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Original poster

Want, need, wear read

173 replies

Eileen101 · 18/08/2021 18:30

I've seen this idea floating around - that you base your gift buying around 'something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read'.

Does anyone do this successfully/done it in the past? Was it a good idea? Did it work?

My DC are only 3.5 and nearly 18 months so only small, but we generally pretty non materialistic I think and I'd like it to stay that way. I want my children to learn gratitude etc as they grow up.

As they're so small, there's nothing that they 'want' exactly, but I'm sure that will charge as they get older and start noticing things around them so I thought I'd try this idea out this year of 'want, need, wear, read'.

Interested in hearing other people's though on this :)

OP posts:
00100001 · 18/08/2021 20:31

@CanICelebrate

I don’t like it as like others, I don’t think Christmas isn’t about things you need or clothing, although a £60 football shirt would class as a want not a need! I get mine one or two big things and then a sack off Santa (even though the teenagers don’t believe in Santa!) My parents get them lots too and so they do end up getting quite a lot of stuff but it’s only once a year and it’s fun!
Again, what if your child requested a bra d new football kit. It's something you wear, but you presumably wouldn't buy it as matter of course like ... A t-shirt.
Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo · 18/08/2021 20:32

I think it is quite a strange way to choose presents...too prescriptive!

00100001 · 18/08/2021 20:35

@mam0918

I see it mentioned all the time on here but personally think it sounds awful.

Things to 'wear' and 'needs' are NOT gifts they are just our responsability as parents and 'read' isn't a gift imo but an educational tool you should encourage anyway.

I mean it might work for adults but for kids it just feels like you expect to be thanked for the basic things you already owe your kids.

Yeah, but...it doesn't have to be a pair of pants and a new washing up brush...does it?

The something to wear might be a lovely new cashmere sweater and the something you need might be a really nice new handbag...?

O in the kids case, something to wear might be a new Man Utd football kit, or a new Dress Up outfit...they something they need might be an iPad or a new bike?

00100001 · 18/08/2021 20:35

@Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo

I think it is quite a strange way to choose presents...too prescriptive!
I think it's a great way to focus on thoughtful gifts and limit 'padding' presents
itsgettingwierd · 18/08/2021 20:37

I like it and follow it but I don't tend to just stick at 4 presents.

So if it's a year he needs pyjamas I may buy him a few sets as wear. Other years it's been multi packs of t shirts and tracksuit bottoms, or dressing gown, or hoody etc. I'd usually buy 2-3 items of clothing.

To read I'll usually get him a few books. He loves cars etc so I'd get non fiction books so he had enough to last him.

Need is always swimming stuff (he's a swimmer!). So new jammers every year, sometimes he'll need new racing goggles or a towel, or new club kit piece. Sometimes it'll be new float or pull bouy.

Then he gets 1 thing he wants.

If I'm entirely honest all the read, wear and need is stuff he'll need but it's nice to gift it at Christmas rather than buy in Oct/nov and only have 1 thing under the tree!

itsgettingwierd · 18/08/2021 20:41

[quote Hercisback]@burritofan It's great. My mum still gets me pants from Marks every year. Grin[/quote]
My mum buys me socks every Christmas and birthday (they are equally spread)

I love really soft socks and the m and s ones and I bet trainer socks and proper socks.

I'd actually be disappointed if I didn't get my socks BlushGrin

Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo · 18/08/2021 20:45

I think it's a great way to focus on thoughtful gifts and limit 'padding' presents

I think the opposite; that it makes them less thoughtful as trying to stick to a limiting list. It’s not the number of gifts that’s restrictive but the twee little rhyme.

LozzaChops101 · 18/08/2021 20:52

I like it! I think it's sort of what I tend to do with adult presents, but I go for books or items of clothing etc that they'd not treat themselves to, rather than buying essentials that should be provided anyway that previous posters are referring to. I don't see how that can't translate to kids' presents with something a bit more "special" than "essential."

WallaceinAnderland · 18/08/2021 20:54

Knickers, socks and smellies are ok for adults. Not for kids though.

manhattenrain · 18/08/2021 21:02

Yes and it's great! We do the something you want, need wear, read from Santa and then a bigger gift from us (say a bike or doll house.)

00100001 · 18/08/2021 21:06

@Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo

I think it's a great way to focus on thoughtful gifts and limit 'padding' presents

I think the opposite; that it makes them less thoughtful as trying to stick to a limiting list. It’s not the number of gifts that’s restrictive but the twee little rhyme.

How is it less thoughtful to think of 4 good gifts?

It's easy to bung in thoughtless firsts to make their gifts "look better". It's tooe ays to go 'oh I'll get them a couple of Baird games ,and a doll and maybe some slime (or whatever) because you feel the need to pad the gifts out.

Where as if you are only buying four presents, you want then to be good/worthwhile/thoughtful and having the twee rhyme can help you choose. You don't have to stick to it religiously, obviously. But it doesn't also mean that you have to get 'boring' gifts either. Like you don't have to buy a toothbrush for a 6yo as something they need. You could easily buy them a new scooter because their old one is a bit small for them/falling apart.

GreyhoundG1rl · 18/08/2021 21:12

They're gifts, they should all come under the "something you want" heading.

