The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

There may be an old fashioned soda siphon and shaker up there too. I can't actually remember what I kept, apart from 5/6 of a set of glass cocktail sticks with cockrels on their tops.

I have a strip of 4 lights over my bedside cabinet (like film star lights ish iykwim) that were cheap as chips from Primark. They might be a bit bulky but maybe something along those lines 🤔

It might lend itself nicely to one of the little glass Christmas trees I've been eyeing up but had nowhere for, when it's done.

@glasshole the forest is beautiful. Maybe my shelf needs something like that 😍

If you don’t want fairy lights you could do the fake tealights and maybe pop a couple into some glasses/bottles/decanters/whatever. I think you can get programmable battery lights as well, so you don’t have to turn them on every evening. Oh yes a little glass Christmas tree would look great! Agree, @glasshole’s creations are beautiful!

The cocktail sticks sound fun!

@lucysmam

Maybe a mirrored tray to contain the bottles. Twine some greenery and some mini baubles along the edge of the tray and the edge of the shelf. (You could hide the smart meter at the back of the shelf and put the tray in front to disguise it)

Little wreaths facing each other on the walls or same sized pictures of similar themes with greenery draped over the frames.

Fairy lights.

Perfect if you've got a soda syphon and some glassware to add. I like the idea of a bonbonniere too.

(Not programmable exactly....that sounds expensive. But they have a timer. Cheap AFAIK because MIL got some last year and she hates spending)

Oh little mini baubles!! What a good idea.

I love charity shops at this time of year (any time really, but especially in the run-up to Christmas) - love a good hunt through the Christmas things for little hidden gems.

Today I resisted a little chocolate fondue set for 4. Might have to go back and get it...

Anyway what I meant to say is I found some great cut crystal pieces recently for just a few pounds.

(Sorry, don’t know why I can’t just write everything at once in one comment 🙄🙄)

I've had a think and I think the thistle and maybe the Scot's pine might dry ok

Any ideas on how to dry it while keeping their shape. Or should i press them

Wow @ShakeYourFeathers that’s a beauty! What a lovely thing to win. 😊

@ShakeYourFeathers

I've just watched the last episode of Gardener's World and there was a feature about making an autumn display. They were using dried cut flowers and dried them hanging from hooks over a beam in an outhouse/workshop. Could you find the episode on iplayer and see if there are any tips.

@TangledWebofMincemeatDeception it's absolutely gorgeous, can't believe I won it. It's on my line of sight as I type and I can't stop staring at it

@TheWoollybacksWife I will definitely check out that episode of Gardener's World. I love a bit of Monty Don. Thank you for the suggestion

This says just put them in jars until they are dry and then spray like you would the hydrangeas.

www.ehow.com/how_5649279_dry-thistle.html

Quinces, fire and old whippet

@HannahDefoesTrenchcoat did you buy those quinces or did you grow them? I'm on the lookout to make some quince jelly!

Curious after a bit of pondering the Nigel Christmas Chronicles thread decided they are ornamental quinces. They are from an annoying straggly bush in the garden and before this year I’d never really noticed them much less brought them in to be poncetastic.

I don’t think these would cook well as they are quite hard and thin of flesh.

The 'thistles' are Eryngium (common name Sea Holly) They dry beautifully - a little bit like Teasels. They keep their form / shape perfectly. Unlike Teasels, they maintain some of their blue colour, but you can also spray them white / copper or whatever to fit your colour scheme. Hang upside down for around a month and they will be good to go.

@HannahDefoesTrenchcoat dammit. I'm just going to have to plant a tree myself then! I guess its the ornamental flowering quince you've got? Bright red or pink blossom?

I’m not even sure about the flowers 😳
they may be pink? It’s next to a path on the side of the house.
they may even be yellow with sort of layers of petals? I will notice properly this spring.

Adding pictures of underwhelming straggly bush as proof.

I think this counts as poncing(?!) But I'm proud of myself today- we bought the stocking on the left at a craft fair 4 years ago for our daughter but today I managed to make a matchy one for our new son! 😁

Of course I have new ❤️ for the bush now I know it produces poncetastic/Rather Nigel fruit

Perfect Kiwi. How lovely to have a little peeps Christmas and very impressive to make the lovely stocking.

Did a bit of poncy wrapping today. I didn't have any paper straws so had to roll my own with paper chain paper and double sided tape. That’s proper poncing!
Also tried some Japanese wrapping with some bright pink silk I had been given as it was sun faded in places.

But I might re-do the one with a lot of strings, it looks a bit bondage !