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Original poster

Worried I’ll spend Xmas stopping kids from wrecking the joint

175 replies

SpikyCactus · 27/09/2018 23:39

DP and I are hosting Xmas dinner this year. We previously lived in a tiny rented flat so have never hosted, but we bought our first home recently and have ordered new furniture. Chuffed that it will be lovely for Xmas, we texted photos of what we picked to our family.

SIL has replied “will the kids even be allowed to come in lol? You know they’re boisterous and will bash toys off the furniture”. I said they won’t be allowed to do that in my home but my DS has a big padded mat that he plays on and I’ve also ordered an indoor tent so I can set up a nice play corner for the kids. SIL said “good luck, it’ll be a laugh watching you trying to make them play on the mat, they hate being restricted and will scream if you try to make them stay there”.

AIBU to be annoyed? My own DS is younger than his cousins but he plays on the mat no problem and understands that he isn’t permitted to hit the furniture. I’m now not looking forward to Xmas because I’m worried I’ll spend the whole time stopping the kids from wrecking the joint. We saved for a long time and can’t afford to replace damaged furniture. I can foresee me kicking off because the kids whack my new table and it’ll end in a huge argument.

OP posts:
Harleypuppy · 28/09/2018 12:31

I was with you until the comment about Ikea furniture. I like Ikea furniture. You don't need to be a snob about it.

Original poster
SpikyCactus · 28/09/2018 12:55

I like Ikea furniture too. My point was that it’s inexpensive and SIL chooses to spend her money on other things. Therefore the kids are allowed to just wreck her house because they aren’t used to living with expensive furniture that they aren’t allowed to bash.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpikyCactus · 28/09/2018 12:57

I didn’t invite the 2 and 4yo. MIL and SIL insisted it was our turn to host now we have a house and DP agreed. Which is fine as long as they respect our home, which doesn’t seem to be the case. I’d prefer not to have them here tbh, they are feral.

OP posts:
SillySallySingsSongs · 28/09/2018 13:00

Therefore the kids are allowed to just wreck her house because they aren’t used to living with expensive furniture that they aren’t allowed to bash.

Well if you think a DC knows the value of your expensive furniture then you are heading for a massive fall.

Glass tables and young children also don't mix!

SoyDora · 28/09/2018 13:03

We have a mixture of Ikea furniture, hand me downs and expensive furniture. The DC aren’t allowed to bash or wreck any of it, which is nothing to do with how much it costs and everything to do with boundaries.
Absolutely not a chance they’d play solely on one mat though (at 4 and 3).

Original poster
SpikyCactus · 28/09/2018 13:12

Glass tables and young children also don't mix!
They mix fine if they aren’t allowed to touch each other. DS isn’t permitted to touch the table for safety reasons (or the fire, or the oven, or the heavy self closing door).

OP posts:
blueskiesandforests · 28/09/2018 13:18

How old is your DS spikey ?

Not being allowed to touch the living room table is quite restrictive.

Sparklyfee · 28/09/2018 13:22

Will he be allowed to relax and enjoy life and special occasions when he is 4 or will he have to sit on a mat quietly colouring? If he breaks in to an excited run at any point or absentmindedly lays a finger on the table will you "punish" him and call him "feral"?

Original poster
SpikyCactus · 28/09/2018 13:23

I don’t see why it’s ok to prevent him touching the fire but not to prevent him touching an equally dangerous glass table?

OP posts:
PodgeBod · 28/09/2018 13:24

Why are you avoiding the question of how old he is? Is he under 1?

SoyDora · 28/09/2018 13:25

Where does he eat? Do play doh/crafts etc?

Original poster
SpikyCactus · 28/09/2018 13:26

If my child wrecks something in the future then I’ll take responsibility for that. But I don’t want other people’s kids wrecking my stuff. Kind of like if you broke your own phone you’d be annoyed at yourself but if your friend did it you’d be livid.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpikyCactus · 28/09/2018 13:27

Yes my DS is under 1. He plays freely in his own room, or on his mat inside his playpen if he’s downstairs.

OP posts:
Kemer2018 · 28/09/2018 13:28

Its why I am waiting till kids are older before buying new furniture. I've got the money now, but cba with the stress of policing/protecting new, expensive furniture.
Stress!

missyB1 · 28/09/2018 13:28

Why would you buy impractical and dangerous furniture like glass tables? Are you deliberately trying to make life difficult?

If I was your sil I’d say “thanks but no thanks” I’d rather be able to relax on Christmas Day and not have to walk on eggshells.
Don’t worry even if you do end up hosting Christmas you will probably never have to do it again, as no one will ever want to return.

Original poster
SpikyCactus · 28/09/2018 13:28

He eats in his high chair at the dining table like a normal child.

OP posts:
PodgeBod · 28/09/2018 13:28

I wouldn't be livid if my friend broke my phone... I would expect them to cover the cost to fix it. But then I don't classify my neices and nephews as just other people's kids (or call them feral)

Original poster
SpikyCactus · 28/09/2018 13:29

Why would you buy impractical and dangerous furniture like glass tables?
Because I wanted it and our lives don’t revolve around DS.

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 28/09/2018 13:30

Fires are generally hot and unsafe for small children, or indeed adults to touch.

Coffee tables are for general use. Your child may want to put their drink on it, maybe a plate with some food, they might want to play with their toys/books/puzzles on it, if they are pre walking they may use it to pull up and aid walking.

They are two very different things in terms of safety.

blueskiesandforests · 28/09/2018 13:31

Because you don't need a glass table which is as dangerous as a fire. You do need an oven.

We got rid of a metal coffee table with a stone top because of sharp edges when dc1 became mobile as it was an accident waiting to happen. We dismissed the glass topped dining tables out of hand as totally inappropriate, when buying a new dinning table.

Everyone I know avoids glass and other dangerous materials or furniture designs where there are safer alternatives once they have mobile babies and toddlers. Not to is making quite a statement.

Original poster
SpikyCactus · 28/09/2018 13:33

We obviously have different ideas of what coffee tables are for. They’re for coffee. Not for food, which is eaten at the dining table. Not for puzzles, which are played with on the playmat. Definitely not for pulling up onto!

OP posts:
Sparklyfee · 28/09/2018 13:33

The whole time your child is downstairs you confine him to a playpen or a high chair? Because your lives don't revolve around DS enough to make sure his home is safe enough for him? Confused

Poor baby

ApolloandDaphne · 28/09/2018 13:33

Gosh I don't know where to start. Your under 1 yo is confined to a playpen or their room to play?

I feel very sorry for your child. He is being held back developmentally by not being allowed to explore his world.

When he is older your whole world is going to explode. Either that or you will raise a sad and lonely child who is afraid to be their own self in their own home.

blueskiesandforests · 28/09/2018 13:34

How long are you planning to confine his play to his bedroom and a mat inside a playpen?

Were you planning on putting Sail's 2 and 4 year olds in the playpen, if that's where it is for your baby?

averythinline · 28/09/2018 13:34

2 and 4 yr olds are very different - to a 1yr old that plays in a playpen...

could you not put some of the more fragile furniture away for their visit (glass table especially v dangerous)
my cousins were more 'boisterious' than us so my mum moved everything fragile to her bedroom and locked it! if they visited...

they are unlikely to deliberately scratch furniture but stuff is going to get a bit knocked over time.....

how about a small trampoline or something in the garden most young dc get bored of being stuck in esp when theres lot so fadults just chatting - I would get them outside playing to burn off some energy...