Want, need, wear read

[Eileen101]

I've seen this idea floating around - that you base your gift buying around 'something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read'.

Does anyone do this successfully/done it in the past? Was it a good idea? Did it work?

My DC are only 3.5 and nearly 18 months so only small, but we generally pretty non materialistic I think and I'd like it to stay that way. I want my children to learn gratitude etc as they grow up.

As they're so small, there's nothing that they 'want' exactly, but I'm sure that will charge as they get older and start noticing things around them so I thought I'd try this idea out this year of 'want, need, wear, read'.

Interested in hearing other people's though on this :)

I usually think they get enough and they have never said they want more, and opening presents in our home usually lasts two hours with present hunt and everything. But sometimes when I read this threads I feel like a horrible mum.
What you do is more than enough. Really.

Thank you, you're very kind. And your words mean a lot to me.

I suppose I'm not the only mum who is hurt when she reads a post that says it is parent's duty to buy books all through the year and they're not a gift a decent parent would buy to their child for Christmas because books are essential and should be bought all through the year.

Just that... I know we all have different disposable income and I shouldn't feel that way, but sometimes you can't help yourself. Especially when you yourself are that mum who would like to buy all those pretty books but the only thing you can do is take a photo in the bookstore and wait till they're available in your local library.

@kavalkada your Christmas sounds wonderful and you sound like a lovely thoughtful mum

I don't want to dictate how people should post but I do feel that normally there is a kind of unspoken etiquette on the Christmas board which is that it's great to share what you do but there is no reason to criticise what others do. We all do Christmas so differently and we are all privileged to be in a position to even think about gifts at Christmas.

I don't know why people have gone out of their way to criticise what others do on this thread. If you don't like the Want Need Wear Read thing, then it's perfectly okay to say you don't do it, even you don't do it for x and y reason. But you don't have to pick at what others choose to do.

Christmas time can be a sensitive topic as we all know it's a time of consumerism, which is fine, but it can highlight disparity and financial struggles for people. Criticising people's individual choices is not on IMHO.

Kavalkada it's not Christmas without books in our house!
But if kids (or adults!) see something they want, or are waiting for a book to come out them we discuss it and often buy it for a birthday or Christmas. Why anyone would object to that I have idea!

(Tbh I'm at the decluttering stage of life and weigh up carefully if I wouldn't rather get my books from the library so I don't have the job of storing more "stuff!")

I grew up with the joy of unlimited library books. Public libraries are a great gift to all our children.

Should read : why anyone would object..I have NO idea.

I should preview my posts.

Sorry, I really didn't want to turn this topic into something so serious.

Like everybody who is reading Christmas threads in August I'm here because I love Christmas. I had crap Christmas when I was a child and I want my children to have lovely memories. I don't have much disposable income (although things are getting better) but I'm sure that you can have wonderful Christmas on a budget.

Don't worry you didn't!
🎄🦌☃️Merry Christmas when it comes!

@goose1964

I mentioned this to my daughter, she said that it meant she should get 3 books and a hoodie. Not quite what it means.

That would have been about right in this house - 3 brand new just out for Christmas hardbacks of the latest Rick Riordan / equivalent (and if you all buy your kids those 'just because' reading is a good thing then you're a more generous mum than me ) and an 'official' (aka £££s ) Harry Potter / Dr Who / etc item of clothing.

@kavalkada

Sorry, I really didn't want to turn this topic into something so serious.

Like everybody who is reading Christmas threads in August I'm here because I love Christmas. I had crap Christmas when I was a child and I want my children to have lovely memories. I don't have much disposable income (although things are getting better) but I'm sure that you can have wonderful Christmas on a budget.

They will have lovely memories. Christmas should never be about how much money you can throw at it.

No, it's Christmas. You don't have to buy ridiculous amounts of presents, or spends silly money - but you can surely get them more than want, need, wear, read!

Mine have a budget of 120 for main presents and then 50 each for stockings.

I do try and get them a similar amount to open, but as they've gotten older they understand things cost more for older kids and that means less to open! Sometimes I don't stick to the budget all the time, there is some leeway for the older ones,
Within reason!

No, it's Christmas. You don't have to buy ridiculous amounts of presents, or spends silly money - but you can surely get them more than want, need, wear, read!

Mine have a budget of 120 for main presents and then 50 each for stockings

Well it depends on your budget. Some people couldn't afford £170 per child and if you're on a very low income, the want, need, wear, read is quite a nice way to cover all the bases. Not everyone can "surely" get more than this

I've only ever seen it on here and it seems really moralistic and joyless.

Mine have a budget of 120 for main presents and then 50 each for stockings.

Good for you?!

Books are definitely a Christmas present in this house and clothes as well as a few fun things. We really try not to go overboard on the presents but have such a lovely time. We bake, drive round looking at the lights, enjoy decorating the tree, make paper chains and bunting, make hot chocolate, dance around to Christmas songs, watch festive films etc etc. All of that forms part of my favourite memories of Christmas as a child....yes, getting some presents but also seeing family, Christingle services, school nativities, special food and all the other lovely things that make Christmas magical but are nothing to do with receiving presents.

