Need to get it all off my chest before i break down dont have to reply...

[TheWiltedRose]

OK, i feel like im about to burst and its getting worse every day so i think i need to write it all down..

Im 20 and have 2 ds's and this is my first xmas on my own, Im not spending it with my mum because she moved away a while ago and cant get down there, Im not spending it with my dps family as they do not like me or anyone there ds goes out with and have sworn not to invite me this year even though ive been seeing him a year now.

I was supposed to be spending it with my brothers who live in the midlands like me but they were in a little car crash and the car was written off luckily no one was hurt but now i have no way off getting to theres on xmas so that has been cancelled.

Yes its bothering me that i am spending xmas with so few ppl this year but it would be bearable if i had even a little money to do it with.

See income support have cut my money off because i refuse to claim child maintanence as it would cause stress and possibly harm to me and my boys leaving me in a bad state with money, add that onto the fact that i already have a 3 1/2 grand debt that i cant pay off and the council are threatening to kick me out and its just dire, This week i cant even afford to buy milk for ds2 and next week ill be lucky if i can buy nappies...

I have barely any food in the house and no drink other than water so i cant make an xmas dinner other than cheap chips and beans, I havnt even brought many presents for the boys because moneys tight but i have run up a debt now with littlewoods on creditto buy them what i have.

Add to this the fact that my ds1 is 3 on the 29th and then theres news years eve which will be spent in the same was as xmas then u might grasp how im feeling at the moment..

I just dont know how to cope this year or even if ill have a house the next one if things carry on the way they are..

If you got this far then thanks for listening to me...

We all think we're doing a crap job - it's part of that joyous thing called mummy guilt . In fact, we're all bloody fantastic, particularly people like you who are doing it alone. Your boys are beautiful.

I have emailed you wiltedrose, please do reply and take up my offer

Rose I have some Asda vouchers that I will never use (there isn't even an Asda near me) - would they be any use to you?

nine yes they would thank you! can u possibly email me?

O wonder fi there are any netters near you that are in the same position - perhaps you coudl get togethr

Its this time of year that i wish i lived with my dp, he says he going to stay at my house with me but im not so sure we've only been together a year and who would want to give up a family xmas for my house? lol

He'll proberly miss the fact that at his house he can get drunk and merry lol

What about going to Church? Even if you aren't religious at all there might be a creche for the children, they get to see lights and you get to sing some carols and you'll might even all get coffee and a mince pie afterwards. It would be christmassy. Parks are often busy on Christmas morning especially, with the kids getting some exercise before filling up with sweets and being stuck in the house.
Pubs are open too! Why not meet with your dp at a family-friendly pub for a drink at the very least. Then if your dp isn't with you in the evening (and I don't see why he wouldn't want to spend the evening with his lovely girlfriend instead of dull old rellies) then get a fab dvd and curl up and enjoy that, and speak to him and your mum on the phone.

Rose, just wanted to ask - why are his family so mean? Have they no heart? Are they like this with everyone, or just you? Miserable sods! Could they not have invited you and your lovely boys for lunch? It's not exactly the Christmas spirit is it?

the church bit sounds goos mind it im an athiest so lets hope i dont get smited as i step in for not believing lol! And definately the park thats a given i cant have hyperactive kids on a new troke in a house full of dangerously stacked junk

tell me about it LAG, Its not me personally as such its anyone with there son plus i Think the fact that i have kids didnt really help they think he can do better and that im just trying to trap him or something..

There excuse is they dont want to get to know me because they think it wont laast and that he'll run off

The vicar would be thrilled to see a bit of new blood, I bet! And at the park your kids would see other kids with their new bikes, so they'd have a bit of a social time too. How old is your boyfriend? Does he have trouble standing up to his parents?
Make lots of plans for Chrismas day itself so you are really looking forward to it, whatever happens. And see the CAB to try and sort the worst of your money worries.
As for taking help, giving stuff makes people feel really good! You are doing them a favour!

lol ozzy have u met him? Yes he is a bit of a mumms and daddys boy but he is trying to get out of the habit hes 22.

Lets just hope ds1 doesnt see kids at the park with a bigger better trike than him or ill be in trouble! :-S

Going CAB tomorrow to see if they can help me hopefully i can arrange some sort of a repayment plan with all of them or seomthing

WR, the CAB are brilliant for debt! hope everything goes ok, once you've got some plans in place you will feel a lot better!

Thank you all youve all just been fantastic and im feeling very hopfull for a brill xmas day!

i did it let me know when it arrives please, you can find me on antenatal due in April or just email me.

lol scorpio thank you so much!

Have sent you an email WR xx

You sound quite similar to me! Even down to the boyfriend. We've been together a year but his family wont accept it possibly because i have 2 young sons. I spent last christmas entirely alone my boys were with their dad and my mum didn't want me around due to my step dad. Also financially in a very similar situation. Also in the west midlands! Freaky! Where about are you? If you're anywhere near me - Birmingham way then maybe we could meet up over christmas, i have my boys this year

Oh SG, it would be good for you all to meet up.

lol shakey that is scary! im in wolverhampton so near but not if u know what i mean! i dont know my was around b'ham at all but id love to meet for a drink or some food in wolvo sometime if u like?

hang on i just want to check the freakyness factor lol how old r ur boys and what r they called?

going to email you tonight wiltedrose.

Shakeysgirl- I have a morning off (hurrah) tomorrow and plan to post the scalextrix- you should get it for thurs latest

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