Page 3 | Want, need, wear read

Eileen101 · 2021-08-18T17:30:11+00:00

I've seen this idea floating around - that you base your gift buying around 'something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read'. Does anyone do this successfully/done it in the past? Was it a good idea? Did it work? My DC are only 3.5 and nearly 18 months so only small, but we generally pretty non materialistic I think and I'd like it to stay that way. I want my children to learn gratitude etc as they grow up. As they're so small, there's nothing that they 'want' exactly, but I'm sure that will charge as they get older and start noticing things around them so I thought I'd try this idea out this year of 'want, need, wear, read'. Interested in hearing other people's though on this :)

Mustbethewine · 19/08/2021 00:12

I think its great if that's how you want to celebrate Christmas and it works for you and your family. I gift clothes for my kids, albeit they're designer brands and cost a small fortune but they're things I couldn't afford to purchase on a day to day basis, so it's a treat. They also get underwear and socks in their stockings every year. I also gift things to read. The only thing I don't gift is things they need as, personally, I think they should be provided and not gifted.

AlexandraQueen · 19/08/2021 00:16

@Strokethefurrywall

It’s fine when they’re little and have no concept of gifts but when they’re older it’s pretty joyless unless you’re on the breadline and can’t afford much.

I'd say it works better as they're older! The 'want' tends to get more and more expensive in the teen years, so if you stick to 4 items, it doesn't make the teen feel bad when their younger sibling is opening mountains of gifts.

myotherusernameisonholiday · 19/08/2021 00:30

We loosely did/do this while the kids are young, though we don't tell them, we just ask what do you want for Christmas, and slotted their ideas in. DC have a lot of grandparents and they gift generously so it's more to keep DH and I in check. He comes from a family where the parents (who are still together) buy separate gifts for their children so they end up with double the amount of gifts.
I think it's down to how you interpret it. The 'need' category has covered anything from new bikes to merlin passes. 'Wear' has been fancy dress, 'read' was personalised peppa pig books one year. If they want anything else and we can afford it and it's reasonable for us to buy it for them, we will, they don't go without because a gift doesn't fit into a category but I try not to get them loads, as I said above, they get a LOT from relatives.

HungryHippo11 · 19/08/2021 04:02

@WallaceinAnderland

Knickers, socks and smellies are ok for adults. Not for kids though.

Why? I mean obviously it wouldn't be their only present, but as an extra stocking filler I think a pack of character pants or fluffy socks is a cute present for kids.

Eviebeans · 19/08/2021 05:43

For my youngest grandchildren I do a toy, a book, a game (like bingo or scrabble that we can play when we meet up over Christmas), and something to wear often pyjamas or something with their current favourite character on.

YesDisney · 19/08/2021 07:43

I always buy knickers and socks for Xmas. Usually expensive/branded/licensed ones that they wouldn’t otherwise get. Obviously not the only thing they get, but they always seem to like them! We all love socks though

Never buy books, learned years ago that they’re a waste of money because both kids hate reading. The youngest is getting a couple of Anime ones this year though.

The cringey rhyme makes me want to poke my eyes out.

CanICelebrate · 19/08/2021 08:20

@00100001
I frequently buy £65 football shirts and they are always a birthday or Christmas present!

Apart from a £100 Nike tracksuit that my son wanted for his birthday one year, I don’t tend buy other clothes for Christmas but do tend to buy them branded stuff through the year when it’s in the sale.

DelphiniumBlue · 19/08/2021 08:23

We have friends who did this -they had 3 DC and a tight budget. It worked well for them, and their now adult children are not at all mercenary.
In our family, books are always welcome- for our DC the latest book in a series they are reading would have been much appreciated. Clothes, not so much, but they have never really been interested in clothes. Even now, as adults, only one of them would consider an extra special item of clothing as something they really wanted. But they do get socks and tshirts in their stockings.For younger children, it could be a dressing-up outfit. For older ones, a more upmarket version of something they would wear a lot - hoody, trainers etc, something cool to replace the old one.
Something they "need" could be paints or colouring pencils/pens, or Play-Doh and craft equipment- they "need" it as in you'd buy it for them anyway, and then the "want" would be their main present.
I think the thing is not to swamp them presents. I can remember as toddlers they can get quite overwhelmed, and actually what they like best is a few boxes to climb in and out of, and a grown-up to help them make a camp or play a game.
In fact one of my best parent tips is not to give them everything at once, but stretch it out over a few days....nothing is more appreciated than the "forgotten present" that appears a few days after Christmas when you think it's all over!
We always open our presents together, one at a time, showing everyone else..I think it teaches them not to be too grabby and to actually appreciate the present before moving on to the next.

LemonRoses · 19/08/2021 08:28

Our stockings have always been pretty much that. I suppose our main presents are too - but the read is for stockings. Stockings are things they need, but maybe a more expensive version of shampoo or mascara. Always a book and magazine. Always new underwear, socks, tights.

ExtremelyDisorganised · 19/08/2021 08:33

Worthy and joyless, I hate that saying. By all means buy socks, books etc if they will make your DC happy but there are other ways of avoiding materialism at Christmas.

goose1964 · 19/08/2021 08:35

I mentioned this to my daughter, she said that it meant she should get 3 books and a hoodie. Not quite what it means.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 19/08/2021 08:36

I used this for stocking fillers (which in our house are literally small, low cost gifts which will fit in a stocking). Not for the main gift(s).

