Poncetastic Christmas 2018

[VivaJen]

I know we have the "Any Ponces Around?" thread but in honour of Fellatio Nelson here is the 2018 Poncetastic Thread.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

NoWord
The SeriousEats Cinnamon Bun recipe is brilliant. I found the frosting a little sweet but the buns themselves are delicious

www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2017/12/bravetart-homemade-cinnamon-rolls-recipe.html

Also you can make in advance and freeze as follows:
Follow the recipe through step 6. Then instead of refrigerating in step 7, pop the dough in the freezer. When you’re ready to bake, thaw the dough overnight in the refrigerator and carry on to step 8 as directed. They’ll keep in the freezer for several months.

I did this last xmas and they were a big hit

Thank you, @mathanxiety and @PetrovaFossil1. I can't wait to bake these; the house will smell amazing!

NoWord this Rachel Allen recipe is really nice - have made them a couple of times goodfood.uktv.co.uk/recipe/cinnamon-pecan-buns/

Yes the smell when they're being prepped/baked is amazing. Christmassy food smells are the best. Especially lemons or oranges being grated for zest - beautiful.

I adore the smell of Christmas. I do loads of baking, and I'm spreading it out a bit this year, rather than doing it all on Christmas Eve (fraught!!). Our house will smell amazing every weekend.

Christmas pudding being made tomorrow, then onto making the cake just ahead of stir up Sunday!

Then hopefully onto chutneys, sauces, and stocking fillers...

The mincemeat I made this week looked and smelled immense. It’s cheered me on a little bit.

Currently got Xmas cake in the oven, first time making one so will have to see how it goes.

I have found my people! I've just bought a hot glue gun to complete my Christmas ponce experience- will be making many decorations and am starting my fruit soaking today in readiness for stir up Sunday next week.

NoWord
Found my recipe -
The machine allows the following for mixing/kneading and rising cycles:
20 minutes initial mixing of all ingredients together
20 minutes rise
Punching down
50 minutes rise
So two rises in all, and the dough should more than double in size by the end. The two risings would take longer if you're not using a bread machine, I would imagine.

Recipe:
2 Tbsp sugar (about an ounce)
1 teaspoon salt
1 tsp cinnamon
11 1/4 ounces strong flour (some for flouring the work surface)
1/4 ounce of active dry yeast
2 fl ozs water
1 lg egg
8 fl ozs milk
2 ozs soft butter

About 1/4 lb butter for spreading on the interior of the rolls.
About 4 ozs sugar for sprinkling on the interior.
About 2-3 ozs cinnamon for sprinkling.

Chopped nuts optional.

Extra flour for kneading.

• In the machine all the ingredients are simply mixed together and 'kneaded' for 20 minutes. This might work well with the dough hook of the KitchenAid. If you find your dough is too dry add more water gradually, and if too wet add more flour.

• After that, allow to rise until you see a good deal of volume.

• Punch down.

• Allow to rise again.

• Once the dough has doubled, punch down again and knead for a few minutes on a floured surface to bind it all together.

• Roll out to about 15x12 inch rectangle.

• Spread with about a quarter pound of very soft butter, or melted butter (you can get away with less melted butter).

• Sprinkle castor sugar over the butter as evenly as possible.

• Sprinkle cinnamon over the butter and sugar (a good coating) as evenly as possible.

• Roll the dough length ways, to give a 15 inch long log. Pinch flap to seal.

• Turn your log over so the seal side is down/on the counter. This should keep it from flapping open.

• Cut a length of thread to about 12 inches.
  Mark 12 even spaces on top of your log using tight thread or a knife. Begin in the middle for halves, then mark quarters, then divide each quarter in three.

• Slide your thread under the end of the log with an end in each hand, bring up the ends around and over the log tightly, cross them over, and you have one roll cut.

• Place roll in greased 13x9 baking dish (or dish with similar area). Your dish should have sides that are at least 2 inches high. Pyrex is fine.

• Keep on cutting with the thread (a knife will ruin the shape of the rolls) until you have all 12 in your baking dish, leaving space between each one.

They will look small and not very promising. Don't despair.

• Spread melted butter over the top of each roll and cover with a cloth or loosely with cling film.

• You can leave them to rise overnight even in a cold kitchen and they should be bulging out of the dish by the next morning.

• You can do a faster rise if you leave them in a warm spot until they are crowding the dish.

• Bake at gas mark 4, 175C for about 20-25 minutes.

