What's it like to be properly well off at Christmas?

[ImJustNotMeAnymore]

Just that really. We're not poor but not able to throw money around. There are things our children would like, such as new pc, gaming equipment, horse, car and so forth, that are out of the budget this year but they won't have nothing.

My question is for those who have bigger incomes and no money worries. What is it really like especially at Christmas?

@XiCi

Why do you see it as sneering? It's sneering because it's virtually always accompanied by some comments on how children are spoiled if they get a lot of gifts. That it's going to make kids grabby and entitled. Some children get bought lovely things all year round and some get a big pile at Xmas. I fail to see how one of these would turn children into spoiled little cretins and the other wouldn't.

What a nasty post, using an offensive word to boot.

@aliceca she's 3, which obviously has a bearing, but her balance bike was a hand me down birthday present from a family friend via grandparents. She doesn't have a kindle fire or any techy stuff like that, which I know some kids have, although for this Christmas she's having a music/audiobook player and her granny is getting her some music cards for it. In her stocking she'll get some Quentin Blake books and play food and small wooden dolls hospital all secondhand, plus a couple of colouring books and some stickers and a nightlight. She'll be happy as Larry! Around £100 total, which is more than lots of kids (and I feel extremely grateful), but I don't think is super extravagant. We could afford to spend many times that, but she just doesn't need it. Obviously as she gets older things will might change, but we don't have loads of fancy stuff either. Our telly is 8 years old with no plan to replace, we have a hand me down music system and coffee machine, drive an old battered Passat with 180k miles on the clock, don't buy designer labels etc. Absolutely no judgement on people who value those things and buy them - great! We're just perfectly happy without them. I buy little bits for my daughter here and there - a little torch, a puzzle from the charity shop, obviously clothes and shoes etc, but nothing 'massive'.

I think that the really good thing about being “comfortable” as a minimum is that Christmas can be fun rather than stressful, at least from a financial point of view
We budget because we want to rather than have to

@banananaba

I do get confused about the sneering at the spoiling. A kid who skis & visits the Caribbean & lives in a 2m house isn't necessarily not spoilt because they get 1 present at xmas! 😆

I get equally confused about kids being kind, lovely and thoughtful because they are poor

@Shitandhills yes 3 years old is very different. I spent less than you when they were that age and I could afford to spend more. Different when they are older and what they want gets very expensive.

I am single - bigg ish income (c£90k).

I have to control myself with neoclassical and nephews - can’t buy more than their parents but love to spoil them. Pre pandemic i took them on holidays etc - but now it’s just gifts. I try to keep it to around £150 each.

I know it’s a nice problem to have - but just need to be careful not be too extravagant.

Nieces and nephews! Not sure where neon-classical came from 😂

We are not rich but I suppose you would say we are well off or comfortable and we don’t have children! We have bought gifts for 15 people and have spent around 2k in total on all those gifts! and my husband and I have spent 3k for our Xmas gift to each other (a trip as we have everything we need) which is now cancelled due to Covid! So we have spent around 5k in total of gifts and around £350-400 on food and drink

@aliceca well it's not a competition - great that you spent less on yours if you wanted to, great that other people spend more on theirs if they want to, and judging by the previous comments I'm somewhere in the middle - great. But definitely inaccurate to perceive that everybody who has money who chooses not to go nuts at Christmas is sneering at those who do. Or don't, for that matter.

@Shitandhills my point is simply that 3 year olds don't need expensive presents whether at Christmas or throughout the year. You first stated that you didn't buy expensive gifts for your child anytime of the year without mentioning their age.

Horse? Car? 🙄😂
I have no money worries and 5 A/C plus GC, no overdraft facilities as I don't need them and enough money to buy what I want, HOWEVER, my tastes haven't changed, I still absolutely love a bargain and always search for the best deals and then some. Fav shops are M&S, Primark and very occasionally, Massimo Dutti.
One of my A/C is has the choice of a case of wine (12 bottles) or a £150 gift experience card, courtesy of my new Virgin account.
Others will receive clothes they choose and I order and pay online which have already been delivered, gift wrapped.

I get equally confused about kids being kind, lovely and thoughtful because they are poor

Really, is that a common trope?

Nothing costing more than £150 each for A/C and nothing over £75 for GC. I don't want anything as I have already treated myself to exactly what I want.

@aliceca and my point was that you should live and let live - what's it to you if somebody chooses to buy their 3 year old kid expensive presents? Sounds a lot like sneering to me! Bit hypocritical!

Also, you're twisting my words, you originally said that people with money buy their kids massive expensive presents all year round (ie times aside from Christmas) and I said I didn't. Which I don't. Unless you perceive a £2 kids torch and a secondhand puzzle expensive?

Either way, I'm not sneering at anyone no matter how much or little they choose to spend.

You said you didnt without mentioning your child age. Toddlers don't need massive presents. I suspect things will change as your child gets older.

Thank you all for your comments.

