What's it like to be properly well off at Christmas?

[ImJustNotMeAnymore]

Just that really. We're not poor but not able to throw money around. There are things our children would like, such as new pc, gaming equipment, horse, car and so forth, that are out of the budget this year but they won't have nothing.

My question is for those who have bigger incomes and no money worries. What is it really like especially at Christmas?

Present budget for DC is about £150 each. They are grown up now. They had game boys and bikes when little but not the overwhelming piles some dc have. However, they had what they needed when they needed in the context of laptops, modest cars, holidays and school sports and music tours.

We spend/spent more (in non Covid times) on a trip to the panto/ballet/music concerts/theatre etc, fab food, our annual party, lovely trees, etc.

As I've said before, if I had three under 10s and lived on the 12th floor somewhere and there was nothing for extras, I'd think a PlayStation and gizmos was worth every single penny.

Christmas list to Santa from DS2 was 2 different Pokémon cards he wants and a surprise.

Christmas list from DS1 was a small toy and a surprise.

That is what we got them and a board game and some stem games for a stocking.

As others have said if they need something throughout the year they get it.

We do not have gaming devices and DS2 has said he would like a switch but we have discussed it and I have explained he is not getting one. He enjoys them at a friends as a treat.

They have acres of room to run about it and a pony lots of tarmac for bikes scooters and roller blades.

We love to spend time with them when we are off and we play games with them and they are going to buy me a packet of my favourite crips. Yum!

They love the magic of Christmas and choosing gifts and decorating the house and we do not have a budget for food etc

We are taking them to a hotel for a few days between Christmas and New year because not going abroad due to covid.

We are not rich but this is the first year I pretty much felt that we could spend whatever we want on Christmas. With the caveat that we don't tend to want to spend anything crazy in the first place.

As a result I think DH and I have ended up with some silly presents we probably didn't need! The DC have about as much as normal but I didn't get any of it second hand. I feel a mixture of happy with this and anxious about it.

I was able to designate some presents from my mum who couldn't afford to send anything for the last couple of years, which felt nice.

We couldn't buy cars or horses. But I don't think we'd have wanted to do that anyway.

@aliceca suspect what you like! You're coming off as very judgemental!

We’re high earners and we don’t buy loads at Christmas. Kids are 10 & 7 and this year 7 asked for a snow globe collection, and 10 asked for a nerf gun.
But we live so far from family that I’d prefer to spend on flights to UK and have them spend time with family and we’re incredibly lucky that we can afford to do so.

We don’t do huge gifts for Christmas. If the kids need something new, we don’t wait till Christmas to purchase it. We just buy throughout the year as needed.

We spend on family activities like afternoon teas, theatre, ice skating, Santa’s grotto, etc..

We also spend Christmas abroad every other year. When we spend it in the UK, we host both sides of our families.

I feel the real luxury is not having to worry about saving up.

We are very grateful for our privileges. DH and I come from humble upbringings and we are lucky to to be in the financial position that we are in.

I’ve always found very well off people don’t make a big fuss at Christmas as they can buy whatever is needed/wanted. As a working class kid we had piles of stuff on Christmas Day (paid for over the year).

No big gifts here. No plastic, nothing wasteful. I get them things they will actually like, not toys for the sake of it. They get whatever they want or need all year round though so we never make any sort of a deal of Xmas. It's about quality time together and we spend that together as our family of 4, not getting extravagant gifts. DH and I don't buy anything for each other as we have everything we need or want. We both loathe consumerism and we live simple lives, but we could afford anything we wanted if we wished to go that way.

I do spend a lot on my DCs nursery and school staff though, and get them gift vouchers to buy what they want. Because I really value how much they do for my children.

@cheeseismydownfall
Christmas good wishes to you and your family and I do hope your daughter gets the help she needs to overcome her anxiety.

We are well of and have a 13yo ds and to be honest I haven’t a clue how much we’ve spent on him. We’ve got everything he’s asked for ( box of sweets, some clothes and some fifa points) plus other things that we’d like him to have.

I’m naturally tight though (as were my parents) so I don’t go over the top on food and drink etc. We get what we want, but don’t go for expensive wine for example

@BoredOfSamphire

We don't do big presents at Christmas - if one of the kids needs a new bike, or a computer, or whatever then we'll buy it at the time rather than wait until Christmas.

We still do Christmas gifts, but more things like family games, activity sets, or other things to do on the day.

I think this is prob the difference with being wealthy - being able to afford big ticket items as they're needed rather than having to gift them. DS had a bike for Xmas a few years ago, a laptop etc as he gets older will be a bday or Xmas present, his brothers will have his hand me downs for economics not principles.

We're not rich but have a decent joint income. As per pp we don't tend to wait until Christmas for big buys (eg DD gets a bike when she needs one, rather than waiting).

But we don't spend a totally ludicrous amount on Christmas or Birthdays, maybe £150 per person for DH, DD and I. I realise this is a lot for many, but not compared to some of the lists I see on here.

