Poncetastic Christmas 2018

[VivaJen]

I know we have the "Any Ponces Around?" thread but in honour of Fellatio Nelson here is the 2018 Poncetastic Thread.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@TrickyD ooh I've always wanted to do the biscuit tree! Is it quite easy to do? Looks fab!

I loved our biscuits tree last year. I made it with gingerbread and a liberal dusting of icing sugar. Made just before Christmas as a table centre piece, under a glass cloche. It lasted until our new year party where we all devoured it 😆.

Sorry forgot to say. So easy to do. Just time consuming as I like to chill them before baking and I also only have 1 small oven at the moment..... dreams of having 4 eye level ovens like the hairy bikers!

De-lurking, a minor pounce for those making up hampers etc - firelighters made with pine cones. Lots of 'recipes' online. Slight problem is that after my daughter (the only one with a fire) finishes work after being surrounded by Christmas smells for 3 months I have to do say a rhubarb scent!

Long time lurker too.

Feel a bit nervous as I'm working full time and teaching and Christmas basically is a bit mad so poncing is taking planning!!

Sloe gin has been in over a month
Origami star garland nearly made
Ponced an artificial wreath. I've always foraged and done fresh before (as per pic) but not sure I would have time this year as we finish 21st of December. I've added sparkly bits and probably will wire on some orange bits too as last year's was lovely.
Next up is spiced pear and cranberry chutney as FIL loves it. And I too fancy doing those candied cranberries for puddings.
Oranges are shrivelled and I'll try and do a real garland for the fireplace again.

Anyone have the candied cranberry recipe?

Here's how to crystallise cranberries:

I have found my people. I love Christmas. My wife hates it. I need to find ways to discreetly and gradually sneak in the Christmas ponce until suddenly she looks up and is like ‘oh! This is just marvellous!’

Thank you @nowordforfluffy

I visited the garden centre of financial doom with the kids today. I wanted it all [santa]

I'm avoiding our local Dobbies for fear of bankrupting myself!

Oh! I’m not even supposed to be thinking about Christmas at all til Dec 1st, it’s my promise to myself. But yesterday I bought 4 very small, retro china toucan decorations (they sound gross I know, but they’re LUSH) and I also made this:

We've had a stressful year, so I'm planning on throwing myself into Christmas to forget the other nonsense for awhile.

Our tree is actually already up - we are decidedly UNponcetastic in our tree as while it is a lovely 8 ft artificial tree, the "theme" is an interesting mix of old fashioned stuff and ornaments we have had for years. No colour theme as the children would fall apart if we didn't use our traditional ornaments!

I'll have to dress up Christmas in other ways.

First batch of mince pies done. We've eaten a few sad-looking specimens, but the rest will be frozen for eating throughout December. 😋🎄🎅

It's this recipe attached if anyone fancies it.

Fantastic thread, thank you.
I doChristmas, definitely do it, and this year have a secondary project. We’re going away just after to a rather bleak skiing chalet. My plan is to take as much practical and poncey stuff as practical.
Definitely taking fairy lights, dozens of candles, several warm hygge rugs; any portable make ahead ideas very welcome.

I'm going to make mince pies shortly and freeze. Also sausage rolls, red cabbage and cauliflower cheese.

I'd like to freeze Christmas biscuit dough in advance- not sure what it will do to the texture- does anyone have any tips on how best to do this?

I'll make palmiers with cheese and bacon and freeze as a roll, just slice thinly before cooking. These are always hugely popular and so easy.

Does anyone have any other things they make and freeze in advance? For the first year I have an extra freezer so more space! Also I'll be very heavily pregnant and doing loads of entertaining so keen to get as much done as possible.

@starryeyedsnowgirl my Christmas cookie doughs are in the freezer already - in my experience all but the most fragile biscuit doughs freeze perfectly. I used Nigella's chocolate chip cookie recipe (though I've used mint chocolate chunks instead in one batch and cranberries and white chocolate chips in another), and it never fails. Try googling 'freezer biscuit recipes' for recipes that work better if the dough is frozen - usually they involve making a big sausage of dough and slicing off your biscuits.

Finding this thread is like coming home!

I'm always lurking on these lovely threads around this time of year, but I'm just posting now to share a slow cooker fudge recipe for @dementedma and anyone else who might be interested. I've made it a few times now and it's so easy, you don't have to do anything except chuck the ingredients in the slow cooker and stir it every now and then.

The recipe uses M&Ms for decoration, but you can substitute with whatever chocolates/sweets you like - or just make it plain which is also v nice.

www.kidspot.com.au/kitchen/recipes/slow-cooker-chocolate-fudge-3636

Thanks for that, I'm going to make that with DC.

Chocolate slow cooker fudge is brilliant.

I add orange oil or mint or something push marshmallows into the tope once it's been poured into the tin. It's very popular, and a lot easier than faffing about with sugar thermometer!

If anyone has a few hours to lose this afternoon I’ve just watched this youtube channel with Christmas decorations. Some really good ideas. Skip through the first few segments which are just spray paint projects.

This going to be a very low key Christmas for various reasons but I am really enjoying this thread and will seek inspiration for future Christmases.

thank you for the chocolate fudge recipe. I like plain fudge but will give this a go

Hello! I’ve been following for a while, but finally feel like I can properly join in

For my older DS’s first Christmas I made him an advent calendar with little felt ornaments that he hung on the felt tree each day. Now that my younger DS is about to have his first Christmas, I wanted to make him something too! So I went out today and bought a little 4’ Christmas tree for the playroom, and I’m going to make felt ornaments for that. The ones for the advent calendar are about 1” tall each, these will probably be 2” or 3”... we shall see how they turn out. I’m not very crafty, but love making things for the little ones.

Between that and the fact that DH is finally (after 8 years of complaining!!) REALLY getting into Christmas this year and actually enjoying finding new decor- I think it’s going to be a great one!

(I included a few pictures of the ornaments I made for the advent calendar 2 years ago, it looks VERY homemade lol, but I love them!)

Makina those decorations are so cute! All the recipes on this thread look wonderful too!

Ok, back to lurking on this thread

@Gingerivy wish I had the balls to put the tree up NOW

Fab freezing the dough idea!!

I've been poncing about crocheting gifts and making gift labels with bow maker and some ribbon sets from The Range. Also bought 6 interesting baubles and some tinsel to update the tree. I'm going to re use all the gold stuff from last year and just add in a deep blue colour with the new baubles and tinsel. So nothing huge but just little bits of ponce here and there.