Need to get it all off my chest before i break down dont have to reply...

[TheWiltedRose]

OK, i feel like im about to burst and its getting worse every day so i think i need to write it all down..

Im 20 and have 2 ds's and this is my first xmas on my own, Im not spending it with my mum because she moved away a while ago and cant get down there, Im not spending it with my dps family as they do not like me or anyone there ds goes out with and have sworn not to invite me this year even though ive been seeing him a year now.

I was supposed to be spending it with my brothers who live in the midlands like me but they were in a little car crash and the car was written off luckily no one was hurt but now i have no way off getting to theres on xmas so that has been cancelled.

Yes its bothering me that i am spending xmas with so few ppl this year but it would be bearable if i had even a little money to do it with.

See income support have cut my money off because i refuse to claim child maintanence as it would cause stress and possibly harm to me and my boys leaving me in a bad state with money, add that onto the fact that i already have a 3 1/2 grand debt that i cant pay off and the council are threatening to kick me out and its just dire, This week i cant even afford to buy milk for ds2 and next week ill be lucky if i can buy nappies...

I have barely any food in the house and no drink other than water so i cant make an xmas dinner other than cheap chips and beans, I havnt even brought many presents for the boys because moneys tight but i have run up a debt now with littlewoods on creditto buy them what i have.

Add to this the fact that my ds1 is 3 on the 29th and then theres news years eve which will be spent in the same was as xmas then u might grasp how im feeling at the moment..

I just dont know how to cope this year or even if ill have a house the next one if things carry on the way they are..

If you got this far then thanks for listening to me...

Now i got a phonecall from the people im buying my tv off saying if i dont give them the 69 i owe them this month they will take it off me and i will lose all the money i have payed so far

If one more things happens i dont know what ill do i feel like im just being snowed under..

Wiltedrose I am sorry I can't be a practical help. But I hope you will accept my heartfelt hug.
I have looked at your pictures of your beautiful boys and it is obvious that you are a wonderful, caring and proud mum to them. That is all they need this Christmas someone who loves them. I hope you and your boys manage to have fun this Christmas. My Dcs love going and looking at the lights on the houses and singing endless christmas songs. Imeem is a good website where you can search for songs.
I'm thinking of you.

thank you charliemama i didnt think anyone would read this, i do so want to make it a good xmas for my boys especially ds1 as hes more awhere of it now i just cant help thinking this time of year what it would be like if i didnt have the boys and was out working with money and friends, is that bad of me?

do you have an email address?

Oh Rose no wonder you're wilting. It's horrible to feel lonely and isolated at Christmas. Do you know any similar lone mums who you could invite round if only for coffee and mince pie on the day while the children play? Or is there a community centre doing a Christmas lunch, you could offer to help out and get a good lunch yourself and have a cheery time into the bargain.
Have you had any advice about the financial situation? You could try the CAB, they are free and very good, and you might feel more positive if you had a plan of action.
Can your brothers not come over to you on a train?
Sorry if all these suggestions aren't appropriate but just wanted to try to cheer you up.

Wiltedrose my words seem pathetic to me when I reread what you are going through. Are there any organnisations who can helpyou. Surely your sons need to be provided for. Can you get milk tokens for example?

yes scorpio its thewiltedrose at hotmail dot com

sorry there underscores between the, wilted, and the rose

Are you on good terms with your mum? If you are, is there any way you can ring her and ask her to help you out with the loan of some money to get you over Christmas?

Secondly, you must get some good advice on benefits. It seems, from your OP, that you're not receiving the full entitlement.

to be honest fluffy i dont know anyone in the midlands all my old friends beloneged to my x so to speak and lost contact with me when we split up and my brothers are spending it with there faamilys, i dont go to any groups so i dont know any other lone mums or anything i kind of stay in the house a lot...

have emailed you x

on the subject of my mum to be honest i am not allowed to see her, she lives with a convicted peodophile and has chosen him over me and her grandchildren so i chos to cut off contact with her, as for help with my situation... could claim bankrupcy however there is a sum of over 200 pounds before i can do it..

Can Crisis at Christmas help? Or LittleLapin with the Mumsnet Christmas present help thingy? Sorry this is so rotten for you.

The salvation army night also be able to help you with christmas food and presents. You know all these appeals that go on asking people to donate presents at christmas? Well the point of them is to help families like yours who are being failed by the system. I know it's not easy to take help like this but you can make a promise to yourself to donate in future years if that helps your pride a little bit.

i fell pregnant with my eldest at the age of 16 so i have never really had frieds my age to go out with and all of ther elder mums i have met seem to expect me to be your typicle yound mum and dont want to bother if knew people i wouldnt mind but i dont so it makes it so much harder...

i hadnt thought of getting help off of anyone like that as i think it would make me feel even more of a failure if you know what i mean? i thought i could handle it but i think im still a little immature when it comes to planning theese kind of things otherwise i would have saved what i could and made sure me and my ids had a better xmas

Rose, check your email.

wilted rose, so sorry i sounds like you are having the worst time . Are you east or west midlands? don't worry though if you don't want to say.. i am in the east mids anyway.Actually i think i will just email you! Thinking of you {{ hugs }}

Thank you for anyone offering to help but i really feel that i couldnt accept, i would hate to feel that i have failed in this way and really just needed to get it off my chest...

If you go at it from the angle of volunteering with an organisation like the Salvos, it might help you not to have feelings of failure when they give you support in return.

oh blimey - thats a lot to be dealing with. i wish i had more practical answers for you, but i wanted you to see at least that people are reading and sympathising. dont know if it means much, but feeling isolated is hellish on its own, let alone with all the other stuff you have on atm.

rose can you email me please?

rachael brook 78 @hotmail .co .uk

thankyou x

im in the west midlands, i have been moving around the midlands for 4 years now since i was 16 but this is my 1st year in a place of my own and i never knew jsut how much bills came to until i moved here, i cant even afford to get a job atm because its to hard to come of the benefites even if they are reduced

TWR please dont feel that you have failed, we all have times where we have to ask for help whether we want to or not. We barely manage to get thru to the end of the month without me panicking if we are gonna run out of food. It makes you feel so awful.

wurlys its ncie to know im not the only one i cant seem to even get through the week without running out of food i feel like i havnt had a proper meal in months, and to top it off ive gor £230 coming out at the end of the month and really dont know how much im going to be able to cover