Telling DC Father Christmas is not real (a safe space)

[nc1985]

Anyone else gone down this route, or are planning to go down this route, with their DC?

DH and I have decided not to play along with telling our 4yo and 2.5yo that Santa exists/brings the presents at Christmas.

Our 4yo understands mermaids and unicorns, for example, are pretend and that doesn't stop her enjoying playing with them, wearing unicorn-themed costumes etc. We think the same principle will apply with Christmas, that is our DC will enjoy the "magic" of Christmas without buying in to the whole story as fact.

I just wanted a safe place to chat with other mums who are thinking similar to us. Are you out there?

Not prepared to get flamed Go easy on me if you don't side with my opinion on Father Christmas/Santa.

A parent shouldn't have to do anything because of other people's perception that its selfish thats ridiculous, when u think about it a child will only know about these things, putting out mince pie for santa , making a list becuase the parent will tell them. If the parent didnt mention any of this a child wouldn't know, ive decided santa is a parents magic , i found chrismas magical without santa. Christmas to me wasy parents not working watching Christmas movies playing silly party games getting presents.

Seeing my extened family loved going to my grandparents house and seeing all my cousins

@beachtosunset Jesus Christ. No thank you.

So, to find some other persuasion, away from the MN hysteria, I googled these exact words: positive reasons to tell children about santa

This was the first article that came up. 4 out 5 educational psychologists say NO. Tbh, I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting more of the stuff on here, that I'll "ruin the magic" 🙄

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20181211-why-you-shouldnt-lie-to-your-children-about-santa

Your children, your decision. But your parents were shits and you should do yourself a favour by addressing that at some point.

That sounds cruel op. Also they won't face any friends when they tell the other kids/ teachers what mummy and daddy told them.

What in the world is a 'safe space?'

@Newrunner29

A parent shouldn't have to do anything because of other people's perception that its selfish thats ridiculous, when u think about it a child will only know about these things, putting out mince pie for santa , making a list becuase the parent will tell them. If the parent didnt mention any of this a child wouldn't know, ive decided santa is a parents magic , i found chrismas magical without santa. Christmas to me wasy parents not working watching Christmas movies playing silly party games getting presents.

No that's not true not only from parents. Children at school all spoke about wish lists for Santa and putting out their stockings in the front room fire place hearth and mince pie sherry for Santa and carrots for Rudolph. I did. All peers chatted about what they thought about Santa. School days in infants and juniors are all about that until about 7/8/9.

@maofteens

Wait, what, Santa isn't REAL?!?!?

Nope. But he does exist.

[quote nc1985]@beachtosunset Jesus Christ. No thank you. [/quote]
I really wonder at some people and their reasons for starting a family.

Your kids will never get this time again.

No. Never! Not when they're 20! Or 30!

This thread is...
surprising to me.

I posted earlier we never told our kids to believe in Santa but always played it as a game. I have never had any problems with anyone in real life about this not even my MIL who did the whole flour footprints thing and more for her other grandkids my kids have never had any problems from it either.

@Classica

Your children, your decision. But your parents were shits and you should do yourself a favour by addressing that at some point.

this^. In spades.

children at school all spoke about wish lists for Santa
All? That must be a remarkably homogeneous school.

@AnCailleachOiche

That sounds cruel op. Also they won't face any friends when they tell the other kids/ teachers what mummy and daddy told them.

What in the world is a 'safe space?'

I've googled it for you.

@beachtosunset me too!

Did you read the BBC article I posted?

@choli

children at school all spoke about wish lists for Santa All? That must be a remarkably homogeneous school.

it was a C of E school.

Well my school didn't talk about their wish lists and a wish list isnt exclusive to santa anyways. A child can have a wish list weather they belive in santa or not.

@Newrunner29

Well my school didn't talk about their wish lists and a wish list isnt exclusive to santa anyways. A child can have a wish list weather they belive in santa or not.

Exactly this. My DC will be encouraged to write wish lists for Christmas when they're older, but it certainly won't be addressed to Santa.

I found out at 4 i knew santa wasnt real but i managed to keep it quiet , we talked about christmas but it wasnt about santa it was about what presents were wanted which happens regardless of weather santa brings them!

[quote nc1985]@beachtosunset me too!

Did you read the BBC article I posted? [/quote]
@nc1985 yes i read it. The person who wrote it is Jewish so I guess that's a perspective of Christmas be it denominational or pagan ritual that is somewhat different to a Christian's view. Christmas being a Christian celebration.

As i have already said your child realises in their own good time gently. It's not lying. How joyless. There is no day of doom circled in the calendar when a child plans to tell their child. No pain just fun festive spirit.

@Classica

If Christian parents share their belief with their children that God exists, but then also fervently claim to believe in Santa, that's going to just confuse the child as to what personal belief and conviction (not to mention honesty and integrity) actually means, regardless of what faith/belief choices they make for themselves in later life.

what a loaf of old guff. The guffiest guff I've read on MN today.

Fair enough: you believe that modeling blatant hypocrisy to children is a good way to teach and bring them up: got it. We'll just have to agree to differ there.

thank you for reminding me of your guff. I get to eye-roll over it once more.

blessings.

*when a parent plans to tell their child

@beachtosunset

Firstly, where does it say the author is Jewish?

Secondly, were all the psychologists asked for their expert opinions also Jewish or non-Christian? Does it matter?

Third: so everyone who celebrates Christmas, and by your definition celebrates Santa, a Christian?

Come on now

It doesn't say it in the article. Her surname is Heizer

Christmas is a Christian festival and celebration.

I realised aged 8?? but was asked to keep quiet so as not to spoil it for the other sibling. We never felt lied to or hurt just happy and thoroughly enjoyed all the fireplace stockings, letters to Santa sent up the chimney in the flames, mince pies and carrots laid out at the hearth and listening out for Rudolph's hooves on the rooftops. I am very grateful for all those memories and the effort and pretence my parents put into Santa.

I am sorry your parents hurt you, they should never have taken that away from you or used Santa as a punishment. I do thiink your approach would be somewhat different to your kids Santa experience had this cruel abuse not happened in your childhood.