How do we deal with this gift?

[PAProblem]

I've NC as this is outing.
Short version: how do I deal with this passive aggressive gift?

Backstory. I'm the family black sheep, my DSiblings have always bullied, encouraged by my DParents.

When DH1 left me he saw DC for two years then DH met another woman and cut contact with DC. DC was devastated & acted out, nothing major, door slamming, being surly, grades slipped, took it out on me, etc.

DC is ok now, finished Uni, got a good job.

When DH2 met my family he was shocked and thought we should minimise contact, which is what I did anyway. *
*
Some years ago my siblings and I agreed that we would do presents for the DCs only. I've always been in favour of this, I only have 1 DC & they all have 2 or more, so it's not like this works to my advantage! I was just going along to get along.

We were surprised that DB and SIL had sent presents to me & DH this year. Inside a large box was a homemade hamper each for me & DH.

DH's hamper is quite nice, beer, chocolates, books.

My hamper contains some books about dealing with difficult teens, being a better parent, how to lose weight (!) etc. Also some Poundland style cleaning products.

SIL is very Mrs Hinch. Fair enough, my house has always been clean, I don't go in for those homemade cleaning product storage drawers, but my house is fine.

Normally I don't have anything to do with my siblings apart from sending presents to their DCs.

Should I send a present back? How do I respond to this?

Do nothing.

Thank her for the gift and then forget about it.

She wants a reaction. Don’t give her one.

How mean! Don't waste your time with people that just want to make you feel bad.

I'd give the hamper to the charity shop or slide it into the bin and send nothing back. You agreed on no adult presents - they have done this to get a rise out of you. Don't give them the satisfaction.

Buy presents for the people who love you and want you to be happy.

Blimey that is a bit passive aggressive! If it were me I'd just graciously thank her and not engage in any other way. I wouldn't even comment as she'd have the reaction that she probably wants.
You've obviously made the right decision not to be a part of their lives!

Just return them all. Without sufficient postage and say nothing.
They want a rise out of you so any message will be giving what they want.

Oh and I would just use a books for toilet paper or send to the charity shop for someone who might have a use for them! Use the cleaning products in time. Move on from their toxic antics!

They sound very unkind - have they done things like that before?
Probably jealous of you in some way

Regift next year.

set a match to it.

instead of a yule log, this can be a yule hamper.

Regift your books back to her.
You know you want to op!

Wow. Just ignore and be thankful you will never be this level of arsehole.
I would have nothing to do with them going forward.

@BluebellsGreenbells

Regift next year.

This

Nothing, do nothing. Just a thank you for your gift and move on

Honestly they'll be happy with ANY reaction so don't give them one.

Ignore. They want a reaction.....don't give them one.

Absolutely don’t engage. Don’t mention it, don’t thank them and certainly don’t buy them a gift. They don’t mean to be kind, they want a reaction. Stick to the agreement, but for dc and stay low contact.

@BluebellsGreenbells

Regift next year.

Definitely this!

Throw it away. Don’t acknowledge either hamper and cut all contact including sending gifts to her children. You don’t need people like this in your life

Ignore! And also cut off any contact. These people are clearly unhinged.

From the outside it’s comical, so obviously agressive and dismissive. I know that’s not helpful but maybe next year you will be able to laugh about it.

Ignore itq

Ignore op.

What a bitch

That’s actually hilarious. What total arses . Take it for the excellent story that will have people in stitches for years. It says far more about the givers than about you.
(& treat it as a challenge as to how ghastly a gift you can find them in future)

bagofdicks.com/ you could gift this back to them. But the emotionally mature response would be to ignore and don't rise to the bait.

Ooh, that's mean. My ex's family once gave me self improvement type books, the one I remember was about etiquette. I spent years not laying the table "correctly" every time they came to dinner and then feigning ignorance while my FIL tore his hair out trying to teach me. I don't know what you should do, but I don't think you should thank her. She sent them to you, just bin them and say you didn't recieve it.

Say nothing. Do nothing. Don't buy them anything Bastards

Ignore. Don’t thank them for the gift. Don’t send them anything.