My dd is dyslexic and so books dont rock it

We had just a stocking (no other gifts from us) with about 20 gifts that they would love
Now in their 20s and very well adjusted young people

So far in my present stash for DS aged 2 I have

• illustrated Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (decided he will be a potter head so he's getting one every Christmas until the collection is complete)
• Disney Christmas treasury
• A Christmas Bear
• Nutcracker (the Campbell push/slide books are massive in this house)
• Snowy Animals (also campbell push/slide, as an accompaniment to the Schleich reindeer/penguin/polar bear he will be getting in stocking)
• Mr Men magnetic vehicles book (bought a batch second hand from World of books and decided to keep this one back but he might get it sooner!)

Probably going to stop with the books now, mostly they are Christmas related (Christmas ones going in his 1st December box but it's all the same budget) but I do get regular books during the year too as DS loves his books and I get fed up reading the same ones all the time! I do not feel bad that books are presents because my child loves them. If he hated them I would still try to encourage reading but wouldn't be spending such a chunk of his Christmas budget on things he doesn't like. Likewise, if kids get excited by Paw Patrol pants because only Santa brings fun pants, that's fine too. A 5 pack of plain white from Asda would be bit mean to try to pass off as a present though! Personally I'd probably not be putting a toothbrush in a stocking for a young child but having said that I did personally ask "Santa" for a toothbrush when I was about 12 because I wanted one of the fancy electric ones. Santa obliged. So maybe one of those fun timer toothbrushes would be good, rather than a boring toothbrush. Anything is ok if it's the fun or luxury version and the recipient will like it IMO, that's my personal rule (f)

I don't particularly like the idea, as it's so prescriptive. Especially the "wear" one. Unless it's a luxury like trainers a teen wouldn't usually get/be able to afford.

And "need" isn't really what Christmas is about imo.

@PoshWatchShitShoes

I don't particularly like the idea, as it's so prescriptive. Especially the "wear" one. Unless it's a luxury like trainers a teen wouldn't usually get/be able to afford.

And "need" isn't really what Christmas is about imo.

What if your child needs a bigger bicycle?

Their bike is perfectly fine, it's getting a bit small, but it's the end of November...it's perfectly acceptable to give it a gift for Christmas.

We're not talking about school shoes being given as a gift 🙄

I did this, still do to some extent.

I always get the kids (now 6 and 10):

• A book and an annual
• A smart outfit to wear on Christmas day. This is from me and DH not Santa and always includes a pair of ludicrous shoes (e.g. sparkly ones or superhero ones) that we swore blind we wouldn't buy.
• the big "want" toy, last few years it's been a Lego set or a playmobil set. Like a Lego friends house or the playmobil Ghostbusters house.
• a need. This might be a bike. Or a pair of rollerblades. Or a scooter. It's not an essential to live but it's something they need (sometimes in a v loose sense of the word!)

I encourage the kids to ask for 3 things max from Santa. On the understanding that they won't all appear on Christmas day.

And so far I've been able to heavily suggest what they might like to ask for. E.g. a Nintendo switch was out of budget. So we heavily bigged up playmobil and Lego.

It helps stop me over buying and from panic buying.

I think it’s odd, as are Christmas Eve boxes

I just get my children some things they want and often some things I know they'll love.
The bickering over wants, needs and essentials is odd. If my child asks for a book, a t-shirt or a laptop for Christmas and its an affordable, reasonable request they can have it. I wouldn't say no dear that's a need so think of something else.

But also sometimes the needs have to be gifts. In the case of the pp who said their child needed a new computer for school work so they bought one and it wasn't a gift. That's really fortunate position to be in, there was a time for us where something like that would have to be a gift as we couldn't have afforded to buy a computer and presents.

I do this for DH as he’s a bugger for not buying clothes and wears things until they are threadbare.

Every year I ask him what does he want and I get a vague “I don’t know, just something that smells nice.” Depending on budget I will get him some nice shower gels or a cologne (want), underpants and socks (need), jeans or a cozy jumper (need) and a pop culture book (read).

It doesn’t work as well with the kids because we’re constantly buying them clothes and books throughout the year. They do get new pyjamas and a special book on Christmas Eve, usually with slippers and dressing gowns.

I am actively trying to limit what we buy this year as they got opening fatigue last year and it spoilt the morning. I also don’t want to spoil them. It’s a fine balance between making sure they have enough (a few years ago we were financially struggling and we found it difficult to afford presents), making sure they are happy but making sure they aren’t spoilt or ungrateful for what they have. I’m thinking of letting them buy and donate a present to a needy child this year to show them not everyone is as fortunate as us.

I do the read and want bit. Need and wear stuff is sorted when essential.

We do this for Xmas, plus stocking fillers and small things. Usually "need" is an enjoyable present for them like they "need" this toy to stretch x or y skill (eg climbing frame) and it counts as need even if they have also asked for it (so it's a "want" also)