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Christmas

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Original poster

What's it like to be properly well off at Christmas?

254 replies

ImJustNotMeAnymore · 20/12/2021 15:31

Just that really. We're not poor but not able to throw money around. There are things our children would like, such as new pc, gaming equipment, horse, car and so forth, that are out of the budget this year but they won't have nothing.

My question is for those who have bigger incomes and no money worries. What is it really like especially at Christmas?

OP posts:
BoredOfSamphire · 20/12/2021 15:38

We don't do big presents at Christmas - if one of the kids needs a new bike, or a computer, or whatever then we'll buy it at the time rather than wait until Christmas.

We still do Christmas gifts, but more things like family games, activity sets, or other things to do on the day.

Insertfunnyname · 20/12/2021 15:41

Household income about £300k

Children are 10,9,7 and 5 (all boys)
They don’t have any gaming stuff. This year they’re getting books, Lego, arts and craft stuff, clothes, board games, bath bombs, etc etc. no single item is over £100

Just personally choose not to spoil them Altho they’re hugely lucky with what they’ve got. Spend a lot on experiences, travel, hobbies.

Just because you can spend it doesn’t mean you should.

SalsaLove · 20/12/2021 15:42

Same here. We just usually give each other a few nice gifts but not anything enormously expensive. It’s just me and my husband and our gift to each other is a long weekend away for our birthdays in January. Always in Europe.

Fretfulmum · 20/12/2021 15:49

No big gifts here. If DC need something, they get it at that time. Christmas is mainly small bits and bobs. DC don’t mind at all and have never asked for much. We do spend on good food though.
We spend far more on travel, experiences and extra curricular for DC throughout the year which they are far more grateful for than gifts

junebirthdaygirl · 20/12/2021 15:50

As a teacher l notice the more well off the less presents. I think when people know they can afford to buy things it's easier to say no than feeling bad that you can't provide. We are not massively rich but could afford stuff within reason..l draw the line at a horse but often our dc were last to get latest gadgets and usually saved to get stuff themselves from birthday money and later on part time jobs. They are lucky to have had nice holidays and college paid for but buying thm tons was not a family priority and they were always super excited at what they got.

TooWicked · 20/12/2021 15:51

We don’t do really extravagant Christmas gifts. We buy DS the things he needs as and when he needs them e.g. we bought him car in the summer as he’s learning to drive and both our cars are automatic. For this Christmas we’ve spent about £150 on him.

It’s really nice to buy our family and friends things we think they’d like or need, and not have to think about how much things cost - that doesn’t necessarily mean everyone gets a small fortune spent on them, and some years we may spend double on one person than we do on another because we buy what we think they’d like rather than to a budget.

We usually host Christmas dinner and it’s is really nice to do the food and drink order without thinking about the cost.

Lovemusic33 · 20/12/2021 15:55

I don’t think many people buy their kids cars and ponies for Christmas. I’m guessing those that do get these things often miss out on the more important things like spending time with their parents (due to them having to work a lot).

I have spent Christmas at a rich family members house and there were no huge gifts, mainly small token gifts and even some 2nd hand gifts were exchanged, more money was spent on food and alcohol.

tiredanddangerous · 20/12/2021 16:01

We do spoil the kids at Christmas and Birthdays but they don't really get anything (other than the essentials) the rest of the year.

aliceca · 20/12/2021 16:04

Most rich people seem to say they don't give much at Christmas to their kids. Its a kind of sneering on the working class who do.
Instead they just give massive expensive presents all year round to their kids.

OfMinceAndMen · 20/12/2021 16:11

I can afford any budget I like (and am very grateful and aware my circumstances could change any day), but physically can't make myself spend more on Christmas than I used to in my early 20s! Something in me just goes "whoa there, don't go mad!" So my Christmas looks quite modest and my savings continue to accumulate in the bank. I'm not stingy though, I treat family to meals out and trips away through the year.