If this includes books and clothes; great. If it doesn't, what's the point?

Sisisimone · 18/08/2021 21:26

I cringe every time I hear this twee little phrase trotted out on mumsnet. Its just oh so worthy. Who in real life gives small children, or anyone else for that matter, necessities as Christmas presents. Things children need and clothes are the responsibility of parents to provide. If your child likes reading books are just standard stocking fillers anyway. Presents should just be what you want, for all age groups. A day that we treat our families and friends. I love to see the joy on dds face when she opens her presents and they're much longed for gifts.

manhattenrain · 18/08/2021 21:32

@Sisisimone

I cringe every time I hear this twee little phrase trotted out on mumsnet. Its just oh so worthy. Who in real life gives small children, or anyone else for that matter, necessities as Christmas presents. Things children need and clothes are the responsibility of parents to provide. If your child likes reading books are just standard stocking fillers anyway. Presents should just be what you want, for all age groups. A day that we treat our families and friends. I love to see the joy on dds face when she opens her presents and they're much longed for gifts.
Wear could be a costume, fancy dress or expensive outfit that they otherwise would not get. And since when are books stocking stuffers?
MrsMiddleMother · 18/08/2021 21:34

I think it's a good guide

Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo · 18/08/2021 21:46

Binary-I think because it is trying to think of things to fit the ditty. Just choose things you know they’d love.

00100001 · 18/08/2021 22:39

@Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo

Binary-I think because it is trying to think of things to fit the ditty. Just choose things you know they’d love.
Fair enough :)
00100001 · 18/08/2021 22:45

@Sisisimone

I cringe every time I hear this twee little phrase trotted out on mumsnet. Its just oh so worthy. Who in real life gives small children, or anyone else for that matter, necessities as Christmas presents. Things children need and clothes are the responsibility of parents to provide. If your child likes reading books are just standard stocking fillers anyway. Presents should just be what you want, for all age groups. A day that we treat our families and friends. I love to see the joy on dds face when she opens her presents and they're much longed for gifts.
Again... People are wilfully misinterpreting the need/wear/read parts...

the need doesn't have to be new school shoes, or pants or a toothbrush....what if the need is something more expensive/wow facto...eg a new tablet or phone or a bike etc all perfectly acceptable things to give as presents, despite them being a need.

Something to read might be a special edition of a book they like, such as the illustrated Harry Potter books.... or a giant Minecraft encyclopedia that wouldn't ordinarily be a run of the mill reading book... or a subscription to a comic...

Something to wear might be an Oodie or an expensive pair of trainers, or a pirate dress up outfit because they're mad for pirates. All perfectly acceptable as presents.

AlexanderArnold · 18/08/2021 22:50

I like it, personally. 'Wear' is usually nice branded stuff that they enjoy, and 'need' is something for their hobbies but usually very high end. It works for us because the older two usually want one particular high end gift and aren't fussed about anything else, so clothes, hobby/sports kit and books are perfect.

Danikm151 · 18/08/2021 22:51

I did this for my son’s 1st Birthday. Want- bubble machine because I was sick of blowing bubbles. Need- stacking blocks to help with his fine motor skills. Wear. Read- more books to add to his growing collection.
It’s a good mantra to stick to. Makes budgeting easier too.
Inevitably they end up getting presents from relatives/friends too. At least you have some sense of control

Cherryrainbow · 18/08/2021 23:41

It's not something I could stick to personally but I've seen people do good jobs of it on YouTube "what I got my kids for xmas" type videos, and some buy several items per category. As others have said needs come under anything from toiletries to backpacks, stationery to hobby items like clothing for dance, things for horse riding, painting supplies, or homeware for the bedroom like fairy lights or mirrors, art work and stuff like that.

On pinterest I've seen minimal gift lifts with additional categories like something to make, something to share, something to play as a family stuff like that.

I found when my son was younger I would have themes for presents, like one year it was circus stuff, dragons and knights, and building. I got books, puzzles, play sets etc. I think when your kid has specific interests or shows and things they like you naturally buy things of that theme for gifts.

My love types are service and gifting so I always go bonkers over Xmas lol I just stick to a budget. As the kids get older the piles get smaller anyway due to expense.

Choccorocco · 19/08/2021 00:01

This is overthinking it, surely? I don’t think that this structured frugal attitude will create either gratitude or a non-materialistic attitude in your kids, they’re more likely to pick this up in a positive way from you and how you live your life, not being taught it via some fun-sucking ditty. I suppose it’s ok if it gives you some guidance about what you should get, but it sounds like you’re pretty clear about not getting th tonnes of fripperies already. Please tell me people don’t chant it at their children to help them to learn to limit their expectations?! Eek!

Antwerpen · 19/08/2021 00:03

Completely joyless

lannistunut · 19/08/2021 00:05

We used this. It made the list writing easy and kept it under control. Then loads of surprises too.

Christmas is very much surprises, birthdays more list-based in our house.

Strokethefurrywall · 19/08/2021 00:12

It’s fine when they’re little and have no concept of gifts but when they’re older it’s pretty joyless unless you’re on the breadline and can’t afford much.