Dh won't lie about Father Christmas

[lazycow]

That's it really. He says he refuses to lie to ds for something that is purely recreational even in an indirect way and has suggested we say something along the lines of

'Everybody plays a game at Christmas where they pretend Santa Claus exists so we can play too etc..'

I have some sympathy with this view actually as I don't like lying to ds either but this seems to be a bit TOO PC for my liking. I suppose I remember the excitement of waiting for the Santa delivery on Christmas eve and would like ds to have that.

As dh says though a lot of the lying about Father Christmas is because adults enjoy watching the result so in a lot of ways we are lying to our children for our own pleasure.

As ds is only 2 this year I'm sure we can skirt the issue with 'Let's put the stocking up and see if any presents arrive' without mentioning who brings them but next year I think will be different. Although I can see dh's point I can't help feeling disappointed and that somehow ds will miss out.

Does anyone else tell their children that Father Christmas doesn't exist from the beginning and if so do your kids still love Christmas and get excited about it?

Am 100% in favour of a Father Christmas who looks like George Clooney, though...

Or even thirteen of them [drifts off into reverie...]

I would most certainly tell my kids that I don't believe jesus was the son of god. I would also tell them that other people disagree with me. And then we might get on to the historical jesus who prob did exist, a most interesting figure.

I am not going to restrict what I say to my kids for fear they might step on someone's toes.

But if you like I will wear some sort of Non Beliver badge during advent and the twelve days of xmas so you can all avoid us in the playground.

I belive you are never too young to question. I think questioning is one of the best things ever.

I wouldn't mind if a kid told my dc that Jesus wasn't real or that evolution weren't real or that dinosaurs weren't real or that fairies weren't real. I am more than able to discuss any of these issues without feeling het up.

Ooooh am I pc? I've never been pc before!

Filly - the PC bit came from my interpretation of people "not lying to their children" - IMO "PC".

I don't have any problem with other children not doing Father Christmas. ANd I don't have a problem with them telling my children that he doesn't exist. As I said before, the uncertainty is lovely in itself. Ds has wobbly moments. He's 5, he isn't stupid. He knows it all hinges on magic, and he isn't sure about magic. But on the whole he WANTS to believe in magic because it makes his world more special. And so he does. And when he is ready, he'll stop.

but why is that pc buda?

(and it wasnt specifically aimed at you, its all over the thread)

but...ah feck it. I don't get it. do you mean woolly liberal? cos theres quite a lot of hardcore lentil weavers on here who are pro-santa.

See I've totally lost the point with this thread now as I am too busy thinking about George Clooney coming down my chimmney in the middle of the night

Oh I lie to mine all the time! Whenever it suits me actually!

I just don't like the thought of my kids attaching any importance to an overstuffed Christmas decoration who breaks into houses and leaves yet another expensive present.

My kids only get oranges.

Yes, father christmas is a lie, I knew for definate when I was 10 that he is a lie - but I was under strict instruction not to spoil the magic for my brother.

The magic is, btw, the belief that runs so deep that you really do think you heard sleigh bells, that keeps you awake and bedwettingly excited until 3am, and up at 4.30, when every shadow on the moon is Santa's sleigh, and every whisper of wind is reindeer breathe.

I know it's not real, but I believed when I was a child, and it was wonderful, and I am saddened to think that it might be spoiled for my child, not for the sake of religion, not for any strong personal things, but because some people think that children shouldn't be told about it. He isn't even proposing to replace it with a different religious festival, or a religious Christmas, he's taking the magic and leaving nothing. Santa isn't all about the presents to children, if that were the case then why don't they get so excited about birthdays?

Maybe I am being very childish, closed minded, and unreasonable, if I am found by the Mumsnet jury to be guilty of this then so be it, but that is what I believe and I believe it cvery strongly.

I know, I'm a bit baffled by this PC business as well. I think what PC means here is "killjoy".

Dearie me, how many more times? Listen - you can not really believe in FC, but - you can still have the magic! Yes, really!

Filly - OP said her DH was bing "too PC" - think that is where it came from.

I'm not worried about it being a shock when he does find out, it wasn't a shock to me, I am worried about it being taken away before he lets go of it himself. Which he will. I will be heartbroken because I remember the santa magic in my house as a child, I pretended to believe for years, not because I thought I wouldn't get presents, but because it was wonderful,.

It is more likely to be spoiled for your child by the child of parents who did tell them about Father Christmas than by the child of parents who didn't. So why are you getting so worked up about the latter group?

Blimey.

This got a bit heated.

I think it needs to be pujt in perspective a buit. My ds (as I have said) is 6.5 and he is wavering this year - next year I think he'll definitely have rumbled that FC is not real. But I am absolutely sure he'll play along with the game for dd as long as she believes.

So really - age 3 was when he 'got' it, to age 6 when he suspects - it's not like a lifelong deception is it?

But we have never gone down the talcum powder fotsteps route so we're maybe not really hard core father Christmasistas.

I don;t think it's unreasonable at all to believe strongly in the magic of Santa. Don't see how you can expect others to necessarily show respect for what is so obviously an untruth. No one's purposefully spoiling the fun by telling small children. Small children will do that of their own accord at some point.

Colditz I second all those sentiments!

What is magic about "We have bought you some presents, you will get them on the 25th of December."

Exciting, yes, but there's no magic there.

And don't 'dearie me' at me.

Am I needed to poured over Christmas?
Drown the bugger?

Well why can't he just leave it to you then? You tell the kids about FC, he shuts his trap? He isn't personally lying, if questioned he can mumble "dunno" and walk off.

Or you can say, that it's either FC or JC!

Xmas wouldnt be xmas without santa, im already pointing out santa piccies to my ds whos just 2 and saying "theres father xmas, he brings you loads of pressies",love it,love it, love it.

my eldest boy aged 12, realised only last xmas that it was me buying all his pressies

See I really did hear the sleigh bells etc but found out after that actually it was my mum under the window. Bless her!!! I have to say that I loved the excitement of xmas as i didn't have the happiest years growing up but xmas was a time of year where magic seemed to creep in and make everything special and was the one time of the year when I felt like we were all happy. I would say though that the magic didn't disappear once I found out santa wasn't real. Its a magical time of year anyway so on reflection, whilst I will always embrace santa and allow my children to believe in him, I do see that those not comfortable with it take other options whilst retaining the magic of xmas.

Hear hear colditz!

Dearie me!