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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Want, need, wear read

173 replies

Eileen101 · 18/08/2021 18:30

I've seen this idea floating around - that you base your gift buying around 'something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read'.

Does anyone do this successfully/done it in the past? Was it a good idea? Did it work?

My DC are only 3.5 and nearly 18 months so only small, but we generally pretty non materialistic I think and I'd like it to stay that way. I want my children to learn gratitude etc as they grow up.

As they're so small, there's nothing that they 'want' exactly, but I'm sure that will charge as they get older and start noticing things around them so I thought I'd try this idea out this year of 'want, need, wear, read'.

Interested in hearing other people's though on this :)

OP posts:

HungryHippo11 · 18/08/2021 18:37

I quite like the idea of it. Last year we got them these 4, plus stocking which is just small bits like stickers, books, socks. So not a lot.

BUT I have a huge family who all want to buy them things, so even if I go minimalist and only buy them 4 things, they still end up with loads. Last year they had about 30 gifts each I think. As my kids are young, people like to buy them things rather than giving money but I might be a bit more insistent this year about fewer, quality items.

However my kids are still grateful and not materialistic. My daughters favorite toy are some shiny pebbles we got on holiday for £2.

PhantomErik · 18/08/2021 18:40

I haven't really done this as one present for each category but I do cover all categories to suit each of my DC.

All I would say is if you want to stay with less materialistic then definitely start as you mean to go on. Keep it a small pile so that that is what your DC knows/expects & is delighted by. It's much harder to scale back afterwards if you start big.

We do stockings & 1 gift from Father Christmas & the rest from us parents. Other gifts from relatives are given separately.

WallaceinAnderland · 18/08/2021 18:49

I'm not a fan. Something you want - yes. Something you need should be provided anyway. Something to wear also should be provided and not everyone is into reading.

Terminallysleepdeprived · 18/08/2021 18:51

We cover all bases on this but it isn't limited to 1 present per sector.

MsMarple · 18/08/2021 18:58

It seems a bit prescriptive! Why not just get them a gift that you think they’ll really like, according to your budget?

Original poster

Eileen101 · 18/08/2021 18:59

Interesting answers, thanks :)

It would definitely be gifts based around those categories, rather than strictly 4 presents each, so the same as terminally sleep deprived's idea.

WallaceinAnderland I can see your point. I think with regard to clothes, the basics would be provided for sure as a matter of routine! While they're this small and with my DS's interests, the something to wear would easily be covered by a firemam costume or similar but I'm not really sure how it'd be carried forward as they get older... Maybe a branded hoodie or something that you wouldn't normally buy or would ask them to save some of their pocket money for. Interesting to think about for when they get older - small ones are much easier in this category I think.

Fortunately in terms of books, my eldest is book mad and smallest seems to be going that way too. I've got several books stashed away already so that category is easily covered several times over

OP posts:

PermanentTemporary · 18/08/2021 19:01

Depends how you look at it. I give two presents to ds at Christmas - main present plus a book. I don't call that minimalist.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 18/08/2021 19:05

Not a fan, we don’t buy clothes for Christmas as see them as essentials and we bought books all through the year as didn’t want them to associate them with special occasions but rather a daily thing.

Gifts should be about wants not need.

MauveMagnolia · 18/08/2021 19:08

I think it is sad. Clothes and book are essentials not gifts. If they need something then they need it- would they have to wait 11 months for a birthday?

We have always bought what they wanted- that may have cost £2 or £100 but always the one thing that would make their faces light up.

TweedePrik · 18/08/2021 19:22

No. It's Christmas and it should be fun. Like PP said, clothes and books are essentials, not main Xmas pressies. Though over the years I have bought that special hoodie or a book dc might like. I have always gone with the letter/list to Santa etc and bought what was appropriate according to budget.

IamChipmunk · 18/08/2021 19:24

I don't like it personally. We do a santa sack and stocking from Santa and then a few other gifts from us. I do include things from Santa that I would have got anyway like drinks bottles and sweets but like to make sure they have some toys they really want without the piles looking ridiculous and over the top.

twiggytwoo · 18/08/2021 19:25

I think it's a good guide for present giving especially if you want to bulk up presents without filling your home with tat!