Jessie75 · 20/12/2021 16:14

We grew up with absolutely bugger all, to give you an indication my Cindy doll was my main present one year and you know what I loved it and I was really happy with it but when I had children I made a decision that I was go into spoil them. And mine have been spoiled rotten and it’s great, it’s what I work for, is the only reason I get out of bed of a morning is to give my kids everything that I didn’t have. It’s not always expensive stuff my daughter‘s getting Dyson straightners for Christmas that she wants. My son had a PS5 last year. This year he wants a G-Shock watch that’s gonna cost me 50 quid and he’s thrilled to bits with it. But it’s having the choice that’s what brings me happiness/comfort, it’s a decision.

Jessie75 · 20/12/2021 16:15

@aliceca

Most rich people seem to say they don't give much at Christmas to their kids. Its a kind of sneering on the working class who do. Instead they just give massive expensive presents all year round to their kids.
I can definitely relate to that as well like I wouldn’t wait to buy them a bike if they needed it and driving lessons when they need it holidays now that they’re adults they still come along on those. I know where the people who would make the kids wait for a pair of shoes because there for Christmas which I don’t think is right.
HaaaaaveyoumetTed · 20/12/2021 16:16

We've been less well off and are now more well off. In terms of gifts, it hasn't really changed. We buy something they want, whatever that may be - they are young so it's lego and dolls currently, though DC1 is angling for a switch, I don't want him having too many electronics yet.

As others have said we buy stuff throughout the year as needed, though if it is close to christmas or birthdays we often say they have to wait because I think delayed gratification, anticipation and patience are important to learn. DC1s tablet broke a few weeks ago, he will get a new one at Christmas but only because its useful to us as parents and only because it's doing him some good not having one at the moment.

We buy Christmas food and drink for whoever is spending Christmas with us - this year we're at my parents due to a kitchen installation at ours but we are still supplying all food and drink as a thanks to them for hosting. And buying gifts people will like, rather than to a budget is nice, though we don't show off with gifts as that can make people feel uncomfortable.

aliceca · 20/12/2021 16:16

People make the kids wait, because otherwise they would have little for Christmas.

crazyjinglist · 20/12/2021 16:17

Most rich people seem to say they don't give much at Christmas to their kids. Its a kind of sneering on the working class who do.

Or, you know, maybe they're just telling the truth. It seems a bit off to call it sneering when people are just factually responding to questions about what they spend. Who says they give massive expensive presents all year round anyway?

We're definitely not rich and not poor either, but I think we spend a considerably smaller amount on Christmas and birthday presents proportionate to our income than lots of people we know. It's not 'sneering', it's just that neither dh nor I grew up in families who spent loads on presents! We don't spend much on our dc the rest of the year either tbh!

XiCi · 20/12/2021 16:18

@aliceca

Most rich people seem to say they don't give much at Christmas to their kids. Its a kind of sneering on the working class who do. Instead they just give massive expensive presents all year round to their kids.
Exactly. Had a bit of a snort at the poster above who sneerily said they choose not to spoil their children then went on to say how they spent a lot on travel, holidays and hobbies Grin. Araminta and Achilles spend the holidays in St Barts but aren't spoiled dontcha know because they only get a few hundred quids worth of presents. Never mind that they're bought everything they need throughout the year anyway. Got to love Mumsnet
qualitygirl · 20/12/2021 16:19

I don't think we go crazy, we have about 4.5 disposable income per month. I have spent about 300 per child and about 180 on my mum so far and that's about it...I'll probably spend 100 on dh. Food wise I will just do a normal food shop spend but just with different ingredients. I never have to buy wine or chocolates or fancy stuff because I get them in a work hamper each Christmas which is great 😊

LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 20/12/2021 16:19

Same thing here, no ‘big’ gifts, but at the same time I’ll buy whatever the DC have on their list regardless of price (they are 7yo and fairly low maintenance, not sure I’ll do it for teens).
No set budget for gifts or food.
I buy party food for normal weekday evening meals even though prices are ridiculous.
Tons of expensive chocolate that can only be found at Christmas so it lasts me the year - I’m talking 40 packs or so.
Throwing last minute Christmas parties.

