The 2022 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2022 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Thanks for suggestions. Will trawl.

Try Northumberlandhoney.co.uk

Real beeswax is soooooooooo worth it. But be warned - you’ll never go back!

John Lewis Everyday brand has a selection and they are stocked in Waitrose or you can click and collect

www.johnlewis.com/search?search-term=pillar%20candles&suggestion=true

Two good tips! Thank you. Bet beeswax smells amazing

@DifficultBloodyWoman I do not want to look at that link, no I do not...

I gave up trying to post last night about my booze shelf woes...some weird pop-up thing kept happening!

Anywho, inspired by Nigel Slater's description of seasonal booze, I want to make my bog standard "shove it on the useless corner shelf" booze shelf more poncy (but year round ponce that I can then festively ponce iyswim).

After a scroll of Pinterest, it seems the answer is in fairy lights and decoration also removing alexa and the egg skelter and disguising the smart meter 🙄 It's a new wip! However, it did mean that crochet church did not get a look in last night 🤦‍♀️

Any ideas where to look for inexpensive accessories to adorn my shelf or make it look better?

@lucysmam can you post a photo of the shelf? Just to see what the starting point is.

Probably outing but have to share

I went to a flower arranging lecture/ seminars this evening which was slightly Christmas themed. I learnt such tricks as spraying polyeurathene on hydrangeas so that they shine more in wreaths.

I also won a Hogmanay themed arrangement in the raffle

Spraying hydrangeas and taking home a Hogmanay wreath - winning at poncing 🤶

I didn't win a wreath! It's a full on struggle to get in the car bigger than the dog arrangement. For some reason I can't post pictures on here



This is the raffle prize

Hogmanay arrangement sounds intriguing…

Lucysmum can you pick up some little crystal glasses and shiny bits from charity shops, ice tongs, nutmeg grater, cocktail shaker, citrus squeezer, sugar cube bowl, little metal tray? Cool looking little bottles like Angustora bitters, a little cocktail recipe book? I saw a little Christmas Drinks book in a charity shop this week?

and fairy lights of course

Wow shake that is beautiful. Just wondering what will dry for future arrangements?

lucysmam apologies. I see you’re mam not mum!

Wow shake that is beautiful. Just wondering what will dry for future arrangements?

Its even more gorgeous in the flesh. Any hints and tips on what to dry and how would be much appreciated.

All I can see that I can reuse again are the baubles, pine cones

The thistles might dry?

May I sit in a corner and take notes? I am the daughter of an expert poncer, but my own efforts have not been in the same league. But now the kids are older I've got more time plus 2 of them want to help. DS1 is more of a grinch but useful for reaching up high and carrying heavy things

I collect Christmas books and magazines so have lots of inspiration. And I've booked off every Friday between now and Christmas, plus the whole first week of December. Most excitingly, I have a whole new room to ponce as the kitchen extension is done and has space for a Christmas tree

@lucysmam for your booze shelf, I’d say a collection of interesting charity shop glassware for the fairy lights to bounce off. There’s always proper crystal decanters for a few pounds so you could re home spirits in ugly bottles.
Also get some Chambord in, it looks like a bauble and tastes lovely in French martinis

Thanks for the heads-up on beeswax. I dislike scented candles, even Diptych, but I do like the smell of beeswax. I bulk buy Ikea pillar candles because they're unsurpassed for value, and I have a glamping bothy that I let that doesn't have electricity. I'm trawling beekeeping sites that do rolled candles. I guess they might burn through more quickly though? Anybody had any experience?
Which has reminded me that I have Christmas lets so I'll need to ponce up the bothy too. Battery fairy lights in profusion, a wreath and a tiny tree if there's room. Lucky I'm a dedicated ponceuse.

I can help with this. I used to make and sell rolled beeswax candles (beekeeping family) The size is pretty standard as they are made from foundation sheets the same size as standard honey frames. I tested mine extensively over the years and a rolled candle will burn for approx 8 hours. I've attached a photo of one of mine just to confirm we are definitely talking about the same sort of thing 🐝

Yup, that's it exactly Rainbow. I did wonder if they didn't last but that's fine. I come from a beekeeping family and have always love the smell of beeswax. Did your family 'tell the bees'? I had to do it when my grandfather died. It felt like old magic.

I've been poncing hard this week. I got a few different boxes of mince pies and have decided that the Aldi millionaires are The Best . I've been eating one a day after lunch just to be sure, and I'm also fond of the frangipan ones.

I lusted over the John Lewis rainbow bauble garland but I can't afford £30 . I found a big pack of rainbow baubles in home and bargains for £10 so I'm going to make my own!

I've also made a stained glass star suncatcher and a pine forest tea light holder. They star is for me and the pine forest is for my mum.

Beautiful poncing!

Loving the term 'ponceuse ' further upthread!

@SirSamVimesCityWatch - those lights really remind me of Christmas at my Nan's! Can I ask where you got them from?

For those who asked (@TheWoollybacksWife I think it was you?) , attached is a pic of my shelf. Please excuse the mess, I'm waiting for a second spice shelf to arrive so I can move them.

I think the first thing to go needs to be the black! I don't think I've got anything that will cover it, but will be checking over the next day or two.

I did used to collect vintage glassware & think there may still be a box in the loft. If I can borrow some ladders, I will see if the girls' dad might go exploring up there for me.

Am I right in thinking one of you wanted some manuscript paper right back at the start of the thread? Maybe on the prelude thread? If so, would this be any use to you? I've had it kicking about for aaaaages and never got to using it 🤷‍♀️ It's about A1 in size I think.

Ohhh vintage glassware and fairy lights would make it so lovely! I quite like the black actually - a little string of lights would pop nicely against it.

Our drinks are on a trolley. I’ve put a little opaque glass lamp on the top shelf at the back so that it casts a gentle light through the bottles which looks lovely, it picks out the colours of the different drinks really well. The shelves are mirrored which adds to the effect. I’ve also placed on there a little cut glass bonbonniere and when I fill it with sweets it looks so pretty and colourful. I agree with pp that a bottle of chambord would look great (and taste great too!).

I think someone already suggested that you could get some nice barware to display as well, as long as you’d actually use it as I’m sure you’re keen to avoid pointless clutter. Or maybe you already have some that can be kept there. We keep our cocktail shaker on the drinks trolley. We bought it when we lived in our previous place and I wish we’d gone for copper not stainless steel as it would look fab against the dark blue wall...But it’ll do. 🙂