Also would add in something to do (eg mini puzzle)

00100001 · 19/08/2021 08:43

@Antwerpen

Completely joyless

Why?

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 19/08/2021 08:47

What do people saying 'joyless' put in their children's stockings out of interest?

00100001 · 19/08/2021 08:48

@ExtremelyDisorganised

Worthy and joyless, I hate that saying. By all means buy socks, books etc if they will make your DC happy but there are other ways of avoiding materialism at Christmas.

Why is it joyless for example to buy your child a new bike (need) a Switch (want) a Unicorn onesie (wear) and a Minecraft Encyclopedia (read)

Or your partner a new mobile (need) a pair of concert tickets (want), the latest book in their favourite series (read) and a cashmere sweater (wear)

You really don't have to do thing like buy...a pair of pants, a dictionary, a new toothbrush and a popper toy and call it done

LemonRoses · 19/08/2021 08:51

I have to say, our children are now adults and we aren’t on a tight budget but they’d be very upset if they didn’t get their underwear in their stockings. They’ve moved on to Agent Provocateur knickers from Disney ones, but they have always been very excited by undies and nightwear on Christmas morning. Certainly not joyless.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 19/08/2021 08:52

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

What do people saying 'joyless' put in their children's stockings out of interest?

We don’t do stockings, tried once but hardly anything fits unless you go for essentials or sweets so didn’t bother again. Don’t like novelty items unless I know they will last and be used rather than end up in landfill.

I’d not be impressed to open new pants or a toothbrush etc at Christmas as those are every day needs and for me Christmas is special and about what the person wants not needs.

We use lists as a guide then DH and I each choose extras to ensure there are lots of surprises too.

JustFrustrated · 19/08/2021 08:54

I hate it. And hate the "I want them to have gratitude" you just used to justify it.

You can have gratitude and still be spoilt rotten at Christmas and birthdays.

The two aren't mutually exclusive. And gratitude is about more than just gifts FFS.

Sisisimone · 19/08/2021 08:58

Why is it joyless for example to buy your child a new bike (need) a Switch (want) a Unicorn onesie (wear) and a Minecraft Encyclopedia (read). Or your partner a new mobile (need) a pair of concert tickets (want), the latest book in their favourite series (read) and a cashmere sweater (wear).You really don't have to do thing like buy...a pair of pants, a dictionary, a new toothbrush and a popper toy and call it done

But why do it at all? Why try and pigeon hole everything into a stupid little rhyme? Why not just spend what you can afford on things you know they will love. It's not difficult. They even write us lists FFS

00100001 · 19/08/2021 09:02

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

You can fit loads into stockings, when DS was growing up he'd get things like...cars, mini Lego bags, chocolate coins, fidget toys, scratch cards, whistles, puzzle books, mini puzzles, slime, bath bombs, stickers, sweets, magic flannels etc

00100001 · 19/08/2021 09:03

@Sisisimone

Why is it joyless for example to buy your child a new bike (need) a Switch (want) a Unicorn onesie (wear) and a Minecraft Encyclopedia (read). Or your partner a new mobile (need) a pair of concert tickets (want), the latest book in their favourite series (read) and a cashmere sweater (wear).You really don't have to do thing like buy...a pair of pants, a dictionary, a new toothbrush and a popper toy and call it done

But why do it at all? Why try and pigeon hole everything into a stupid little rhyme? Why not just spend what you can afford on things you know they will love. It's not difficult. They even write us lists FFS

To help limit the sheer amount of stuff
stop present creep

Help keep to a budget

To help decide which if the 39 requested items to buy

Because you want to

TryingtobePrepared · 19/08/2021 09:14

@Hercisback this is us totally i wouldn't buy character knickers usually but they often come in a stocking. A much wanted but not needed, and in my view overpriced, onesie got bought one year. So although the dc do get clothes it's something a bit unusual or special, that they wouldn't usually get, not an everyday need.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 19/08/2021 09:21

We don’t do stockings, tried once but hardly anything fits unless you go for essentials or sweets so didn’t bother again. Don’t like novelty items unless I know they will last and be used rather than end up in landfill.

Stockings were the highlight of our Christmas as children, we didn't get much else. We've carried on the tradition and our now adult children won't let us stop. There are stocking filler threads full of ideas that aren't sweets or useless tack or essential items and you can pack loads into a stocking.
Not saying you should do them, of course your choice entirely, but your reasoning behind why not is flawed.

NotNowBernarrd · 19/08/2021 09:22

It would definitely be gifts based around those categories

I don't really see what the alternative to this would be. Get your children presents that you don't think they would want?

mam0918 · 19/08/2021 09:23

@Hercisback

😂 At the frothing about clothes.

I deliberately give my kids pants, socks, toiletries etc in their stocking. Possibly slightly upgraded versions to the everyday stuff but I figure I'd have to buy it anyway, it's less wasteful and they will grow up with it so it will be expected.

Plenty of adults ASK for books, so do children.

My children ASK for food/snacks several times a day... doesnt make it a gift lol.