I guess the main thing is that we don't get stressed out by spending that money, that we don't make choices based on budget. And that's the freedom that our salaries allow.

I wasn't born into money, I remember my card failing (regularly), being constantly in my over draft, paying by cheque to buy me a few days to get cash in my account. It's only the last 15 years or so that's been more comfortable.

HH income here around 115k.

Dh and I don't exchange presents. We spend £100 on my parents and about the same on MIL. We have spent about £250 on DD, mainly stuff for her horse. We will spend £300 on Christmas lunch because we are going out this year, however our Christmas Day overtime more than covers that.

I don't spend money for the sake of it I guess.

Being able to get the food and wine we want without worrying about the cost. Getting the big tree. We don’t have children, but we do get a nice hamper for a few of our friends. Gifts for each other are only a few, nice, but practical. Lovely cashmere jumper or a really nice dressing gown. Compared to how it was in my 20s and 30s, it is a blessed relief not to have to account for every pence and being able to lose the guilt over buying anything strictly not necessary.

We aren’t on massive incomes, but I’m aware that things are comfortable as we have a comparatively small mortgage and only 1 child.

We’ve spent about £130 on presents this year, many are really obscure and based on DS’s less mainstream interests, others are daft ones which will amuse him.

However, he has had presents during the year, as they’ve been needed: MacBook for A Levels, paid for half his new phone (he saved up the other half), new PlayStation when we got hold of one (Jan/Feb time)- not needed but hoped for with only a small present last Christmas.

Usually we are on holiday abroad over Christmas, clearly not this year. It’s a small cottage on the Norfolk coast this year rather than the Canaries or Morocco. This is the best bit of Christmas for us- warmth and sunshine- we see this as our main holiday not the one in summer.

I'm not sure what's classed as a high income i thought ours was high but a pp said 300k so maybe not.

We are very fortunate and certainly comfortable, I'm a sahm by choice.

We don't go overboard at Christmas neither ourselves or the children are into flashy stuff but we are very aware that we are privileged to not worry about the food bill at Christmas or through the year really we probably spend st least 1k on a typical months food

We have probably spent a couple of hundred each on the children

It wasn't always like this though!

Not especially well off but have rubbed shoulders with quite a few (including minor royals) when our 3 got bursaries to a really good prep. school. Neither our children nor I felt 'inferior' or got the impression that others were getting loads more things than our's did. Didn't tend to see them at Christmas but were always invited to all the b'day parties of their class mates.
No one ever seemed to give a present of more then £15-£20 to the child and the party bags although not plastic junk were never extravagant. Never ever had any sneering in our direction I can assure you all.
My children are adopted and have in the last few years made contact with their birth family which is fine apart from the fact that they all want to spend outrageous amounts on them at Christmas and B'days, to 'make up for things!' Our oldest is especially embarrassed by this and has told them time and again not to to no avail!

Grew up with rich grandparents and parents in what would be considered a stately home by some people but, because my social circle was small, I didn’t realise at the time that we were.

Our Christmases were actually incredibly parsimonious.

My parents always had a drinks party, and were generous with bonuses and tips for their staff, the dustmen and postman etc, but the presents for us were an afterthought and were often quite shit. We already had real ponies but I was always desperate for a Sindy and her horse!

I have gone the other way in adulthood although I don’t have so much money, and my daughter and nieces and nephews are completely spoilt with plastic tat and junk clothes of their choosing.

Christmas is when the live-in staff are away, so parents do the cooking. My mother is a great cook but lots of my school friends including a princess had ready meals or went out for Indian or Chinese food.

Even if I was extremely well off I wouldn’t be buying my kids horses and cars!!

A horse! Why are people asking for a horse for Christmas? That's way over the top.

We're not actually buying any present this year as we don't actually need anything so not spending money for the sake of it.

[quote Dontwanttolivewithmylover]@cheeseismydownfall
Christmas good wishes to you and your family and I do hope your daughter gets the help she needs to overcome her anxiety. [/quote]
@Dontwanttolivewithmylover thank you, I really appreciate that.

It depends on your peer group. In our circles it was just the done thing for your parents to buy you a car for your 18th birthday.

Horses tend to be a family thing so aren’t presents as such.

I do know of a few doting husbands who have bought their wives spectacular presents of the horsebox or vintage car variety but it often coincides with marital turmoil [taps side of nose].

Something that my friends find shocking now - we never wrote letters to Father Christmas with wish lists. You were allowed to write down one thing on a piece of paper, and if ever you said, “I want…” the adults would immediately respond with “never gets.”

My family is actually quite close knit and loving! Although DH introduced us to the concept of stockings for everyone including adults, and it’s been enthusiastically embraced as a new tradition.

There was a time in my life when I could not afford heating. Now, I earn a good salary. DD only gets a few presents from us but we do not have a budget for those. She doesn't need a ton of stuff, it just dilutes the specialness of the things (nothing to do with snobbery!!).