ChequerBoard · 20/12/2021 16:20

@aliceca

Most rich people seem to say they don't give much at Christmas to their kids. Its a kind of sneering on the working class who do. Instead they just give massive expensive presents all year round to their kids.

Why do you see it as sneering?

We do the same thing, DC get the laptop, bike, clothes, whatever when they need it. We don't wait until their birthdays or December 25th to give things.

Presents at birthdays and Christmas are smaller, things they want, or that I think they would like or that would amuse us as a family, that's all.

You do you, the question was asked and answered, that's all.

CariadWelshcake · 20/12/2021 16:21

I would say we could give the items you’ve mentioned as Christmas presents but it’s not something we’d do. Myself and my adult children do a secret Santa for about 20 pounds and my grandchildren get about 150 pounds spent on each of them apart from if it’s their turn to get/they really need something more adventurous price wise. So for eg This year one of my grandchildren is getting a secondhand saddle that had only been used a couple of times previously.

A lot is spent on their education and further education but not on Christmas.

cheeseismydownfall · 20/12/2021 16:21

We are what would be considered to be well off and could afford to buy the things on your list if we wanted to.

But our DD(11) is severely mentally unwell and completely crippled by anxiety to the point that she cannot leave the house.

I would trade every last present under the tree (and a lot, lot more) to be able to have a simple, happy family Christmas.

LovelyLovelyWarmCoffee · 20/12/2021 16:22

Oh and very importantly: adult DC still receive gifts! (I’m the adult DC in this case)

purpletrees16 · 20/12/2021 16:24

I notice there’s a weird thing whereby Christmas presents increase in value up a certain level of well-offness (from charity shop/socks /school supplies to the aforementioned PS5s etc. representing a big thing that kid knows are special) then decrease in value for the “I’m so wealthy if I don’t make them earn something they will be spoilt” crew (where the socks and school supplies make a reappearance but they already have a horse they got in June) then increase again until they are silly (Ferrari’s for 17 year olds etc.)

Source: state school to private school with a scholarship to time spent during postgrad tutoring London’s uber-wealthy.

WombatChocolate · 20/12/2021 16:24

I think that if you have no money worries, CHristmas is often about experiences rather than gifts. It might mean booking tickets to the theatre that will cost £200+, without giving serious thought to it, along with going on several meals out with friends or work, without considering that each time will cost in the region of £50. Then there could be a trip to a GLOW event at somewhere like a National Trust place, and ice skating at an outside venue which costs the family £100 once you’ve factored in a couple of hot chocolates, and more than double that if there’s lunch too. Hosting a drinks or mince pies event for neighbours with canapés and booze could cost several hundred and lots do those things every year when it’s not Covid.

In my mind it’s not so much about presents….and lots of people mention that they buy bikes, computers etc as needed through the year and don’t feel the need for a big heap of presents, but about being able to opt into fairly spontaneous invites to go the the theatre with another family, or to host an event, without consideration given to the cost.

And the other crucial thing that hasn’t been mentioned is that there probably is no need to save through the year towards all this, nor to face a c credit card bill that can’t be paid off in Jan, so which creates debt for the rest of the year.

Perhaps it also looks like going skiing over CHristmas, or knowing you’re going at Feb half term, and already having booked some lovely holidays for the summer.

Totalwasteofpaper · 20/12/2021 16:25

Nice - we get in really good wines.
Neals yard cheeses and posh nibbles from f&m and East India company
A really good jigsaw.

Presents aren't that big, on my side but DHs side are obsessed with "designer stuff" and insisted on pointlessly lavish presents.

This will be our last year like this as will be on mat leave and child care will be 2.5k extra pm Confused

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