that I've nearly finished count as a trial cake?

my mum makes the Christmas cake because I'm not a fully grown ponceuse yet

My gift wrapping poncing has been sabotaged

@HintofVintagePink they really are impressive, would you be able to post a photo when they are up in the Church?

Yes of course. We are ‘poncing’ the church on 21 November in time for the first Sunday in Advent, so pics to follow!

Morning all poncers! I've almost finished cross stitching two stockings, just have to make them.up.into actual stockings now which I'm a bit wary of as I'm not really a seamstress. I've got a YouTube tutorial to follow so I'm sure it will all be fine!
I love my Christmas magazines but struggling to track down the ideal home complete guide to Christmas this year. Some of them are £7.99 this year which seems very extravagant.

Morning all.
I am going to try to make willow angels with local primary school this afternoon.
I have been out in the blustery wind and have cut willow and dogwood.