Poncetastic Christmas 2018

[VivaJen]

I know we have the "Any Ponces Around?" thread but in honour of Fellatio Nelson here is the 2018 Poncetastic Thread.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

MissMarplesKnitting great idea to repurpose some of the garland. It looks great!
I’ve just been in the garage spray painting hula hoops as want to try & make this only a Christmas version. Will share when I’m finished

Oops meant to ask has anyone used the Lakeland star cookie tree set? I’m thinking if I cook all mine at same time the little stars will burn before the big stars? Do you do them separate?

@KingLooieCatz, freeze cooked and usually cook from frozen. Recipe says defrost, however'

Always, not Lakeland but similar. I use no baking powder in the biscuits to avoid crazy spreading. On mine it needs multiples of some layers (especially the top ones) or you end up with a very flat little pile and also it means you have more of the decent sized biscuits and not the tiny/massive ones. I used fondant icing last year, just used the same cutters and cut stars, brush the biscuits with a very thin layer of water icing so it sticks- then no sticky royal icing and complicated piping required!

And yes do them separate!

Yes, Always , I have used it every year since Lakeland started doing them. The recipe on the box, unless it has changed, gives the right amount of dough but I do at least 50% more or double to make sure there is enough for the big layers then I make small trees with the left overs. You won't be able to cook them all at once as you need two of each size and the big ones take up a lot of space.Start with the small ones, so if you do run out of dough the tree will still be tree shaped, just smaller. I have tried newaverage's fondant technique but now do just glacé icing with silver balls etc stuck on and once or twice an iridescent white spray I had lying around. You need something sticky to hold the layers together.

They do look good when finished .

Need to check Aldi for the tree star cutters! I'm gluten free so baked a test batch of gluten free shortbread last night which I think will work well for the biscuit tree. Not so crumbly that it falls apart but not like a rock either

Hello all, i'm back. We're going green this Christmas too (well Iam) So I'm using last year's and the years before present bags (even old, attractive heavy duty paper bags, you know the ones you get with make up in with little string handles).

I'm going to cover the printing with, admittedly bought, sticker stars and other pretty stickers.

I'm feeling free because we're eating out on Xmas day so I'll make and freeze a chocolate roulade and possibly a Stollen instead of a Xmas pudding .

Lidl are advertising them as well, with a little tree stand as well, from next Thursday. They have some craft stuff in this week, I’ve just bought a stamp set of Christmas stampers for my wrapping paper.

Thanks for all the cookie tree tips. I think I’ll just use my granny’s shortbread recipe for the stars so very little spreading. I made my first hoop.

Got the tree cutters and also some 3d Christmassy ones would a centrepiece biscuit tree surrounded by snowmen be too much biscuit!?

Lovely hoop @AlwaysPottering! Quite poncetastic. How did you attach the foliage to the hoop?

@dementedma how did you make the grapefruit gin?? It sounds divine I love grapefruit flavoured drinks

Also, does anyone have a tried and tested pâté recipe?? Thinking about making my own for Christmas Day starters

Hello

I’m very amateur at all this compared to you guys but the house is full of good smells as the second Christmas cake is simmering (one for each side of family). This one will be soaked in Glenlivet, the other one is in Laphroiag.

I have blackberry brandy, sloe gin and butterscotch vodka in kilner jars in a dark cupboard.

But I think the ponceitude finally emerged when I found on eBay some of the 30s/40s glass baubles my grandparents had... DH is baffled.

Do I pass muster to make the occasional appearance here?

You seem far from amateur to me, Egremont.
Does anyone make iced biscuits to hang in the tree? I have seen plenty of recipes and pictures but none in real life. I thought I might have a go this year. Any recommendations for recipes? Nigella's look good in the photos.
What about that thing where you make a hole and let a boiled sweet melt as the biscuit bakes? Does it work?

Tricky I’ve made windows in a gingerbread house like that but not biscuits. I do like the idea of biscuits on the tree but never actually do them because you’d need to eat them all pretty quickly or they’ll go stale.

Not poncing, but tomorrow I’m starting my Christmas goodies box with my weekly shop. Excited!

Newaverage, do you think gingerbread biscuits would be ok using the mix for a house? Gingerbread houses don't go stale very quickly.

Thanks @NoWordForFluffy.

Comethexx I have a lovely recipe for chestnut veg. pate. it's veggie though. There are plenty of recipes on line.

Not sure tricky, I’ve always used the same dough for houses as biscuits but omitted the baking powder. Maybe if you kept them in an airtight box and just put them on the tree a few at a time they would last. I’ve seen non-edible gingerbread dough as well, to make decorations (sort of like a ginger scented salt dough)

Yes thenewaverage Saltdough I was trying to remember the name of the dough that DD1 used to use to make really lovely tree dex. We still use them.

Ppeat now I’ve never had any luck with them after one year’s use- often find by the next year they are squishy. There’s some amazing things on Pinterest using it though. I saw an amazing gingerbread cookie wreath which I’ve always said I’ll make if we ever have a Christmas party.

I don’t think anything can beat very plain chicken liver or duck liver pate! Fry lightly in butter with some shallots, and blitz til very smooth

often find by the next year they are squishy store them in tissue/cardboard but not in plastic or a sealed box. Same for orange slices and pomanders. It’s the oppposite of what you would think you should do.

Alan thanks that’s very useful.

I am upping my ChristmasPonce quotient...I am going to a Holly Wreath workshop!

...very excited!