WallaceinAnderland · 18/08/2021 19:29

@Eileen101

Interesting answers, thanks :)

It would definitely be gifts based around those categories, rather than strictly 4 presents each, so the same as terminally sleep deprived's idea.

Fortunately in terms of books, my eldest is book mad and smallest seems to be going that way too. I've got several books stashed away already so that category is easily covered several times over

If it's branded clothes they want, that would come under the 'want' category. Honestly, I think it's too boring and prescriptive. Just decide a budget and get what they want.

Also, I agree with PP that books should be freely available all the time. I don't know what libraries are like in your area but we always got about 8 books a week out when dc were little. Second hand book shops also good for cheap books.

MissyB1 · 18/08/2021 19:29

We do this but again not limited to one per category. Clothes this year will be mountain biking jacket and trousers, these are expensive specialised items and therefore have to be a present.
He’s a complete bookworm and yes he does get books all year round - but he still wants more for Christmas!

DingoDollar · 18/08/2021 19:31

Depends on the age of the kids.

But mine aren't old really enough to think of clothes as a gift. And as a parent it's my job to dress them anyway.

Same with other things they "need" - if it's a genuine need then it's my job to fulfil it.

They only put 3 things on their lists anyway. So anything beyond that are surprises/a bonus.

mam0918 · 18/08/2021 19:47

I see it mentioned all the time on here but personally think it sounds awful.

Things to 'wear' and 'needs' are NOT gifts they are just our responsability as parents and 'read' isn't a gift imo but an educational tool you should encourage anyway.

I mean it might work for adults but for kids it just feels like you expect to be thanked for the basic things you already owe your kids.

Indecisivelurcher · 18/08/2021 19:51

Yes we (roughly) do this within our own family, as in me, dh, Dd6 & ds4. Other family members still buy us numerous gifts and the kids have stuff coming out of their ears...

MazDazzle · 18/08/2021 19:54

From a very early age we said that our children could ask Santa for one thing (they also get some smaller gifts from us). As they’ve got older, we now allow them to ask ‘Santa’ for something (the youngest still believes) and us for something - so two gifts of their choice and a few small gifts.

We also forged a letter from Santa saying how pleased he was that they only asked for one thing!

Hercisback · 18/08/2021 19:56

😂 At the frothing about clothes.

I deliberately give my kids pants, socks, toiletries etc in their stocking. Possibly slightly upgraded versions to the everyday stuff but I figure I'd have to buy it anyway, it's less wasteful and they will grow up with it so it will be expected.

Plenty of adults ASK for books, so do children.

CiaoForNiao · 18/08/2021 20:01

I always used a variation on that for stockings when dc were small (we did something to eat, ie chocolate coins, rather than something to wear) .
It worked well for us.

burritofan · 18/08/2021 20:02

@Hercisback, yes! Absolute tradition in our family to get given your knickers and socks in the stocking. I got sanitary towels and deodorant once

Hercisback · 18/08/2021 20:07

@burritofan It's great. My mum still gets me pants from Marks every year.

CalmDownFaye · 18/08/2021 20:08

@Hercisback yes me too! Knickers, socks etc were always a staple stocking gift from baby to leaving home and I loved it! Same with DC now with re: clothes- I do get them bits but usually the hideous paw patrol jumper or frozen dress they’ve been dying for for weeks. Kills two birds! We aren’t prescriptive with categories though and give more than 4 presents.

CanICelebrate · 18/08/2021 20:13

I don’t like it as like others, I don’t think Christmas isn’t about things you need or clothing, although a £60 football shirt would class as a want not a need!
I get mine one or two big things and then a sack off Santa (even though the teenagers don’t believe in Santa!) My parents get them lots too and so they do end up getting quite a lot of stuff but it’s only once a year and it’s fun!

00100001 · 18/08/2021 20:30

@WallaceinAnderland

I'm not a fan. Something you want - yes. Something you need should be provided anyway. Something to wear also should be provided and not everyone is into reading.

Yeah, but what if the thing to wear is a much coveted £250 pair of trainers?

Not necessary, but desired.

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