If you like, you can pour a glaze made from icing sugar, milk and vanilla over them when they are cool. I once forgot what I was doing and made a lemon glaze by accident. It wasn't bad but the verdict was that vanilla is nicer.

• Actually, there are three rises including the final rise when they are rolls in the dish.

Sorry, can't count...

Looks good. I might have to test the KitchenAid out on it!

DH is commenting on the number of eggs I have in the house at the moment - I know that baking days are coming imminently!!!

I've sniffed my homemade mincemeat and it smells lovely ,it's 2 years old! I'm going to use it for the mincepies.

My egg stash will increase dramatically next week as I'm baking the last weekend of the month! And I have a butter mountain in the fridge!

My second cross stitch is coming on nicely too.

No word- that's lovely, I wish I could cross stitch- I just don't have the dexterity

I have however made a batch of mince pies, and spent some of yesterday glittering pine cones ready for wreaths and garlands.

I've also booked Friday off work- not to trim up, but to paint the house ready to trim up I always give the hallway a coat before trimming, and this year am doing the whole house

We have to paint the woodwork as well. It feels like the task never ends!

I'm not artistic, so wouldn't be able to do creative stuff with pine cones; we all have some things we can do better than others!

Hope you don’t mind another lurker joining in. I have my Christmas pudding and cake made, some mince pies in the freezer and DH has put the lights up on the outside of the house, not on yet though.

My eldest DS will be back from Uni on 8 Dec so he will do the tree then, he is a bit ocd with it. My younger DS will do some baking, his speciality is sausage rolls made with rough puff pastry.

DH and I are off to visit the Christmas markets in Vienna soon, hoping to get some inspiration there.

Did anyone see OUR programme on telly yesterday ??!! it was Kirstie's Homemade Christmas, it's great with some good ideas even I could do!

The cakes were unbelievable!

Like Egremont and ppeatfruit I love chestnuts in any form but especially when they are marrons glacés. But these are so expensive that I have made several attempts to make my own using vacuum packed cooked chestnuts.

But however delicately I touch them and simmer them I end up with chestnutty gravel and no lovely whole ones.

Has anyone successfully made these and if so, any tips?

I always find the bought marrons glace` TOO sugary Egremont So i looked at a recipe and the amount of sugar that is needed for them is outrageous!! They also need to be cooked from raw.

So I buy the ready cooked ones in a jar , you can get unsweetened or sweetened. I buy the unsweetened and add my own amount of sweetener. Also I make the filling for a chocolate roulade with them sweetened and a savoury veggie loaf.

Interesting poncing challenge today: I’m doing a pta Santa’s workshop on Saturday and I’m doing an ‘eco table’ where everything used is recyclable/biodegradable and/or uses recycled materials.
Currently got: Brown paper wrapping with ink stamps, making bows from paper, gift tags using cereal box card and old wrapping paper, little paper gift bags to decorate, fir cone decs. Can you think of anything else really simple?

Also, for home poncing- I’m wondering if it’s possible to hang a branch from the ceiling and hang very small decorations and lights from it? Has anyone ever done this? Would those command strips hold it if I used enough of them? It’s getting close to December 1st now and I’m getting very excited! Bought some large baubles for a cherry tree on our front drive on Facebook so will collect those today. Can’t wait to put the decorations up!!

Making Santas, Snowmen or Penguins out of toilet roll middles? Have pre cut pieces of Red, white or black paper the right length to cover the roll, allow the DCs to decorate those with other cut outs and markers/pencils, then glue the decorated "person" to the roll.

Or making crackers with them?

Cut the segments from egg cartons, and make them into "bells" by painting them, adding a clapper from half a cotton bud, and a loop of ribbon/string to hang them. You could sprinkle some glitter over the paint while its still wet, if you are up for the extra mess.

Was Kirsty a new series, or repeat? I presume it was on Channel 4 (or within the Ch4 family)? I might be able to find it on their player...

It's a repeat Biddy Channel 4 1.05.p.m. I hadn't seen that particular one though. I don't mind repeats at Chiristmas, they keep rolling out Delia's Christmas one and I keep watching it !!!

Actually I don't mind repeats at all as long as the programmes are worth watching!!

thenewwave I make an Xmas tree in a vase; you get some lovely greenery from the garden and or cut offs from an Xmas tree. (they were giving them away at the local garden centre Then decorate with your old dexs. It looks lovely. I did it for dm who's too old to get out her fake tree. You can make more than one.