@WombatChocolate

I think that if you have no money worries, CHristmas is often about experiences rather than gifts. It might mean booking tickets to the theatre that will cost £200+, without giving serious thought to it, along with going on several meals out with friends or work, without considering that each time will cost in the region of £50. Then there could be a trip to a GLOW event at somewhere like a National Trust place, and ice skating at an outside venue which costs the family £100 once you’ve factored in a couple of hot chocolates, and more than double that if there’s lunch too. Hosting a drinks or mince pies event for neighbours with canapés and booze could cost several hundred and lots do those things every year when it’s not Covid.

In my mind it’s not so much about presents….and lots of people mention that they buy bikes, computers etc as needed through the year and don’t feel the need for a big heap of presents, but about being able to opt into fairly spontaneous invites to go the the theatre with another family, or to host an event, without consideration given to the cost.

And the other crucial thing that hasn’t been mentioned is that there probably is no need to save through the year towards all this, nor to face a c credit card bill that can’t be paid off in Jan, so which creates debt for the rest of the year.

Perhaps it also looks like going skiing over CHristmas, or knowing you’re going at Feb half term, and already having booked some lovely holidays for the summer.

Based on my experience of a privileged childhood and now still living in the SE with a joint income of £30k, I'd say this is definitely true.

Every year as a child we would go to London as a family to the ballet or a musical, we'd go skiing if not at Christmas then during half term, the annual trip with grandparents to La Gavroche plus the amount & quality of food, drink, the decorations, the 12ft Xmas tree - all things you take for granted until you have to to pay for them yourself or simply don't have the budget. presents however were definitely more meagre - stockings were a sock with a satsuma, chocolate coins, a book and another small toy and we'd have a few good presents that sometimes included a bigger item like a bike, but generally clothes, makeup, tapes, a calendar etc.

That adds up to £1500 as I have 5 A/C + 12 GC. One A/C got the freebie from Virgin.
Some small gifts to 6 close friends which came to about about £100.
My ex usually puts money in my account to spend on myself which more than covers my gift giving, so any presents I buy are really paid for by him, although he also buys for our A/C and G/C.
I don't eat meat, seafood, Christmas cake, pudding, mince pies or drink alcohol so I'm happy with a plate of roasted vegetables, nothing exotic or 'vegetarian'. My OH is doing the cooking at his home (we don't live together) but it will be the works from M&S.
I hope everyone here has the very best Christmas they can manage this year. It's certainly been a rollercoaster that hasn't stopped...yet.

Our household income is approx £400k and we do not buy over the top presents for the kids (spend about £150 each, and they know not to ask for anything like a PS5 or an iPad as they won’t get it). Same all year round as well, although if they get what they need eg if they outgrow their bike or need a musical instrument for school. We are both from very humble beginnings, I was on free school dinners as a child and I have made sure that my DC know the value of money and hard work.
However as a pp says, we happily buy tickets for theatre/pantomime and go out to restaurants without a second thought, which is a luxury I did not have when I was a child.

The presents are the same - if a new XBox comes out DS will have to wait for Christmas or Birthday - whichever comes first. It’s the stuff we do they’d changed. Visiting Christmas markets (pre-pandemic), going to the theatre s few times over the Christmas season, eating out in special restaurants etc

I didn't grow up with much money (single parent family) and everything was budgeted for - I remember my mum buying £2 of savings stamps each week to do the Christmas shop and she put aside £3 a week in a tin for presents - I did that too when I got old enough, 50p a week over 50 weeks so I had £25 to spend on presents.
I often just got clothes and things I needed for Christmas but I don't feel like I was deprived. I knew my mum worked hard for what we had.

We are in the £250k + income bracket.
We don't have a set budget for Christmas. We buy what we think someone will like - that can be £50 or £300 + my DC are young and still in the stage of the number and size of the presents being more important 😂

For each other we usually don't bother at Christmas but do have a couple of nights away in a nice hotel in Jan/ Feb as a gift to ourselves. Birthdays we spend more on each other.

I think the real luxury is being able to buy the food and drink we want without thinking about it.

We have various orders in with the butcher, bakers, waitrose and Ocado which will probably end up over £500 in total for 3 days of catering for our families. I didn't need to think about it when ordering.

I also think @WombatChocolate has it - we have done loads of lovely Christmas things this year, I dread to think what they have cost in total but they were booked over the course of the year and so no massive bill. We don't have to think twice about it though which is a HUGE luxury.

So perhaps an example might be my daughter doesn't really have a Christmas list; I guess she's lucky enough to have access to things throughout the year so it's less of a big deal. I just get a few token things. For us the day is very much more about family and lovely food! But I am very aware that this is a huge privilege.

We were well off when dcs were small, but dcs often got 2nd hand things for their main gift.... kitchen, castle, wooden railway set.

And now I think about it, we will do lots of days out, theatre, meals etc which when you have 5 DC between you (4 of whom are over 18 and a couple have partners!), it adds up.

@cheeseismydownfall

We are what would be considered to be well off and could afford to buy the things on your list if we wanted to.

But our DD(11) is severely mentally unwell and completely crippled by anxiety to the point that she cannot leave the house.

I would trade every last present under the tree (and a lot, lot more) to be able to have a simple, happy family Christmas.

💐 Sorry to hear your DD is so unwell and wishing her and the family better times ahead.